all the young heterosexual guys on my facebook change their main profile picture to the rainbow version in solidarity. The issue that caused me annoyance on facebook was the confederate flag thing and the excuses for support of that from a few.

Most of what I see on DU about Facebook are negatives and convince me I have been right to never have subscribed to it. What is supposed to bring people together seems to have the effect of tearing families apart.

I thought I was the only one in the universe not on FB.

Used to go on all the time, but haven't been on in over a year. Don't miss it a bit. It just became a big waste of time, I'd much rather waste it on DU. Lol

...I was.

So, I only joined to respond to/on some of the articles or to posters, and don't know if they have respond back to me and don't care if they have.

Facebook is like junior high school on steroids. Some people love and miss their junior high school days. I am not one of these people.

It is nothing I would ever waste my time on.

sharing and posting rainbow flags, etc.

But, both my sons are gay. My friends and family know it. They know two wonderful
young men--in their 20's--who are both in serious relationships. Although I haven't
heard any discussion from either about getting married, I do hope to be the mother
of the groom one of these days!

We human beings often have a desire to be better than anyone else. We have a need to compete. Unfortunately for some, bullying or hating someone different than you fills the need.
I was on Twitter while the black lives matter protest was going on in Berkeley, and after a while I left because all the open hate made me ill. Just take a break from Facebook.
People like that are out and out crazy. Crazy in the sense of stupid. They have an inability to see that what they believe makes no sense. Some religious belief is a breeding ground for people who want to feel superior to others. If you examined their lives closely you'd find that other people are expected to live their lives according to any doctrine they'd pull out of their perfumed butt, however they are immune. Their real God is them.
You need to step away and take care of you. Hatred and stupidity are overwhelming. Humor has always helped me and my wife.
Take care.

but i second it

because they are against it and know that it will be another argument and another day where I may or may not have left the house super depressed and self destructive. They don't seem to put two and two together. That they refused to talk about it, in my case, is a godsend. If they had talked about it, in such a monumental amazing type scenario as this, it would send me over the edge.

My step dad, though, has no tact, no manners, and no clue. He'll ruin it. I'm trying to steel myself, prepare myself, for when he goes off on his, "if you just found the right man" bullshit at me, once again, for the millionth time. It always leaves me feeling like I wish I had never been born. When I was 24, he tried to set me up with a 56 year old co-worker of his. That's his idea of "the right kind" of relationship.

It's even worse if my mother does talk about it. Everything with her is always worse. She has a way of trivializing it and saying it is not hard to be with a man and that I should suck it up and cash in. That's her idea of "the right kind" of relationship. Fuck them good, then talk them into the credit card and go shopping. Spend all their money while they bask in the afterglow.

I don't even bother to speak to the rest of my family and local yocals where I live are the types that believe raping a lesbian is the right thing to do.

So, in a way, I'm fucking glad I didn't have to go anywhere yesterday and that my family kept their bigoted mouths shut. It was nice. They'll eventually start talking about it though and I'll go off the deep end again.

Not for nothing, but your family sound like idiots. I'd be depressed too if they were my main support system. You can't maintain your mental health in the presence of such ignorance.

Hope you won't take offense at this. I'm sending you a virtual hug.

I have mostly online friends who are supportive. Locally, most of the ones who were supportive moved away. We do still keep in touch online though. So, that's good.

Yes, it is very hard to keep mentally stable with my family in my life every day and my friends so far away. Locally, there is no support to be had. This town is backasswards. So, it is good I do have my friends online and my Zoloft. It has helped a lot too, to numb me, mostly. Otherwise, I probably would not still be here.

Thank you for your kind words. And, no, I do not take offense. My family's nonsense offends me, but not your kind words of support.

these people so angry and afraid they don't want to listen. All I do now is tell them that they are being programmed to react the way they do.

I have a good friend I hadn't seen in a few years, a small business owner who I ran into last week. He had become Tea-washed in the interim. I know him to be a good person since I have known him his entire life. He told me with spittle flying, in all honesty, that Obama was the worst President ever! I asked him what was the economy like when Obama came into office and how many wars were we in? It didn't matter.

