Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member Latest Breaking News General Discussion The DU Lounge All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

Zorro

(15,749 posts)
Tue Aug 25, 2015, 10:01 AM Aug 2015

Sentiment Building to Deport Nation’s Billionaires

THE HAMPTONS (The Borowitz Report)—They don’t pay taxes. They circumvent our laws. They get free stuff from the government. They are America’s billionaires, and many would like to see them gone.

According to a new survey by the University of Minnesota’s Opinion Research Institute, the American people hold the nation’s billionaires in lower esteem than ever before, and a majority would like to see new laws enacted to deport them.

“They come here, take thousands of our jobs, and export them overseas,” one respondent said, in an opinion echoed by many others in the survey.

“They are part of a shadow economy that sucks billions of dollars out of the United States every year and puts it in Switzerland and the Caymans,” another said.

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/sentiment-building-to-deport-nations-billionaires

30 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
Sentiment Building to Deport Nation’s Billionaires (Original Post) Zorro Aug 2015 OP
Oh Noes! You don't want them to "go Galt"! DetlefK Aug 2015 #1
The GOOD news is that you'll still have people like me to bet up on... brooklynite Aug 2015 #2
We wouldn't want them separated sunnystarr Aug 2015 #3
They sound pretty "illegal" to me. Per Donald's immigrant advice, let's deport 'em all then pampango Aug 2015 #4
I wrote a short story where the eager little billionaires were off to a new planet fasttense Aug 2015 #5
As Shakespeare said (paraphrasing), "Many a truth is said in jest." closeupready Aug 2015 #6
Deportation? No thanks, many of us need the protein fbc Aug 2015 #7
If I could I'd send them here with no supplies. Attu Island. hobbit709 Aug 2015 #8
Ooh...make a Reality TV show Billionaire Island demwing Aug 2015 #11
With Exciting Immunity Challenges Like... paparush Aug 2015 #20
"Last billionaire standing" whathehell Aug 2015 #27
Good idea. Wonder where they would choose to go? jwirr Aug 2015 #9
I hear the outer moons of Jupiter are lovely hifiguy Aug 2015 #21
Did you see that article on the home page regarding their organizing some jwirr Aug 2015 #23
Build a wall demwing Aug 2015 #10
Yep, why can't Google, Amazon, eBay etc. all just relocate up the coast to Vancouver? Nye Bevan Aug 2015 #12
No kidding! Who needs to work anyway. leftofcool Aug 2015 #26
Gotta love Borowitz! n/t Gore1FL Aug 2015 #13
Sentiment Building to Deport Nation’s Billionaires The CCC Aug 2015 #14
That would have essentially the same effect (nt) Nye Bevan Aug 2015 #15
All those billions yet they talk and type as if they never finished H.S. Rex Aug 2015 #16
i thought borowitz was satire retrowire Aug 2015 #17
Yes! SoapBox Aug 2015 #18
Maybe this is a joke, but... StarzGuy Aug 2015 #19
Andy Borowitz is the New Yorker's resident political satirist hifiguy Aug 2015 #24
a 100% tax on all deposits, bvar22 Aug 2015 #25
I say we simply tax them out of existence. hunter Aug 2015 #22
Yah. Yes. That's fair and succinct. I vote for that. byronius Aug 2015 #29
They use our roads, bridges, stadiums, airports, etc. nm rhett o rick Aug 2015 #28
I have been more in favor of jailing them and clawing back all their money. emsimon33 Aug 2015 #30

DetlefK

(16,423 posts)
1. Oh Noes! You don't want them to "go Galt"!
Tue Aug 25, 2015, 10:06 AM
Aug 2015

Those billionaires keep the economy going, with their expertise how to make steel. Without them, there would be no steel! Never again!

brooklynite

(94,727 posts)
2. The GOOD news is that you'll still have people like me to bet up on...
Tue Aug 25, 2015, 10:08 AM
Aug 2015

I'd hate to have people lose their purpose in life...

sunnystarr

(2,638 posts)
3. We wouldn't want them separated
Tue Aug 25, 2015, 10:17 AM
Aug 2015

from their money. So let's deport them to their tax havens. Everyone should be able to be near what they love the most.

pampango

(24,692 posts)
4. They sound pretty "illegal" to me. Per Donald's immigrant advice, let's deport 'em all then
Tue Aug 25, 2015, 10:29 AM
Aug 2015

let the "good ones" back in.

