Didn't see the "other" thread, but my deductible is $3000 with no subsidy. Heart attack five years ago with no insurance. Can't afford any followups for that, let alone any new conditions. Luckily wife is working now, but her Lupus is getting worse. So sorry to hear about your father; it's the same for our families - a lot of folks passing away now.

People are quick to latch on to any little slip or mistake on DU lately. Not sure why, but it seems that society in general is more mean-spirited these days. Stress, I suppose...

I wish the ACA had taken care of health care for all. I'm sorry you wife's lupus is getting worse. I know Obama tried, but the ACA just isn't affordable for many people. A $3000 or $4000 deductible doesn't help us, does it?

The doc wanted me to get a hoist to get me in the hot tub (that was here when we bought) for muscle spascicity. Cost is $895 withou shipping. LOL Like we can afford that.

The previous post:

http://betterment.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=7085744

peace and healing, ohheckyeah

Some people here can be very cruel. Please don't let them get you down. Just ignore their nastiness.

I usually can, I'm just more emtional than I use to be.

Then blame the stroke for saying what you really think!

I spent a solid year helping a close relation get over what was a similar situation--stroke resulting in right side deficit--an extremely independent individual, needing help with most everything at the start. Angry, depressed, unable to write, unable to walk, slurring words. Couldn't bathe or dress himself, needed help with EVERYTHING. Damn, was he pissed off!

Today, he's living independently, walks with a cane, has fully recovered speech (and a fine, controlled singing voice), handwriting is back to normal, is able to drive, shop, do all the "daily life" stuff. All that's left is a significant limp but that gets his lazy ass a handicapped parking sticker (this is said with love). Of course, he can't walk as far, or as fast, but he was never a big exerciser anyway, so his lifestyle has not changed much. He had to say goodbye to hot baths, and he uses a shower chair, but otherwise, he's resumed his former life and interests (he's past his working prime, so that wasn't an issue). I know he was motivated to improve, not the least to get me off his ass, pushing, pushing, pushing him to do more.

Are you getting physical therapy? That is KEY. LOTS of it--as much as you can stand, and when you think you can't stand anymore, a bit more, still (with the accompanying anger/tears). If you have a relative who can duplicate the therapy protocol you are receiving, go on and take that help. If you can move your right hand, move it. Grab a pen/pencil and start writing. If you have to duct tape the damn pencil to your hand, do it. Practice practice practice. It might be garbage at first but just keep doing it, fill up page after page after page, copying crap from the paper or whatever. If you're in a really bad way and can't even form the letters but can draw a line, get one of those little kid books with the light letters and just draw over them. Another thing that helped is a little pedal device (you can get them for cheap in many pharmacies in the rehab section) that you can use sitting in a chair to pedal with your feet (assuming you can move that right foot at all) and you can bolt to a table and pedal with your hands/arms, assuming you can move them. If you can't move them, don't give up--get a physical therapists to move them for you, get a relative to see how the process works, and duplicate it. OFTEN.

Don't know if you know the story of Patricia Neal, but she had a massive stroke and came back from it with continuous, relentless physical therapy...the brain is amazing. It CAN rewire--you just have to show it how.

They made a movie about her stroke/recovery for TV thirty some years ago--I was not in USA when they aired it, but relatives remember it as pretty good.

http://www.nytimes.com/1981/12/08/arts/tv-patricia-neal-s-victory-over-crippling-stroke.html

I wish you a full recovery--don't give up, keep pushing. I know it seems hard, but don't give up.

I think I had given up but I'll try to recify that.

I was feeling suicidal but I don't really want to die. I can't take antidepressants so I have to struggle through.

I'll watch the movie. Thank you.

The brain is extraordinarily plastic--it can heal itself but you need to show it the way ASAP. I'd seek out every avenue I could to get more and more physical therapy--volunteer yourself as a guinea pig so that students can practice putting you through the paces--whatever you have to do! If you can't get it from a pro, get family to help you--the trick is to move, move, MOVE.

