General Discussion

closeupready

(29,503 posts) Tue Nov 17, 2015, 02:53 PM Nov 2015

Do you ask new sex partners about their HIV status prior to engaging in sex?

From the CDC:

Sharing your HIV status
•I heard you should always ask people that you are starting to date about their HIV status. It’s better to talk about it earlier rather than later—certainly before you have sex. How would you ask someone you’re dating about their HIV status?
•I was on Facebook and saw a post about the importance of knowing your HIV status. Do you know yours?
•I always ask people that I am starting to date about their HIV status. You’d be surprised at how easy the conversation can be.
•I got tested for HIV last week. I was nervous but relieved to learn that I am HIV-negative. Knowing my status feels great and now I want to encourage all of my friends and family to get tested, too. What are some reasons you might not want to get tested? I can tell you about my experience and it might help address your concerns.
•About a year ago, I found out that I’m HIV-positive. Since then, I’ve been taking HIV medication and I feel great. The virus is controlled and at undetectable levels. When was the last time you were tested for HIV? I will go with you to get tested if you’re scared or nervous.

http://www.cdc.gov/actagainstaids/campaigns/oneconversation/start.html

18 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

Do you ask new sex partners about their HIV status prior to engaging in sex? (Original Post) closeupready Nov 2015 OP

Only when I fuck edhopper Nov 2015 #1

What new sex partners? KamaAina Nov 2015 #2

lol - like a Woody Allen joke ... closeupready Nov 2015 #3

I'm with Woody there. Binkie The Clown Nov 2015 #18

Since the 80's. Iggo Nov 2015 #4

Given my sexual history, lack of IV drug use and lack of transfusions Ex Lurker Nov 2015 #5

No way. It's considered weird when I talk to myself. nt Codeine Nov 2015 #6

I'm not sure I get it - you're just like, 'who cares', and closeupready Nov 2015 #7

It was a masturbation joke. nt Codeine Nov 2015 #9

I'm dumb. closeupready Nov 2015 #10

lol Go Vols Nov 2015 #13

LOL. bvar22 Nov 2015 #16

A friend, who was an HIV councelor, imparted this great wisdom: blogslut Nov 2015 #8

I'll try, but pictures don't usually talk back. ProudToBeBlueInRhody Nov 2015 #11

I just assumed everybody was positive Laughing Mirror Nov 2015 #12

that is the safest assumption. nt La Lioness Priyanka Nov 2015 #15

when i used to have new sex partners, i would ask and determined that for most people who said La Lioness Priyanka Nov 2015 #14

Yes, always. Jim Lane Nov 2015 #17

edhopper

(33,604 posts)

1. Only when I fuck

Reply to closeupready (Original post)

Tue Nov 17, 2015, 03:11 PM

Nov 2015

Charlie Sheen.

KamaAina

(78,249 posts)

2. What new sex partners?

Reply to closeupready (Original post)

Tue Nov 17, 2015, 03:21 PM

Nov 2015

closeupready

(29,503 posts)

3. lol - like a Woody Allen joke ...

Reply to KamaAina (Reply #2)

Tue Nov 17, 2015, 03:26 PM

Nov 2015

"I wish I had the chance to forget to ask ..."

Binkie The Clown

(7,911 posts)

18. I'm with Woody there.

Reply to closeupready (Reply #3)

Tue Nov 17, 2015, 05:13 PM

Nov 2015

My first wife and my second wife is the full extent of my experience in that department.

Iggo

(47,563 posts)

4. Since the 80's.

Reply to closeupready (Original post)

Tue Nov 17, 2015, 03:27 PM

Nov 2015

Ex Lurker

(3,815 posts)

5. Given my sexual history, lack of IV drug use and lack of transfusions

Reply to closeupready (Original post)

Tue Nov 17, 2015, 03:27 PM

Nov 2015

there's literally no way I could have contracted HIV. If a hypothetical partner really wanted to know, I would get tested, but there's no reason to do so now. I don't know whether I would bother to ask someone else or not, to be honest. Female to male transference rate is very rare, so I probably wouldn't bother with it.

