Grrrraaaaahhhhhhhh!

Ugh. Just ugh.

Embarrassing and nauseating.

We have a serious problem in this country and it goes deeper than this social experiment.

Not the US.

It is appalling how sudden Mr. manners turn into Mr. monster when he thinks he has a victim in hand. Correct, this is a global problem or should be right?

An accurate headline would read: "Experiment finds men only interested in sex."

Most males are not real men.

Colloquialisms can be difficult to understand for literalists, I guess (yes, literally a guess on my part-- to help avoid further confusion).

These men don't even deserve to be called men.

They are narcissistic douche bags.

and she wasn't even drunk.

First of all, the guys who try to get her to drink more or take advantage of her in any way are scumbags, but what should a decent human being do to help her?

I guess I would offer my cell phone so she could call a friend or help her get into a taxi. If she doesn't have anyone to call or a safe place to go, what then?

Calling the cops is one answer but I wouldn't want to get her in trouble with the law and in some rare cases, the responding officer(s) may treat her worse than the general public. Don't get me wrong, I'd call the cops before letting some predatory jerk lead her away but that seems like a last resort.

The easy answer would be to ignore her and move on but that may only enable the creeps who want to prey on her.

I'm not the least bit surprised that many men came up with the wrong answer but what is the correct one?

get the phone yourself and arrange for a friend to help. I had to basically follow someone once to make sure they were getting home, and it would not have happened if I didn't. Same shit was going on, guys would have literally picked her up and carried her off if I had allowed it.

I'm so reliant on my cell phone address book that I would be hard pressed to remember any numbers while sober.

Maybe try to find a coffee shop nearby where she could charge her phone but, as a man, I would be somewhat concerned that any attempt by me to get her off of the street could be misconstrued as predatory in itself.

and help getting some coffee in her too. During the day, I'd also help her find a place to buy a charger if she didn't have one. It sucks to have to worry about being a predator for sure, but if you aren't the worse that could happen is a misunderstanding. She is in much more danger than anyone who tries to help her.

I just wouldn't want that concern to stop me from offering to help or prevent her from accepting it.

those are the two common universal things would be rapists do. Even then, you see these guys do exactly that, and no one is stopping them. I would even do the police thing, and just ask them for help charging- and pretend we are acquaintances just so you're not handing her over to strangers.

She chooses to drink excessively, and everyone else is now responsible for her?

needed someone's help once or twice in their lives. Perhaps you haven't? Or prefer she is "punished" by rapists?

I'm saying, for random people walking down the street, they're most likely going to ignore a drunk woman, or the guys that want to take advantage of her will try to do so. If helping her includes strangers taking time out of their own day because of a voluntary choice that she made, where nothing has happened yet, that's asking quite a bit.

I clearly stated that doing nothing was an option but asked how someone willing to help could do so.

If a woman is standing there, drunk, and that's it, who's business is that? She was passive in the experiment. Who is going to go up to her and ask if she needs help out of the blue? Do women just need help all the time in general?

If she was going around asking for help because she was drunk, that's one thing, but there are basically two reactions to this experiment. Ignore her, because you don't even notice she's there and drunk because why would you, or, the guys that will try to take advantage of her.

Why do you think that guys who approached her did so? They recognized that an obviously intoxicated person, alone on a city street could be an easy target.

Most people probably didn't notice her at all but those who did had three choices, ignore her, try to help her or try to take advantage of her.

If you pass someone walking alone on a country road late at night you could choose to keep driving, stop and ask them if they need help or stop and rob them.

I believe that each of those choices can speak volumes about a person's character.

It's a very common thing for predatory men to use social pressure to get their intended victims to drink more than they realize. Not only does it make women more vulnerable, but it also acts as a boundary tester. Women are heavily socialized not to say no to men - it's part of pretty much every culture on earth. Predatory men use that to check whether the victim has problems enforcing boundaries in social situations - and it gives them cover if she gets visibly drunk. Not to mention, I am willing to bet that 99% of all the women on DU can tell a story of how a man got verbally or physically aggressive when they said no, or turned him down. We know what the risks are, and who will be blamed for causing a scene. (Hint, it's not the guy. See also, teen got shot for turning down male friend for the prom and mother of two shot at funeral for turning down a complete stranger.)

If people see women out having a good time, or just living life, doing whatever they do, are random people supposed to check up every half hour? Are you ok? Everything ok? Any men talk to you? Are grown women children?

