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Blue_Tires

(55,445 posts)
Sat Oct 17, 2015, 06:29 PM Oct 2015

Famous quotes, the way a woman would have to say them during a meeting.

“A few weeks ago at work,” Jennifer Lawrence wrote in an essay for Lenny (yup, I guess I’m subscribed to Lenny now! Well played, Lena Dunham). “I spoke my mind and gave my opinion in a clear and no-[BS] way; no aggression, just blunt. The man I was working with (actually, he was working for me) said, ‘Whoa! We’re all on the same team here!’ As if I was yelling at him. I was so shocked because nothing that I said was personal, offensive, or, to be honest, wrong. All I hear and see all day are men speaking their opinions, and I give mine in the same exact manner, and you would have thought I had said something offensive.”

Nailed it.

“Woman in a Meeting” is a language of its own.

It should not be, but it is. You will think that you have stated the case simply and effectively, and everyone else will wonder why you were so Terrifyingly Angry. Instead, you have to translate. You start with your thought, then you figure out how to say it as though you were offering a groveling apology for an unspecified error. (In fact, as Sloane Crosley pointed out in an essay earlier this year, the time you are most likely to say “I’m sorry” is the time when you feel that you, personally, have just been grievously wronged. Not vice versa.)

To illustrate this difficulty, I have taken the liberty of translating some famous sentences into the phrases a woman would have to use to say them during a meeting not to be perceived as angry, threatening or (gasp!) bitchy.

“Give me liberty, or give me death.”
Woman in a Meeting: “Dave, if I could, I could just — I just really feel like if we had liberty it would be terrific, and the alternative would just be awful, you know? That’s just how it strikes me. I don’t know.”

https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/compost/wp/2015/10/13/jennifer-lawrence-has-a-point-famous-quotes-the-way-a-woman-would-have-to-say-them-during-a-meeting/?tid=pm_opinions_pop_b

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Famous quotes, the way a woman would have to say them during a meeting. (Original Post) Blue_Tires Oct 2015 OP
Just take the reigns & ignore us. MasonDreams Oct 2015 #1
I'll go along with that as long as it's not Debbie Wasserman Schultz BlueJazz Oct 2015 #2
To start, I'm going to correct your spelling of "reins." Arugula Latte Oct 2015 #9
I did, of course, spell it that way as a double meaning. MasonDreams Oct 2015 #14
Post removed Post removed Oct 2015 #12
Wow. We need to stop doing this. Chemisse Oct 2015 #3
I prefer it when women bluntly say what they really mean. dawg Oct 2015 #4
Heh! ismnotwasm Oct 2015 #5
You haven't met my significant other... Fairgo Oct 2015 #6
This is so true. Blue_In_AK Oct 2015 #7
“I came. I saw. I conquered.” awoke_in_2003 Oct 2015 #8
My wife was quite upfront about what she had to say. hobbit709 Oct 2015 #10
"We came, we saw, he died". Wasn't a woman roundly criticized here for saying that? Nye Bevan Oct 2015 #11
The criticism was based on the substance. Jim Lane Oct 2015 #15
It sad that women have to act like they have social anxiety disorder to be heard in a meeting (nt) LostOne4Ever Oct 2015 #13
This is actually really fucked up. LeftyMom Oct 2015 #16
thanks, really f#* up is right MasonDreams Oct 2015 #17

MasonDreams

(756 posts)
1. Just take the reigns & ignore us.
Sat Oct 17, 2015, 06:53 PM
Oct 2015

Men are stupid I know, 'cause I am one. Men have taken us as far as we can. Now the fairer sex must take charge. We, men, need help. No negitaves no sarcasm no joke. Women are better @communication and consensus building. If our planet doesnt get more women in charge soon we're all cooked.

MasonDreams

(756 posts)
14. I did, of course, spell it that way as a double meaning.
Sun Oct 18, 2015, 03:04 AM
Oct 2015

Rain some more criticism. Empowering women could really be a big help everywhere. Not just where they are most abused.

Response to MasonDreams (Reply #1)

Chemisse

(30,811 posts)
3. Wow. We need to stop doing this.
Sat Oct 17, 2015, 07:35 PM
Oct 2015

Many women have been raised and conditioned to believe that what we have to contribute is minimal, that our voices are not as important as the male voices in the room.

