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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsPaul Ryan Discovers Half-Finished Escape Tunnel Leading Out Of Speaker’s Office
Yes, it is The Onion.
http://www.theonion.com/article/paul-ryan-discovers-half-finished-escape-tunnel-le-51786
Moving a 19th-century armchair away from the mahogany-paneled wall as he rearranged his new office Wednesday, recently elected House Speaker Paul Ryan reportedly stumbled upon a half-finished escape tunnel leading out of the Speakers chambers. Oh, man, look at this thingit must go back 100 feet! said Ryan, who found the makeshift passageway strewn with numerous worn-down Montblanc fountain pens that had apparently been used to chip away at the plaster wall, the marble and brick of the Capitol buildings foundation, and the packed earth beyond. Looks like he was digging away from Capitol Hill and toward the Amtrak station. God, he must have spent years on this. At press time, a startled Ryan was said to be shrieking loudly after opening his offices Lincoln-era cherry armoire and finding himself eye-to-eye with a homemade, business-suit-clad dummy that his predecessor had intended to prop up behind his desk to provide sufficient cover when making a getaway.
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Paul Ryan Discovers Half-Finished Escape Tunnel Leading Out Of Speaker’s Office (Original Post)
KamaAina
Nov 2015
OP
Gothmog
(145,567 posts)1. I love the Onion
CaliforniaPeggy
(149,712 posts)2. That is hilarious! Thanks for the much-needed laugh! n/t
hifiguy
(33,688 posts)3. Probably full of empty gin and bourbon bottles.
Warren DeMontague
(80,708 posts)4. you beat me to it.
$700 wine bottles.
ErikJ
(6,335 posts)7. And cig butts.
It must be a smelly office.
Agnosticsherbet
(11,619 posts)6. LOL
alfredo
(60,077 posts)8. Our last Republican governor had a secret door installed so he could avoid contact with voters.
eggplant
(3,913 posts)9. Damned republicans always leaving the job half finished. n/t
keithbvadu2
(36,917 posts)10. a path to Narnia?
Ya never know.
Initech
(100,104 posts)11. Does this mean that Boehner is El Chapo?
KamaAina
(78,249 posts)12. Hardly. El Chapo has the cojones to jump ugly with tRump.