General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsWe need a new word.
My niece is living with a guy who I'll call Kenny. They aren't married, but have a child. They plan to spend the rest of their lives together, in a loving and committed relationship. But they aren't ever going to marry. And that's fine. In fact, it's wonderful that they found each other, and I don't care if they ever marry. That's not the point. I absolutely approve of their arrangement. This post isn't about that.
They aren't alone, either. I have a cousin, now in her fifties, who lives exactly like this, and has for years. I suspect this trend will continue, rather that abate.
But here is my question: Kenny is her _________.
Not husband. Then what? Significant Other, I suppose, is fine. But Kenny is part of our family, whether he's married to my niece or not. "Significant Other" isn't something one family member calls another. (I can just see the Christmas card: To Kenny, my niece's Significant Other) Another family member suggested "her man." Really? It's not like they're dating. They live in a house together, committed to each other, raising children. So we need a new word.
Oh, and what does my brother, my niece's father, call Kenny? Not Son-in-Law, because he isn't. We need a new word for that one, too.
MannyGoldstein
(34,589 posts)Sounds like they agreed to be partners, but not husband and wife.
bigwillq
(72,790 posts)is the word I would also use.
Ohio Dem
(4,357 posts)I guess that is a good way to describe them, but I never liked that word for people in a romantic relationship. It seems so ... sterile sounding. Like they're in a business agreement. Maybe "life partner?"
Old Codger
(4,205 posts)POSSLQ is an abbreviation (or acronym) for "Persons of Opposite Sex Sharing Living Quarters," a term coined in the late 1970s by the United States Census Bureau as ...
dballance
(5,756 posts)chollybocker
(3,687 posts)They ultimately get to decide what other people call them.
Welcome to the world of non-conformative relationships.
Sherman A1
(38,958 posts)but, folks will call them as they wish to call them. It would be best for the couple to define their relationship, but ultimately it will probably be in the eye of the beholder.
kristopher
(29,798 posts)Journeyman
(15,038 posts)Kenny is her POSSLQ.
POSSLQ -- "Persons of Opposite Sex Sharing Living Quarters" -- is a term coined in the late 1970s by the U.S. Census Bureau as part of an effort to more accurately gauge the prevalence of cohabitation in American households.
CBS commentator Charles Osgood wrote a poem about it after the 1980 census:
My POSSLQ
Come live with me and be my love,
And we will some new pleasures prove
Of golden sands and crystal brooks
With silken lines, and silver hooks.
There's nothing that I wouldn't do
If you would be my POSSLQ.
You live with me, and I with you,
And you will be my POSSLQ.
I'll be your friend and so much more;
That's what a POSSLQ is for.
And everything we will confess;
Yes, even to the IRS.
Some day on what we both may earn,
Perhaps we'll file a joint return.
You'll share my pad, my taxes, joint;
You'll share my life - up to a point!
And that you'll be so glad to do,
Because you'll be my POSSLQ.
Odin2005
(53,521 posts)My mom and (now deceased) stepdad were together for 13 years before they got formally married, but everyone treated them as a married couple.
KansDem
(28,498 posts)I know it can be overused, but consider the history of the term:
Plato
In his dialogue The Symposium, Plato has Aristophanes present a story about soul mates. Aristophanes states that humans originally had four arms, four legs, and a single head made of two faces, but Zeus feared their power and split them all in half, condemning them to spend their lives searching for the other half to complete them.[1]
It certain describes your comment, In fact, it's wonderful that they found each other
Also...
Theosophy
According to Theosophy, whose claims were modified by Edgar Cayce, God created androgynous soulsequally male and female. Later theories postulate that the souls split into separate genders, perhaps because they incurred karma while playing around on the Earth, or "separation from God." Over a number of reincarnations, each half seeks the other. When all karmic debt is purged, the two will fuse back together and return to the ultimate.[2][3]
--more--
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soulmate
I found my "soulmate" decades ago...
cali
(114,904 posts)As others have pointed out the word is partner. One of my sisters has lived with her partner for 30 years. Not married. But don't count on your niece and Kenny never getting married. I know tons of couples who lived together for years, had kids and after a decade or tow ended up tying the legal knot.
dinopipie
(84 posts)it is between your Niece and Kenny on what they want to call their relationship.
Why should your definition of their relationship be imposed upon them by you and other family members?
Instead of speculation among the family and internets, why not just ask your niece and Kenny.
It would save time and hurt feelings.
Been there done that even got the t-shirt
GeorgeGist
(25,323 posts)Kenny.
99Forever
(14,524 posts)Isn't that why we name our children?
Kablooie
(18,641 posts)DaveHee
(14 posts)Simple and easy, Consort.