Congratulations, people of Kinloch, Missouri! You found someone willing to undertake the thankless job of small town mayor and you gave her the most votes. But who knew the difficulty of a campaign would pale in comparison to trying to physically enter Kinloch City Hall.

On April 7, Betty McCray won an election for the tiny 300 person town with a vote count of 38-18. Yet when she showed up to her first day of work this past Thursday, city hall’s door was locked. And no one left a key under the welcome mat, in a flower pot, or in the fake rock. Undeterred she went back again, only to be thwarted by 20 police officers heroically standing tall as the 64-year-old mayor-elect advanced towards the front door.

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In a smooth move, incumbent Darren Small and his merry band of sore losers had the city attorney inform McCray that she was suspended due to allegations of voter fraud, a fashionable way of claiming you didn’t lose an election because you sucked at governing. The St. Louis County Board of Elections certified the results, but that didn’t stop Small, who will leave a wall streaked with fingernail marks when he’s finally removed from the building.

Believe it or not, the last time city hall received the lockdown treatment, Small was on the other side of the metal door. In early 2014, interim mayor Theda Wilson shut it down because she said she couldn’t locate the town’s monies, which seems at least a little bit reasonable if we explore this tiny town’s history. So why are town politics for a mini town abutting a major airport so perpetually ass-backwards? (No, it’s not #CHEMTRAILS, weirdos.)

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Moar words!