If you have a relative who can speak with the PTs, they can maybe learn some of the techniques to help you continue on at home. Stretch those 30 days out by doing one session, then a week of copying. Also, if you go to YOUTUBE and punch in Physical Therapy for Right Side Stroke you'll see some PT videos that might help a relative work with you. The hardest bit is getting you up on your pins, walking--if you can get the PT people to get you to the point where you are on a walker, you can do a lot from there--but you must exercise and restore your strength.

Is there a particular reason you can't take ADs? Or are you just leery of them? I'm not a fan of pharmaceuticals either, but I do know some people who are helped by zoloft for short term modulation of their emotional state (and, like I said, that is SO NORMAL and SO EXPECTED after stroke, so don't feel like you're "failing" or anything like that). That zoloft really helped my relative in the early days, certainly. If that doesn't cut it for you, even a bit of passionflower tea might not hurt, either--passionflower seems to reduce cares--I call it "fuckitall!"

Just don't quit. I know it's hard, but just do not quit. You've got a lot of life yet to enjoy--and you do want to enjoy it, so 'gird your loins' as they say in the swashbucklers, and get to it. I'm rooting for you~!

I can't take ADs because I have interstitial cystitis and they make me bladder hurt. I'll look up videos and work on things.

I called a patient advocate and am waiting to hear from her.

Have you heard of a supplement called D-Mannose? I have a sibling who SWEARS by it. It's said to help with that and other bladder conditions, and it's benign. Here's some info:

http://healinginterstitialcystitis.com/d-mannose-for-ic/

I did not see the original thread, but have no doubt it is there. Primary season always brings out the worst in these haters.

Sorry about your Father. That really does "suck" as you say.

and your stroke - that sucks as well.

Here's to a brighter future . . .

sooner than later. I appreciate your reply.

Condolences on the death of your Dad along with everything else. I think you need a hug...not that it solves anything but it does feel good.



My son was laid off yesterday and it looks like it could be until end of Dec or so before he is called back. We can't afford his COBRA and his unemployment is high enough that he doesn't qualify for any help of any description. So...I'm not at all sure what we'll be dealing with in the healthcare area but hope it's affordable and useable for him.

All my best to you...chin up, we're hear anytime you need us!

It's a qualifying event that lets him start an exchange plan now instead of next year.

It won't necessarily be more affordable, but it wasn't clear from your post that you guys have looked at that.

He figures it will cost $500 to $600 per month. Even at $300 per month it will be unaffordable...which means he'll probably go without and hope for the best. We'll see...

Thanks for your input.

about your son's job. I hope he gets called back soon. Thanks for being here.

Even when there isn't anything anyone can do to make life less sucky, it helps to know you're among friends.

Hope your day is a good one!

My "wonderful" employer-based insurance is a high-deductible HSA plan. If I was single, the deductible would "only" be $2k. Because I have a wife and kids, it's $4k. I'm the only one who needs any medical treatment. The rest of the family are just getting checkups that do not apply to that deductible. So I get to spend that deductible every year on myself.

It's not fun. Nowhere near as "not fun" as a stroke and grieving though.

I'm sorry that times are tough right now. And I'm sorry we're not done on the fight for a decent healthcare system. We will get through it, on both fronts.

hanging in. I understand the $4000 deductible except mine is just for me. My husband is older and has medicare.

You've got one in your local area--they are everywhere. Call the nearest Catholic church, they can direct you.

If you have a need, they will do what they can to help, and they're not going to make you read the bible, say you love Jesus, or go to church. If you ever hit the lottery, they wouldn't turn away a donation.

Seriously--that might be your best bet. The other option is to go to a public hospital, and when they bill you, pay them ten bucks a month, and keep sending them a letter with your payment saying you can't afford to send more. Maybe they'll write it off.

I'll check into it.

but I am sorry for all you are going through. It sucks, it really does.

It is silly/touchy season. Making a mistake can get you ridiculed big time. It is not personal, it is jumpy people that are angry..at least that is what I think.

It should not be like this, we should have health care as a right. I hope it eases up for you soon. As to losing your Dad, I am so sorry. That is a hard one. Take care of yourself.

