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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsHow do you discuss politics with your family members?
You see I have a sister. She used to be a Democrat when she was in college but she moved to a small town with my very right wing fundamentalist Christian cousin. Now all I ever hear from her is how secularism is evil or that President Obama is a jackass. She also talks over me whenever I try to point out anything positive President Obama has done while in office. I just stopped talking politics with her unless she brings it up but when she does bring it up if I try to defend something the President has done that I agree with she talks over me. It is so frustrating. So DU how do you deal with it?
ChisolmTrailDem
(9,463 posts)Also, my experience with the over talking is the same as yours. They believe what they stupidly believe and they don't want to hear anything contrary to what they believe, even if it's completely wrong.
virtualobserver
(8,760 posts)in my case these were cousins.........they couldn't keep from talking about it - It was like trying to deal with people who had a severe mental illness....
It was the very worst of the Religious right wing nonsense......Obama was literally the antichrist.
ZM90
(706 posts)No I am not kidding and my sister is somebody who was a Democrat when she was in college.
virtualobserver
(8,760 posts)at the root of that is the belief that Obama is pretending to be Christian which makes him fundamentally insincere.
The only way to undermine that belief is to go one level deeper. You cannot argue just the facts.
You must undermine the credibility of those who filled her head with this nonsense. You can't argue that
Obama isn't a Muslim. You have to argue that those people who say he is are deliberately lying because of x.
X can be racism, their own economic agenda.....etc......and you have to present other evidence of their willingness
to lie....by proving that they lie about other things, you can break the frame.
davidpdx
(22,000 posts)It's too bad because it sounds like she was more liberal in college. I hate to say it, but I agree with others. You'll just have to avoid talking about it.
My mom and I agree on most everything except abortion, which she is anti-choice. We simply can't have a conversation about that, but can talk about most anything else. She still votes for a Democrat despite her stance.
I have a friend who's mother is a Teahadist (as well as a Prepper) and watches Fox 24/7. My friend is a liberal Democrat. When he goes home he has to hear all the new talking points about how Obama is ruining the country and he is going to put people into FEMA camps. I actually tell him (maybe a bit facetiously) when he goes home to keep a running list for me so he can fill me on all the talking points when he comes back to Asia.
Galileo126
(2,016 posts)Like you, ZM90, my sister moved from RI (heavily democratic) to SC (heavily RW nutjob). She's been insufferable every since, and the older she gets, the worse it becomes.
I hardly talk to her anymore, since no matter what conversation we are having, she goes into RW tirades.
Whatayagonnado? I just ignore her now, sadly.
cherokeeprogressive
(24,853 posts)I'm lucky that way I guess.
R. P. McMurphy
(836 posts)Jim Beard
(2,535 posts)but my opinion of them is greatly reduced and I find more reasons not to attend their gathering or those they attend. I just shut them off from my life.
Blue_In_AK
(46,436 posts)I don't have to deal with the extended ones who aren't because I only see them on Facebook where I can ignore them.
hatrack
(59,592 posts)The only hopeful sign I've seen in years is MIL's open revulsion at Trump, and the deafening silence from the remainder on that topic.
I never broach the topic. Never, but that doesn't prevent them from doing so, at which point I typically leave, or find something better to do.
KentuckyWoman
(6,692 posts)Some are such blowhards I just let them bloviate and stay quite. Letting them get the stupid out and moving on makes for a more enjoyable time. Others we have some disagreements but can have a respectful conversation. Yet others we have more agreement than disagreement so it's pretty easy.
Hortensis
(58,785 posts)and when an issue is raised, listen quietly and attentively at length (let her run herself down), then calmly explain that to you doing X is a moral issue because Y. Use the KISS principle with emphasis on morality and principles. If you can throw in an orphaned baby seal or dying child of hardworking Christian fundamentalist parents to make it real to her, great.
Don't argue -- at all -- because that only deepens resistance and resets the conversation to 3-2-1-0-and-go! until you're both tearing at your hair. Just work up those brief, well-worded explanations of your own positions and state each once. And then go back to listening pleasantly until the subject can be changed.
This is the advice I followed after moving to the Deep South from California, and it works far better than quoting facts and figures.
Samantha
(9,314 posts)I am the only liberal in my family (except for my daughter). My immediate family are all Republicans, leaning heavily to the right. I did argue on issues for years until the day it dawned on me -- it didn't matter if my arguments were correct, it didn't matter that the candidates on the right for the most part were hypocrites, immoral, stupid, whatever. Nothing mattered except the effort to propel another right-wing, extremist, trickle down politician into the Oval Office - absolutely nothing.
And so I shut up, refuse to even discuss politics when someone brings something up, and I write instead. My blood pressure is normal again.
There is no winning with arguing politics with family members. Just thought I would pass this along for your consideration.
Sam
Dont call me Shirley
(10,998 posts)Ex Lurker
(3,816 posts)They usually afford me the same courtesy.
ileus
(15,396 posts)If they disagree or believe different than I, I don't try and force them to stop being dumb. I don't let thin skin keep me from family...
sarisataka
(18,770 posts)So it is pretty easy
dixiegrrrrl
(60,010 posts)and rarely.