I had severe sciatic pain for three years. They gave me pain killers, but being in a chemical fog all day is almost as bad as the pain. Plus, the pain is not really gone, just damped down enough to allow movement, sleep, etc. That was years ago, but I can imagine how it would be if that pain was still with me, after 20 years. Imagine that, 20 years of not being able to move, of popping pills that induce a zombie state.

but it will be twenty five years for me. Even with pain medication the pain is always there to some degree. BTW I must add that disclaimer just like that person had to on the blog because if people tell their chronic pain stories they are looked upon as whiners or looking for sympathy. It's my life, I wish I could tell another story but I'm stuck with this one.

taken in ways I didn't intend.

But, yes, I do understand chronic pain to the extent I can. I've known people with debilitating pain before it became a specialty, and heard my father cry for more Demerol as he lay dying from cancer. We still shake our heads remembering the doctor worrying about him becoming addicted, but that's the way it works here.

But, when I've had migraines, or burns, or cuts or toothaches, I always knew it would be over soon. I can't imagine living with some of the temporary pain I've experienced as a normal and permanent fact of life.

No matter how much we try, we really can't feel the physical pain of another. There's an abstract understanding, but there's a level we just can't relate to. It must at some point be an incredibly lonely journey.

I also have that problem..... thank you for the reply

The only description I can think to describe it is powerful. So many people do not understand the difference between living and being alive. Depression is debilitating and I cannot imagine the level of depression one feels when constant pain prevents experiencing life to its fullest. We are answer driven creatures. We need to know why and how... we need to have resolution. When resolution isn't possible, mental health suffers. The one sentence that I find so important is: " My body kept adding more and more disparate symptoms and the doctors seemed to get less and less understanding of my situation." I really feel this is the turning point with people who suffer from chronic pain, undiagnosed disease. So long as there is hope (For a cure, for relief, for something as simple as a diagnosis), people will suffer through their challenges and attempt to keep a positive perspective. When those people we look to for help turn away, that is when many start experiencing despair.
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Again, thank you for sharing this blog article with us.

to explain what people go through yet they are far and in between. I though this blog was spot on and straight to the point.

I'm at the point of mental combustion, stuck in this rut and,
All this extra weight just results in self destruction,
Beatin' up myself I need to find some kind of peace,
So I take that walk to the corner bar searching for release.

Twist the caps and throw 'em back that's how I numb the sorrows,
Getting lost inside a bottle forgettin' all my tomorrows,
Spoken word and smokin' herb to try and calm my nerves,
Turning my lungs death black, guess it's what I deserve.

Through all the cheap escapes used to break free from reality,
From all the pills and all the thrills that pull me down like gravity,
In actuality, I bring this pain upon myself,
So whatever the case, don't take this as a cry for help.

Contemplating the next step in this mysterious journey, yearning, this passion is burning,
For the cure to stop my stomach from turning,
I'd do anything to constrain this pain of my brain it's hard to stay sane with a weight upon my shoulders,
that's much more heavier than boulders.

Building up pressure inside it feels like I'm about to burst,
To tell you the truth talking about it just makes me feel worse,
Like I'm living a curse that's got me destined for destruction,
And when depression sets in it makes things difficult to function.

Trying to make things all right but wrong's the only thing that's left,
Can't even write this song right 'cause I don't know treble or bass clef,
Living my life day to day without knowing what comes next,
See that's what fuels my frustration, it's not so complex.