 

fasttense

(17,301 posts)
5. I wrote a short story where the eager little billionaires were off to a new planet
Tue Aug 25, 2015, 10:32 AM
Aug 2015

Leaving this one for the rset of us to clean up. The one sticking point was the fact that regular people who knew how to cook, farm and wash clothes had to go with them.

We really don't need billionaires. What they do can be done by most anybody despite what Ann Rand would like everyone to believe. Their existance is simply the result of happen chance and capitalism. Capitalism concentrates wealth. It's the nature of the beast. It deprives the majority so that a small minority can live like royalty. It use to be kings and queens who concentrated the wealth in their hands. It's now anyone who inherits wealth. Hardly anyone pulls themselves up by their boot straps even Bill Gates had very wealthy parents (father a high powered lawyer, mother a hospital administrator) and STOLE computer time from his Mom's hospital in order to learn enough about computers before the rest of the world caught on.

Do away with capatalism and the lucky sperm club isn't so lucky.

 

closeupready

(29,503 posts)
6. As Shakespeare said (paraphrasing), "Many a truth is said in jest."
Tue Aug 25, 2015, 10:42 AM
Aug 2015

If they aren't paying taxes, and they aren't holding their assets in the US, but they are demanding US government services, and are demanding the protection of the US military, then how are they different than parasites, feeding off a host state?

Say what you will about Warren Buffett and Bill Gates, but at least they pay taxes and both favor a more progressive income tax system than we have today.

 

demwing

(16,916 posts)
11. Ooh...make a Reality TV show Billionaire Island
Tue Aug 25, 2015, 11:48 AM
Aug 2015

put a bunch of billionaires together on a deserted island with nothing to eat except their piles of $100 bills.

Last billionaire standing gets to pay the taxes of all those who went before...

paparush

(7,964 posts)
20. With Exciting Immunity Challenges Like...
Tue Aug 25, 2015, 12:56 PM
Aug 2015

Taking out the trash
Cooking their own meal
Washing their own clothes
Spending time with their children

How will these billionaires fare? Who will survive? Tune in and find out!

 

hifiguy

(33,688 posts)
21. I hear the outer moons of Jupiter are lovely
Tue Aug 25, 2015, 01:26 PM
Aug 2015

at this time of year.

Not sure if it's far enough away, though.

jwirr

(39,215 posts)
23. Did you see that article on the home page regarding their organizing some
Tue Aug 25, 2015, 03:59 PM
Aug 2015

kind of space research and colonization? I just laughed when I saw it.

Nye Bevan

(25,406 posts)
12. Yep, why can't Google, Amazon, eBay etc. all just relocate up the coast to Vancouver?
Tue Aug 25, 2015, 11:50 AM
Aug 2015

I have a feeling that Canada would be quite happy to take them.

 

Rex

(65,616 posts)
16. All those billions yet they talk and type as if they never finished H.S.
Tue Aug 25, 2015, 12:28 PM
Aug 2015

I guess you don't need a diploma or well rounded education to be filthy rich.

StarzGuy

(254 posts)
19. Maybe this is a joke, but...
Tue Aug 25, 2015, 12:54 PM
Aug 2015

...I say deport those who aren't American citizens and include a deportation tax at 100% of all deposits held anywhere. Hahaha

 

hifiguy

(33,688 posts)
24. Andy Borowitz is the New Yorker's resident political satirist
Tue Aug 25, 2015, 04:04 PM
Aug 2015

and a former president of the Harvard Lampoon, FYI.

hunter

(38,326 posts)
22. I say we simply tax them out of existence.
Tue Aug 25, 2015, 02:00 PM
Aug 2015

100% tax of anything over some multiple less than twenty of the minimum wage, 100% tax of wealth over some multiple less than twenty of the minimum wealth.

The wealthiest guy in the city has a big house, a fancy car, can afford the latest trendy fashion items, maybe has a vacation cottage on some distant beach, while the poorest disabled or unemployable person in the city still lives within walking distance of the wealthy person's mansion, in a safe, comfortable apartment, provided freely whatever medical care or supervision they require.

A retired hotel housekeeper, for example, might have a nice small house, and her grandkids would attend the same schools as the wealthy person's grandkids, and she would sometimes meet the wealthiest person at the grocery store or in the public park where they might chat about life and politics or just the weather.

emsimon33

(3,128 posts)
30. I have been more in favor of jailing them and clawing back all their money.
Wed Aug 26, 2015, 06:12 AM
Aug 2015

Leaving their families and relatives left to work jobs paying $7.25 an hour. Jailed for life without hope of parole.

Latest Discussions»General Discussion»Sentiment Building to Dep...