I just told him that I believed that the Democrats and the Republicans were all bought off by the same people. That the corporate masters have issues they care about (financial), and that they leave the social issues to divide and distract us. I explained that these Plutocrats also own the MSM and manipulate how we feel about our politics. I informed him that he has been duped and needed to start reading more from different sources, otherwise he will always be their pawn and a victim. I hope that gets him to start thinking on his own as no one likes to be played. I stayed away from issues and individual politicians and explained how our legal bribery (campaign contributions) have taken away Representative Democracy. I told him if he wanted to see the government he wanted he had to help get rid of the money in politics.

Let's hope this tact works!

and, although they are intelligent, I don't see them ever turning around. They must have kept their biases/hate well hidden, as I never expected them to turn out this way. They spew religious sayings all over Facebook, ad nauseum, which I feel is sacrilegious in its own way, but I ignore most of it. I figure that if they have to tell the world 24/7, they must not feel secure about their own beliefs.

However, I might add that since they are easily influenced, seeing all the rainbow posts of their friends may just turn them around. None of them are posting much of anything since the decision came down, so I feel they aren't proud of their feelings toward gays. I doubt they will ever change their minds about Obama. Even his rendition of "Amazing Grace" will never do that!

I wish you had the support that you deserve. I hope you can hang in there and get out of there soon.

All my friends were too busy celebrating!

I did not know that was possible.

I only have one family member as a facebook friend. Only two of my other facebook friends are conservative. I simply never comment on any of their political posts.

on my FB thread has posted any complaints about the decision. It speaks well of the people I associate with. And though I do know a few people in older generations who may not be thrilled about the SC decision, they know well enough to keep quiet and not rant on FB about it.

Overall, my FB feed has been celebratory and joyous about the decision.

over this issue, so I have no idea what her reaction is. Very negative I am sure. All my other friends, and relatives, are very, very happy.

My straight friends and my straight family (several of my cousins are gay, too) on FB are overwhelmingly supportive. There was one veiled protest from a fundie relative that Liked a hand-wringing post about God's Judgment on our country, but I suspect that accidentally slipped through a filter. I'm sure I'm not seeing many of the posts she makes (and that's more than okay by me).

I still love her in spite of her bigotry. I blame the church I left a long time ago for her opinions. I will never get her to understand that her bigotry hurts people. In this case, I am not my sisters keeper.

bigotry. I certainly cannot get my family to quit being so bigoted about not only gay rights but about race too. I won't bring any of my Jewish friends anywhere near my mother either. She's awful there too. No amount of reasoning, arguments, persuasion, or anything else has ever moved my family from their feelings through the years. They are set in that mindset and will never change. I have already decided that if I ever do get to get married (I need to find Mrs. Right first), I am going to ask some of my friends to come as my family. I would want it to be a happy time, not tense and miserable, like it would be if my family was anywhere nearby.

(and 35% to being happy).

TV news and FaceBook memes often appeal more to feeling than to thinking. Ultimately there is no FaceBook button to click on that says "I agree" or "I find that to be true" -- only one that says "Like".

So when you take unhappy people and put them in front of Fox or certain angry FB memes they get supplied with reasons to feel the unhappiness that they already feel. Seeing other people get their hard fought rights only pushes them deeper into this cycle where they seek out "facts" that fit with their feelings.

You can't argue with feelings. Maybe that's why bigotry is the fodder of GOP politics -- it works well for the angry and unthinking among us.

my great niece in AR posted that she'd lost about half her facebook friends. it was good riddance all the way though. pretty much all my family and friends were as happy as I am that marriage equality has been affirmed.

that family and friends now have the same rights as they do. I'm a Christian, and most of my CHRISTIAN FRIENDS, including pastors, are overjoyed. A few others are lamenting the decision, and some even talking about being "persecuted" for their views. Such melodrama.

And if they can't handle it have unfriended me long before this.

I actually have lost the most friends over my criticisms of police.