MuseRider. It's been a rough year.

I agree, it's silly season.

...this place is being infiltrated and slowly turning into Discussionist in many ways (if you've been there, you know what I mean) and people will pounce on a typo or mis-worded phrase and all of a sudden you're under the bus, castigated, excoriated, outcast, blackballed, and a republicon ball shiner. All I did was make an observation or two on the TTW thing and I'm an asshole for stomping on someone when they're down. We see how that turned out. I don't expect any apologies from those that called me down for simply asking a question before I just throw money at an internet persona. Just let that bullshit slide right off of you, ohheckyeah. You have enough problems to worry about without that crap. I know this doesn't help much, but do us a favor and hang in there as best you can and I'm certainly routing for you to overcome your current challenges, and for a time to come when the pain of losing your dad isn't so fresh and raw. Much love to you, OHY.

just like being hateful. I read the whole ttw saga and it got nasty, especially for those who questioned or made observations that weren't popular.

I, too, missed the post you referenced here, but I offer condolences on the passing of your dad, and I really, really, really hope life starts treating you more kindly.

OneGrassRoot.

Kairos12.

for you right now.

Who has never made a mistake on a post? For cryin' out loud, don't let it get to you.

It seems a lot of us have gotten to the age where parents--and even friends our age--
are facing serious disease and death. I have lost several friends my age--64--in the last
year. And I just learned last night that another friend was transported by ambulance
from elsewhere in the state to near here to be evaluated for a lung transplant.

I am so sorry your life is full of so much pain. I hope things improve for you.

Sending a cyberhug...

but Republicans keep whining about taxes and people keep voting for them...Christian nation my tail feathers!

I agree that there has to be a better solution than the ACA. It was definitely a step in the right direction and one that would not have happened if it weren't for President Obama but there is a lot more to do to help all Americans.

I'm also sorry that you were not treated more sympathetically on your first post. As DrDan said, primary season does seem to bring out the worst in people.

My condolences on the loss of your father and wishing you brighter days ahead.

Sometimes it all is just too much. I pray things get better for you.

With my recent gall bladder surgery (after 5 years of "attacks&quot , we wiped out about 8 years of my husbands deposits into his health savings account. We live on a similar income as yours. I keep telling my husband and our youngest daughter who is on the policy they need to get sick before Christmas since we have met the deductible for this year!

When I start to get too depressed about money, I try to focus on things like the trees and the wonderful birds at the bird feeder. Those things are priceless! It's hard to do that, but I hope you can find something that brings you some joy!

Peace!!!

I am sorry for your loss, sorry for your stroke. May you recover emotionally and physically.

We should be supporting each other here, not tearing each other down. If you made a mistake, no one should be nitpicking you. Some nasty things are being done here lately.

As the responses to your post demonstrates.

Wishing you the best.

vibes for healing and peace...

Sending you all the good energy I can muster. Very sorry about your Father and the health issues. Wish we had single payer Medicare for all. It is horrific that in the US we don't have truly affordable healthcare for all.

Hoping we can change that for you and everyone struggling in the US.

It's age, I'm sure, but it's so frustrating. And life just isn't very forgiving. Or it's the poeple in our lives sometimes.

I'm so sorry for your loss and your health concerns. I know this won't help you now, but the higher costs of the exchanges might help Bernie get us single payer if he's elected. There are still too many uninsured and under-insured in this country, or living on so little they can't use the health care they have (or it doesn't cover what they need, like dental and vision).

We really really need something to happen here.

Hang in there.

Condolences on the death of your dad.

Sending extra good vibes your way !!!

I hope you get well soon.

People on this site can sometimes be worse than attack dogs.

Just ignore the hate.

having insurance. The copays and deductibles suck and most doctors here won't accept it. The ACA pays so little and the paperwork is too much for them to deal with. The system is stacked against those who can't afford basic care.

My uncle was a victim of no insurance so I understand where you're come from. I can only pray and hope that your situation gets better. Haters come a dime a dozen, but family is once in a lifetime. May peace and stability flow into your life!

