Carson Plummets in Polls Amid Reports
he Did Not Stab Anyone.
DES MOINES (The Borowitz Report)—New reports indicating that Ben Carson might not have actually stabbed anyone during his youth have sent the retired neurosurgeon plummeting in the latest Republican Presidential polls.
Carson supporters, reeling from the news that their candidate’s past might have been devoid of stabbing, have deserted his candidacy in droves, suggesting that Republican voters viewed Carson’s stabbing as a key part of his résumé.
Indeed, a recent University of Minnesota poll showed that a full third of Carson supporters singled out “his stabbing experience” as a top reason for supporting him for the nation’s highest office.
In Iowa, where Carson was the front-runner before the non-stabbing bombshell hit, voters like Carol Foyler, of Des Moines, expressed dismay and disillusionment that the retired doctor might have fabricated his stabbing exploits to make himself more appealing to Republican voters.
http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/carson-plummets-in-polls-amid-reports-he-did-not-stab-anyone
= new reply since forum marked as read
Maybe you did not notice that this is an Andy Borowitz satire, my friend.
For those who don't know, Poe's law
In it's original phrasing:
[link:Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is utterly impossible to parody a Creationist in such a way that someone won't mistake for the genuine article.]
The law gets naturally extended to religion in general and, of course, the GOP.
there appears to be only one option left
before responding.
Yup. Borowitz. 
Piece of chicken with a fork
Until I saw it was Borowitz, I was thinking this was realistic and true.
Oh well, we'll have to make conservatives more aware of his vegetarianism...that should scuttle him. Let's wait until after he secures the nomination though. 
about the military except what's in the Bible.