Exploiting the decision for personal gain...

https://twitter.com/hillaryclinton/status/614541904722665472

... mind their own fucking business. "

I don't have a bunch of FB friends, family mostly. We're celebrating. Politically they run the whole gamut but all are 100% thrilled that our loved ones have full marriage equality

I have no Facebook account, so I spent the afternoon and evening enjoying the celebration on DU instead!

ranting about freedom finally being given to us.

i dont have anyone like that on my feed. in fact, i was hoping someone would post pics of their dinner. that was about all all that was in my feed.

i dont brook that shit. i usually unfriend people that post that kind of bs.
family, well, yeah, i second the person above who said get 2 account if your family is like that. but you can always hide them. you can unhide them any time.

I dont have any conservative "friends" on facebook, and my conservative family has been very quiet.

Good luck to you!

and didn't give a damn about what you thought. You just fought back. That is all.

I only have about 80 folks on facebook. I don't add / confirm every tom, dick, and harry that I've bumped into in the elevator.

If I add you on facebook, it's because I actually want to hear from you.

If I wanted to hear from my high school classmate, I would have kept in touch. The fact that I didn't? There's your first clue.

I'm blessed with having a liberal family, so no problem there. Matter of fact some have superimposed the rainbow colors on pictures of themselves! Animal rights people tend to care about all living things and are therefore pretty tolerant, at least the ones I know.

Sorry you are having to put up with such cretins.

I don't read them on any social media because all they do is blurt out stupid statements they hear in church or from their right wing media. It's all nonsense and someone needs to stand up the the emperor's with no clothes someday or we are all going to end up down the drain.

you had to deal with that on such a happy and historic day...just hide the posts.

I was amazed at the overwhelmingly positive responses on my feed. Some really surprised me! Even my international friends posts were all rainbows and happiness. It was a very nice day on social media for me.

after yesterday. Most everyone is positive and the few I know would be negative are choosing to be silent.

My Facebook friends are as happy as I am, I'm pleased to say.

Among my FB friends and family if anyone has posted messages it's been in support of marriage equality. Nothing really negative at all.

Nope, I've not logged into FB for 2 yrs now but I don't have any friends who'd have such a reaction; they're are liberal and mostly atheists.

Good on you for chewing into bigots. Yes, F them.

99 day break. I feel much better not being sucked into the RW talking points of some of my family and friends. To be honest, the interaction with them had become less and less of a problem so I figured they had me hidden anyway!

The people I know who would have made negative comments (there are a few, I suppose) knew enough to keep their mouths shut, I guess.

I saw mostly supportive posts about the gay marriage ruling. I think I've already purged most of the bigots.

There were a few misguided rants about the confederate flag that were mostly disappointing rather than hateful.

While they ranted about Aca.

I'm a token liberal so they were also razzing me.

They kept their pieholes shut yesterday.

Almost everybody I know on Facebook holds my views.

And those who don't are laying low.

These bigots are trying to tell others how to live their life? I don't think so.

although Missouri Synod (lutheran) did issue a statement it wasn't a killjoy

but some in that discussion are panicked that they'll force gays into their church. not happening unless the church votes to let them in.

course sure enough they have to find one couple that are suing a church so they can marry. pushing their luck.. really hate the name bigots. saying that name I might as well stoop to their level. you wanna go shouting at them for being a bigot they'll think the same of you. How bout nice talk? It worked fairly well. Jesus is love. ie I've always thought Jesus would rather watch Jesus Christ Superstar than The Passion. He's not much into violence. But almost 90 % of the stuff I read the other day was about God. yeah God is the judge I know. but Jesus is his advisor. God doesn't like **** but Jesus died on the cross for our sins. And in some cases I think the brain can be a bit messed up. or as mom put it. What happens with conjoined twins who share the same brain ?? or born without arms born without a sex?? it happens. and a good 99 % of the time so called Christians will call these people Freaks

Forgive them Lord for they no not what they do...

I choose my friends very carefully. And, I avoid idiot family members.