Try not to take exchanges in this forum or anywhere on the internet personally ~ people have no idea what you're dealing with and should stick to their knittin' - just sayin'.

love it!

Stick to knitting - lol.

You're a good person and your physical troubles can't take that away from you. The forums are slowly moving to a new equilibrium and I think/hope you'll soon find then to be more pleasant. There's always friendly people in The DU Lounge!

http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=forum&id=1018

I hope something can work out for you soon. How much do you think you need to have x-rays??? Can you CrowdFund?
Life does tend to suck when you are ill and loose a parent and all. I totally get it. Talk to us.

They're here to get a rise from people, so just ignore the jerks. They likely have miserable lives and seek only to bring others down to their level.

more than I can put into words.

Your kindness got me though a very rough day.

I'm not sure what the x-rays and possible MRI will cost, but I'll figure it out.

I hope you will feel better soon and that your emotions will change for the better. You did nothing wrong. May your father rest in peace.

Don't let some heartless people on the internet get to you, there are far more good people who do sympathize with you.

Take care of yourself, we need Single Payer, meantime I hope you find a way to get the care you need.

My own income is about $14,000, and I've been rocked with some expenses lately.

Emergency EGD the day after Thanksgiving (of all days) - $1,500 or so
car repair - $800 or so
dental work - $1,800 or so

Two of those were sorta voluntary. I could have junked the car (but my dogs love it) and I could have postponed the dental work (in fact, I had been postponing it since like a year ago January)

Then I got slammed with another emergency EGD about eight weeks ago. Another $1,600 or so. That was the one that really hurt. On top of all the others,

But I can afford it (although I started cutting some expenses too (not that many though, sorta just got back from my mom's 80th birthday party, a trip that cost about $200 (plus being in Wisconsin, I loaded up with about $100 of tax free groceries (that doesn't even sound like very many groceries to me, but it's about a year's worth of rice and pasta))

Sorry about the suckitude, and I am not ready to lose a parent either, or have a stroke (sheesh, who ever IS?) but at least there is a WE. That's something.

in medical bills so far and owe $3000 + in addition. Truck broke down $500, mower broke down $300, tires on car and truck had to be replaced $1200 (we need both because we live in the country and need the truck and need the car to help my 88 year old mother doesn't drive.) The freezer broke down, too, which obviosly we need $250. All this in a year. We didn,t have that much savings. My husband is on SS and I can no longer work. We have a mortgage payment and our electricity is an expensive cooperative.

My husband is ten years older than I am and we have to get help sometimes and have to pay for it. Not to mention we used most of our savings for replacing our roof before all this happened ($3800). We don't have a big or extravagant house and it is a bad time to sell.

If you made 14K p.a. you've enumerated at least five months of your annual salary in that post...?



Do you live rent free?

I have not rented since about 1993 when I bought my own building on a land contract. (I sold that building in 1998 and bought another one that I sold for a huge loss in 2001 and so on and so forth). My house has been paid for since October 2005 (although I still owed some money on a credit card at that time (but hey, that loan was 3% for the life of the loan)

Hard for me to say what I make in a year. First, because my hours fluctuate, and second, because the federal government does not consider my health insurance costs to be income, nor my retirement costs. My last paycheck says $11,281.24 in gross earnings for the year but $7,714.44 for taxable earnings. Health insurance normally takes 24 payments of $160.47 but they took $510 extra this year because they charged me too little for part of last year. So they have taken $2,757.55 and dental has taken $138.9 and retirement has taken $670.35.

So, if I talk about MY income, should it be taxable income or gross income?

I am not pretending that I am living on my income, I am living on my savings from years past, but I have never made $38,000 either, and often have made much less. http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002625762

If your mortgage/rent was $2K a month, that would mean you'd need an additional $24K to get through the year--and that's before home maintenance, taxes, heat, light, gas, cable.

And the more you make, the more you pay for health insurance. That's just how the game is structured.