I really don't know if it is like this for girls now, but when I was a teenager, what I had to say was very important - boys would be riveted upon my every word - as long as sex appeared to be a possibility. Otherwise, I had little to no value (outside of an ongoing relationship). That is a powerful message, more so than any exploitive commercial or thin-waisted Barbie doll.

Who cares if we look like the office bitch? We need to speak out as freely as men do, and let the chips fall where they may. That is the only way to gain respect and equality in our work environments.

dawg

(10,624 posts)
4. I prefer it when women bluntly say what they really mean.
Sat Oct 17, 2015, 07:41 PM
Oct 2015

I'm often not clever enough to read between the lines.

ismnotwasm

(41,976 posts)
5. Heh!
Sat Oct 17, 2015, 07:46 PM
Oct 2015
“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”
Woman in a Meeting: “I have to say — I’m sorry — I have to say this. I don’t think we should be as scared of non-fear things as maybe we are? If that makes sense? Sorry, I feel like I’m rambling.”

Fairgo

(1,571 posts)
6. You haven't met my significant other...
Sat Oct 17, 2015, 08:01 PM
Oct 2015

or any of her friends, or the women who run things where I work. But then again, I was raised by wolves and "bitch" was a job title. Power is not given freely. It is taken. Language is appropriated, you have to claim your words. If your speech presents as weak in mind and spirit, it becomes your weakness. What the feminist movement has revealed is a different approach to power that is at first in conflict with the traditional patriarchy, grown arrogant in isolation. Ultimately the voices of gender experience are complimentary. Getting to equity in discourse is the battle. Assuming the diminutive voice assigned to the feminine role is not the winning strategy. Stand up, speak up, act up. The men are slowly learning.

 

awoke_in_2003

(34,582 posts)
8. “I came. I saw. I conquered.”
Sat Oct 17, 2015, 10:44 PM
Oct 2015

Woman in a Meeting: “I don’t want to toot my own horn here at all but I definitely have been to those places and was just honored to be a part of it as our team did such a wonderful job of conquering them.”

hobbit709

(41,694 posts)
10. My wife was quite upfront about what she had to say.
Sat Oct 17, 2015, 10:58 PM
Oct 2015

And she didn't mince words. Her two favorite words were shit and fuck and she used them very creatively.

I think Tom Petty's I Won't Back Down was one of her favorite songs.

Nye Bevan

(25,406 posts)
11. "We came, we saw, he died". Wasn't a woman roundly criticized here for saying that?
Sat Oct 17, 2015, 11:35 PM
Oct 2015

Damned if you do, damned if you don't....

 

Jim Lane

(11,175 posts)
15. The criticism was based on the substance.
Sun Oct 18, 2015, 03:23 AM
Oct 2015

"I just think it should be noted -- I know everyone here is aware of it, but maybe it's worth pointing out that there was an American intervention, and if I'm not mistaken it was accompanied by some gathering of intelligence, and subsequently the former leader there passed away, and perhaps we can consider pointing out these facts if there's any criticism."

If she had said it that way it would still be objectionable.

LeftyMom

(49,212 posts)
16. This is actually really fucked up.
Sun Oct 18, 2015, 03:34 AM
Oct 2015

First of all it's assuming that there's a right way to say something and a wrong way and the female-coded way is inherently the wrong way. This is inherently bigoted and it's especially problematic because women who respond to that framing by speaking in the male-coded way will be attacked as overly masculine or as ball busting bitches.

Second it puts the focus on the people with less power for not speaking correctly rather than the empowered people for not listening.

Third, because it's taking declarative, overly dramatic phrases (at least some of which are historically suspect) and inserting them into a space where they'd be ridiculous and unhelpful. Business meetings are for hashing out ideas, so questioning phrases and drawing people out are appropriate and helpful communication skills. Bombastic phrases really don't belong and aren't especially helpful, unless said meeting takes place at halftime and you happen to be a football coach. Even then you need to discuss ideas about how to stop the run before you start shouting Harbaugh-grade inspirational nonsense.

MasonDreams

(756 posts)
17. thanks, really f#* up is right
Sun Oct 18, 2015, 07:51 AM
Oct 2015

Especially because Jennifer Lawrence is a very good role model for young women. She plays a champion gladiator in a future utopia who starts a revolution!! Young people love the books and movies!! Assertive confident strong in #s too big to ignore. Women! Help us out with these twisted men like Trump, king saud, Kim ill sick. I know we can do better. The United Nations has said so and they've looked around a bit. Empowering women is the most progressive move.

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