Fiorina Has High Name Recognition Among Thousands She Fired

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—One day after the former Hewlett-Packard C.E.O. Carly Fiorina announced her candidacy for the 2016 Republican Presidential nomination, a new poll shows that she enjoys extremely high name recognition among the tens of thousands of former H.P. employees she fired.

According to the poll, conducted by the University of Minnesota’s Opinion Research Institute, Fiorina’s name recognition stands at a hundred per cent among the legions of employees she terminated, with many of them calling the former C.E.O. “unforgettable.”

Additionally, a broad majority of the laid-off workers described their feelings about Fiorina as “intense,” and noted that very few days go by when they do not invoke her name in a vehement manner.

Davis Logsdon, who supervised the survey for the University of Minnesota, said that Fiorina’s entry into the Republican race had “energized” many former H.P. employees.

“Most of them were apathetic about the race before, but now they are very excited to see how it plays out for Carly Fiorina,” he said.

Impressively, Fiorina’s hundred-per-cent name recognition among fired H.P. employees ranks her ahead of other names mentioned in the survey, such as Darth Vader (ninety-nine per cent) and Satan (ninety-seven per cent).

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