So far, there's been nothing but cheers and high fives. Maybe that's because many of my non white friends are aware that they are the descendants of "illegal" relationships.

I drank the tears of the couple of friends that posted negative reactions.

I was pleasantly surprised by the overwhelming positive reaction though.

I have one virulently homophobic relative, and I have him blocked. Life is too short.

Not at all.

I haven't updated by FB status in years, but I have an account, mostly as a way to reconnect with people from high school and college. They find me, ask to friend me, I say yes. I rarely look at my FB page but I see their posts. From time to time.

Yesterday evening I saw some nasty posts from people who were barely acquaintances in high school, I haven't seen them since then or communicated with them. I don't think that they all even know I'm gay.

So I'm wondering if I should (a) unfriend a bunch of people but continue to ignore my own FB page or (b) put some effort into updating my FB page and make it really really gay.

The latter is more appealing but I'm lazy.

Advice and thoughts welcome.

I had to deactivate my Facebook last year because I couldn't stand to read people's Ferguson posts.

I feel no sense of loss from doing that.

But a guy who belongs to the same exercise group I do set his his profile picture to triangle with god at the top, man on one bottom corner and woman on the other to express his dislike of the ruling. He also recently set his cover photo to the confederate battle flag to after the shooting in South Carolina to protest that stores are moving to stop selling that flag.

So he's all around an asshole.

I have some old school friends on Facebook, pining away for the "good old days" of school segregation, and acting as if same-sex marriage is some sort of mandatory requirement for the entire population. Makes me want to puke.

which anyone of a certain age will remember with horror. I created a Facebook account a few years ago to get in touch with someone for a specific reason but I haven't posted anything there in ages. When I read about how awful it can get I'm really glad I stay out of there. It's slam books on steroids.

...but in recent months I've accepted some FB friend requests from people I knew in high school and such. Yep, some vile stuff coming from some of those folks. Mostly I ignore it but if it doesn't stop soon I'm gonna do some culling of my "friends" list.

on edit: I have to say though, that by far most of my friends are liberals who support marriage equality, etc. I still really don't think I know any republicans. Some old high school acquaintances that I haven't seen in 40+ years notwithstanding.

But at least 5 others changed their profile pic to the rainbow flag!

like is too short for bs.

BRING IT ON

I thought for sure one of them would, then I realized I hadn't seen anything from him for a few weeks. Looks like I lost him- I guess he didn't care for my "flag of southern treason" and "Dixie swastika" posts.

you mean like next of kin status, inheritance rights, spousal rights, etc....They would feel entitled.

He said now they could adopt kids and the I stopped him....you do know our Congressman is gay, married and has 3 adopted children....he then shut his trap.

My facebook friends are a glorious mix across the entire political spectrum (although heavily weighted to the left). They all play nicely with each other.

I just posted the wonderful graphic of Bree Newsome, superhero, on my wall - the most innocuous thing I've posted in the past few days. I saw a comment from a friend I connected with because we both love someone with dementia - but we don't agree at all politically and thought "uh oh."

The comment was, "She will need a defense lawyer."

I responded that she would, and that civil disobedience done effectively does require a defense lawyer - suggested he watch the video and the respectful actions between the police who waited for her to come down, Bree as she explained her position, the police as they helped her over the fence, Bree as she stood patiently waiting to be arrested - and as they gently removed her helmet. And the crowd, who took their cue from Bree and cheered but made no attempt to interfere with the arrest.

The gist of his response - with enough time passing that I think he did go find the video, was - "Kind of like MLK. If only all protests could be so peaceful."

I suspect he disagrees with her, but he got the point about civil disobedience.

Every once in a while, I see stuff in my newsfeed from him I'd rather not see - and every once in a while I have the energy to have a conversation about it with him. More often than not, he moves just a little bit - and our conversations give him a face to connect with a radical queer feminist he would never run across in real life, or at least would never have had a conversation with. He is not the only one in this category - but he is the one with whom it happens most frequently. As long as I have the energy, I think it's a good thing!