Again, all hypothetical. I don't expect to find myself in a situation where it would be relevant.

Codeine

(25,586 posts)

6. No way. It's considered weird when I talk to myself. nt

Reply to closeupready (Original post)

Tue Nov 17, 2015, 03:28 PM

Nov 2015

closeupready

(29,503 posts)

7. I'm not sure I get it - you're just like, 'who cares', and

Reply to Codeine (Reply #6)

Tue Nov 17, 2015, 03:33 PM

Nov 2015

go forth with having sexual intercourse without condoms, without knowing someone's HIV status? I think lots of people do, too. And under the right circumstances, probably tons of people would, also.

By the way, I am NOT judging you for it. I respect your freedom to accept responsibility for your decisions.

Codeine

(25,586 posts)

9. It was a masturbation joke. nt

Reply to closeupready (Reply #7)

Tue Nov 17, 2015, 03:38 PM

Nov 2015

closeupready

(29,503 posts)

10. I'm dumb.

Reply to Codeine (Reply #9)

Tue Nov 17, 2015, 03:40 PM

Nov 2015

(I'll try it on my girlfriend, Rosie, when I get home.)

Go Vols

(5,902 posts)

13. lol

Reply to Codeine (Reply #6)

Tue Nov 17, 2015, 03:55 PM

Nov 2015

bvar22

(39,909 posts)

16. LOL.

Reply to Codeine (Reply #6)

Tue Nov 17, 2015, 04:06 PM

Nov 2015

Can you rally trust your hand anymore?
No telling where it has been.

blogslut

(38,007 posts)

8. A friend, who was an HIV councelor, imparted this great wisdom:

Reply to closeupready (Original post)

Tue Nov 17, 2015, 03:35 PM

Nov 2015

"Everyone lies about sex. Period."

Get tested. Always use protection with a new partner. Never assume you're safe just because you're in a committed relationship.

ProudToBeBlueInRhody

(16,399 posts)

11. I'll try, but pictures don't usually talk back.

Reply to closeupready (Original post)

Tue Nov 17, 2015, 03:49 PM

Nov 2015

Laughing Mirror

(4,185 posts)

12. I just assumed everybody was positive

Reply to closeupready (Original post)

Tue Nov 17, 2015, 03:53 PM

Nov 2015

As I assumed that the people I had sex with over the past 30 some years assumed of me. Sometimes people would volunteer the information, but I never remember asking anybody outright.

La Lioness Priyanka

(53,866 posts)

15. that is the safest assumption. nt

Reply to Laughing Mirror (Reply #12)

Tue Nov 17, 2015, 03:58 PM

Nov 2015

La Lioness Priyanka

(53,866 posts)

14. when i used to have new sex partners, i would ask and determined that for most people who said

Reply to closeupready (Original post)

Tue Nov 17, 2015, 03:58 PM

Nov 2015

"i am clean", it generally meant that they do not know their status. IMO it is best to treat everyone you are having sex with as Hiv positive, unless you know otherwise (like, have seen an actual document with their recent hiv status).

the onus to keep ourselves hiv negative, rests with ourselves.

Jim Lane

(11,175 posts)

17. Yes, always.

Reply to closeupready (Original post)

Tue Nov 17, 2015, 04:30 PM

Nov 2015

One common situation: I got tested at least three months after any possible exposure, the test came up negative, and I have no possible exposure since then. I tell my partner this. If she represents that she's in the same situation, we each trust the other and can have unprotected sex (still using birth control).

Another common situation: I had unprotected sex with a former partner, as above, and haven't been tested since. I disclose this. A new partner might be willing to trust me but not my former partner, whom the new partner has never met. I have no problem with that; I'll get tested again.

The whole subject is often an annoyance but it's a necessary one.

Reply to this discussion