when someone says that I usually squint and say "So all this time you've been lying?"

Which is why I am loved in real life as much as on DU.

as much as I'd love you in real life



kidding!

I hope that's an insult.

If not, thank you!

besides, the same could be said about me!

that is a brutally frank reply

To be honest, I use it, and I pretty much ignore it - or don't consciously notice it- when others use it. i dont feel it makes them sound any less honest... or more honest, for that matter.

So much of communication is about cadence and rythym, and that itself has an inherent functionality in how speech or text plays in the recipient's mind.

I mean.... Look at examples of people who do that sort of thing badly- and how their expression often comes off like an incomprehensible word salad train wreck.

You had to be there.

Once again I need a spreadsheet - or cliff's notes- to play the game of DU.

A lot of times, "to be blunt" basically just means "I'm going to be an asshole here, but I said I'm going to be blunt so it's OK." When saying something about the other person that they may not want to hear, the "to be honest" formula is somewhat gentler on their feelings.

But when it precedes a statement of fact, it very often signifies that the fact is bullshit. For example: "To be honest, honey, I was working late tonight at the office. Haven't been near the bar in weeks, to be honest..."

(And of course, sometimes it's just a space-filler, a sesquipedalian 'um.' And another thought, it's also a way of acknowledging that the speaker is admitting something they'd prefer not to: "I've spent too much time on this, to be honest...&quot

Or worse, "I'm not a racist, but..."

It makes my brain hurt to think that's what people may hear, though. I often use "frankly" or "seriously" as a matter of conversational rhythm and a cue to elevate the importance of what I'm going to say next. I don't think I wanted to know I was undermining the credibility of my words instead. Add female gender, and that trivializes everything I have to say.

It's hard enough to stay organized while speaking in the first place. If I have to micro-analyze at this level, I won't be able to speak out loud at all.

boorish, and terribly annoying.