I have a relative who is disabled, and is on disability, and pays nothing for health care--but has gotten some of the best care in the world. "Lucky" him--his life is nothing but constant budgeting. Frugality isn't a lifestyle, it's a necessity.

If ohheckyeah had a free place to live, I'm sure she'd be feeling less pressure, too. Also, her income amount is shared between at least TWO people, not one.

I don't think your finger wagging at her is helpful at all. Particularly if you have savings to fall back on, and she might not.

I have no house payment - because I planned it that way when I bought the house in November 2001. I got a 5/1 ARM planning to pay it off in less than 5 years. Then I got fired in March 2002. By March, though, I had already paid an extra $2,200 on the principle of my loan.

In early August 2002, I got a part time job, making $235 a week, gross. That was about all I made until May 2004 when I finally got hired full time.

My earnings report says
1999 - $14,520
2000 - $16,153
2001 - $17,464
2002 - $10,617
2003 - $13,891
2004 - $19,704
2005 - $24,120

So, yeah, $38,000 does sound like a fair amount of money to me. Even for two people. One thing about two people is - I could fit two more people in this house where I lived. Again, I wanted this biggish house because I was planning to get married.

More of a hope than a plan, but a second person would not double my expenses, not even close.

If somebody has a $2,000 house payment, then presumably they are living in a very nice house. They are then richer than somebody who only (like myself) had a $225 house payment.

It seems to me that people often do that - spend their money to live well. Which is their right, of course, but then they complain 'I don't have enough money'. (Note I am not talking about the OP, just your example of a $2,000 a month house payment, which to me sounds like somebody is buying the Taj Mahal.)

Finger wagging or not, I happen to believe in this Kantian absolute - people should have a fair amount of savings to weather the storms of life.

It's not always possible. Sometimes people get hit and hit and hit again, and some people simply do not make enough money, but it's still, I think, an absolute. Important to try, to plan, to keep safe as much as possible.

needing x-rays, where would you be?


Or if your "2nd person" needed hospitalization, medication, home health care assistance, and doctor visits, or even major dental work...where would you be?

Screwed, is my assessment.


If you live in a major metropolitan region, a $2K (mortgage and homeowner's insurance) house payment will get you a very "average" house. Nothing fancy at all.

http://www.zillow.com/homes/for_sale/New-York-NY/pmf,pf_pt/house_type/2101359877_zpid/6181_rid/1_pnd/41.068998,-73.305588,40.34131,-74.651413_rect/9_zm/

Does that look like the Taj Mahal to you?

I think you might want to spend some of your savings on compassion lessions. That just might be money well spent.

the fact that people cannot afford to use their "insurance" just completely SUCKS

We can really look at health outcomes and see how much progress has been made. But from my experience with the ACA personally and among the people I know, this is a success on paper but isn't going to have a serious impact on the US's pathetic measures of public health versus the countries we like to think of as peers.

Sure, some people are getting some benefit (including me - insured for the first time in several years, fortunately I'm in good health but any serious probs with me or my spouse and we'd be in deep shit given our deductibles). But if this is the 'best we could do' as I hear all the time, then we're in deeper shit than most here will admit.

Single fucking payer. Medicare for ALL. NOW.

That really sucks, and don't worry about what the jerks here think. There are plenty of good people here, just like anywhere. Take care!

I can't afford my co pays since heritage care went into effect either. Six years until Medicare, unless Hillary and the republicans kill or privatise it.

Now I have to figure out how to cover the other 20%.

"Better than nothing" is not good public policy.

point but it isn't really wise as policy at all because in the final analysis it is just an 80/20 plan that requires lots of subsidization that has no maximum out of pocket.

Now, as far as what is going on here, so sorry about that too. There are times I no longer recognize this place that used to be a haven for so many of us. Ignore the jerks and know that the majority of posters here are good, compassionate people who can empathize with a fellow DU-er going through a rough patch. Wishing you a speedy break in your run of bad situations.

and I am sorry for your loss (of your dad) and the health problems. All I can offer you is a hug and some good vibes and thoughts. One day at a time, it's about all you can do.