This experiment was not about helping her in a distressed situation. She was just standing there. One type of person is going to take time out of their day to interact with her like that, and I doubt much, if any, video will be shot of people randomly asking her if she needs help if she's just standing there.

who has been to college has seen vulnerable people in a similar situation.

because I would be concerned for her safety, with good reason

I would help the gal, without trying to come on to her

I remember an incident with a very young gal in Austin......I did not need her to ask for help to know she needed help

My cousin, on the other hand was one of the dudes who would applaud those who prey on incapacitated women. He had no scruples about it at all.

you described you did exactly the right thing.

then getting the phone up and working for her and finding a friend to come help would be the best thing.
I think if you are trying to get them to a crowded, well lit place, and get some coffee/ water/ help from others you're not going to be judged harshly. Even if you are a tremendous asshole and try to give them more booze or get them alone, the worst that happens is someone will fear you are potentially a danger. But it's not as if you're going to be arrested for rape, is it? If the worst danger you're in is a stranger thinking you're a rapey asshole, that's not nearly as worrisome as the position she is in, is it?

You have to love the other poster trying to twist being a decent human being into some awful sexist thing. Jeeze that's selfish and disgusting.

The right answer will certainly vary. Why the confusion?

For all I know the most dangerous predator could be carrying a badge or be behind the wheel of a taxi.

Even a good cop may have to arrest her for her own protection and that could be a double-edged sword.

Hard to say with so many predators walking around in broad daylight.

Second, ask her if she has a female friend you can call to help her.

If not, call a female friend you know to help her.

Last resort, call the local rape hotline. They usually have reliable people on call who are there to help rape victims on a moments notice which means they'll have someone who will help a woman whose in jeopardy of being raped on a moments notice.

My .02



You're a good guy to ask this question.

I had thought of recruiting a female friend or even a stranger to assist but the rape hotline is an option that would have never crossed my mind.

Even if she were taken to jail for public intoxication, it's likely better than being raped or worse in an alley. And given how men were treating this woman, it was WHEN she would be raped, not IF she were raped.

Her odds would be far better with a police officer, and a misdemeanor fine is better than rape, STD's, a pregnancy, or even death.

I would have ignored her. I don't trust people I don't know. She was not asking for help; she was continuing to drink. You never know what people will do, especially when they are drunk. What if you try to help and she refuses, then later gets raped but remembers your face? What if her giant boyfriend comes along and decides you are trying to do something to her? What if it is a set up and her friends are waiting to jump you as soon as you let your guard down?

It is just not worth getting involved.

Phone to call her friends, but she couldn't remember the number.

Just needs to look vulnerable to a predator. Anywhere on the planet.

are potential rapists from the viewpoint of a vulnerable woman?

I know some that for some reason think they are All Men when you bring up the topic. Funny, I only have one name...some I guess are All Men.

It's a favorite of the types who think that feminists hate men.

site search of: men potential rapists

will provide the links.

Three college guys with an obviously drunk and attractive 18-yr old woman, at 1AM on a Friday night, who we're more carrying than walking alongside.

As we walked the 15 min. back to campus, more than once cars of young men drove past us and yelled approvingly.

"Take her home, boys! Woooo!"

"Looks like sloppy seconds for two of you, yeah!"

And so on and so forth.

That was 17 years ago, and I can still hear all those awful things they said. I was honestly confused, because the thought NEVER crossed my mind that I should try to take advantage of her, even though I did find her attractive. It just didn't compute, and it still doesn't.

Now I have a little girl of my own, and one day she'll head off to college. Maybe even my alma mater

but obviously not . . .

All it takes is once. There are way too many scumbags and losers out there.

Unfortunately the video was edited so we don't know what happened during the entire experiment.

To call her friends but she couldn't remember their number.

I kinda figured that reading the thread, common sense solutions would get lost in problematic what-if scenarios pretending to make it more complex than it actually is. My guess was correct (but I'm also guessing tomorrow is Thursday in my time zone-- a guess of the same complexity).

I hope these type of experiments continue. Shine some light on "date rape" issues.

have you ever spent any time in a European city on a weekend evening? Trying to take care of all of the drunk people and preventing them being taken advantage of would be a full time job, and probably dangerous to you personally if people did not understand your good intentions. The thing to do is to call the cops if you think someone's safety is at risk, and to only personally intervene if there is an immediate threat.

frat party for twenty somethings. I have friends (and my lovely nephew!) who have also done it. It's really not that hard. Maybe I get out too much, but yeah, you see a solo gal wobbly to nodding out and the predators come out of hiding pretty quickly.