The struggles you are enduring now are catastrophic. That may seem like a simplistic take on your situation, but it is worth you remembering to help you get through it. Are you anywhere near eligibility for Medicare?

In the meanwhile, while I didn't see the offensive post, I think you can see plenty of goodness on this thread. My condolences to you on the loss of your father. I lost my dad on May 29 so understand completely how that makes for an unwelcome traumatic summer. As far as your stroke, having had one myself last month, I can assure you, with time, you will get better. The fact that you are able to express yourself so well in writing shows you have your cognition. And did you use 2 hands to do all this typing? That's a very good sign you'll recover the use of your right arm.

Meanwhile, know that most DUers are very sympathetic to the ordeals you are experiencing, and we want to assist you with cyber support, and if agreeable to you, financial help as well.

I am so sorry for the loss of your dad. I truly understand the pain.

I am close to Medicare if I get it with Sicial Security - I'm eligible in December. I turn 62 on the 15th.


I'm typing with one hand - my non dominant left hand. My fingers are in spasm and won't straighten out. My leg is worse as I have pain in my groin from spasms and my knee buckles.

I appreciate the support so much. I have been so down and the docs aren't listening to the fact the spasm medicine hasn't worked for a year. If it weren't for my husband and mom I wouldn't be here. I just can't take this pain on what I had before the stroke.

I hate to ask for financial help, as I've taken care of myself since I was 18. I don't know how to ask for help.

I can't tell you how your and others kindness has touched my heart. Thank you.

If you don't have an actual hot water bottle (who does, anymore?) a 2 liter soda bottle filled with very warm water, wrapped in a towel will do--hold it on your lap and see if it helps the spasms. Can you take any OTC meds, like advil, tylenol or aleve? Ask your doctor--those might help the pain as well. As for your spasm meds (what do they have you on? Soma, which is highly addictive, or something else?) maybe ask them if they can switch you to something generic and old school, like flexeril--cheaper and often more effective. But maybe you can make it work with OTC meds.

As for asking for help, here's something that might help you--people LIKE to be wanted and needed. It feeds their soul. And for some a simple thank you is worth more than gold. By taking help from others, you are actually giving them something. I don't get paid to take people to doctor's appointments or to the grocery or the voting booth--it feels good to help. So let people help. The ones who enjoy it and who will keep helping you are getting something out of it, trust me, I know.

And the bottom line is this--once you're up out of that chair, you can return the favor. And I'm sure you will.

baclofen even though it's never worked. I'm talking to a patient advocate tomorrow because Carilion has let me be in pain for a year. I don't want narcotics but they act like there is only one drug for pain, gabapentin and one muscle relaxer, baclofen. They care more about typing on their computers than the patient. Not ONE has touched me to feel the spasms.

The OTc meds can cause a stroke.

I will try a hot water bottle as the heating pad doesn't help much.

I've heard that people can build up a tolerance to it.

You do NOT deserve to be in pain. I hope you get a good advocate--you deserve one. If you keep pushing for non-narcotic solutions (they're probably shocked that people don't WANT to be drugged to the gills) they might take you seriously. I hope they do.

Maybe they could try a TENS unit with you? Or a "spinal cord pacemaker?" https://baptisthealth.net/baptist-health-news/spinal-cord-pacemaker-reduces-chronic-back-pain/ That's a drug free solution--it worked like a miracle for Jerry Lewis. This little video tells his story with pain:

Sorry about the loss of your father.

I've been on DU since 2004 and was a lurker beginning in 2001. In my opinion, I've never seen as much snarkiness as I see daily on DU now. There are some posters who seem to only post in order to put someone else down. Gone are the solid discussions about real issues. Those discussions have been replaced with a "you never know what you're going to get" menagerie of posts, some on topic and others completely unrelated to what was posted originally. Some completely self-serving to whatever cause a poster may find amenable to them at that particular moment.

I hope you won't let the actions of a few keep you from staying on DU and helping turn it back to what it once was!

stay. This thread has renewed my faith in nice people. Thanks!