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trumad

(41,692 posts) Fri Nov 27, 2015, 01:55 PM Nov 2015

2

42 Million Dead In Bloodiest Black Friday Weekend On Record

NEWS November 26, 2012
VOL 48 ISSUE 48 · News
NEW YORK—According to emergency personnel, early estimates indicate that more than 42 million Americans were killed this past weekend in what is now believed to be the bloodiest Black Friday shopping event in history.

First responders reporting from retail stores all across the nation said the record-breaking post-Thanksgiving shopping spree carnage began as early as midnight on Friday, when 13 million shoppers were reportedly trampled, pummeled, burned, stabbed, shot, lanced, and brutally beaten to death while attempting to participate in early holiday sales events.

http://www.theonion.com/article/42-million-dead-in-bloodiest-black-friday-weekend--30517?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=LinkPreview:NA:InFocus

6 replies

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Highlight:

42 Million Dead In Bloodiest Black Friday Weekend On Record (Original Post) trumad Nov 2015 OP

That's not too bad LiberalEsto Nov 2015 #1

Ayn Rand had an orgasm -- despite being dead. nt Jerry442 Nov 2015 #2

Ugh Oilwellian Nov 2015 #5

Just think how much less crowded it will be NEXT year! krispos42 Nov 2015 #3

"Cleanup in aisle seven." lpbk2713 Nov 2015 #4

LOL nt Bigmack Nov 2015 #6

LiberalEsto

(22,845 posts)

1. That's not too bad

Reply to trumad (Original post)

Fri Nov 27, 2015, 02:20 PM

Nov 2015

Try again next year.

Jerry442

(1,265 posts)

2. Ayn Rand had an orgasm -- despite being dead. nt

Reply to trumad (Original post)

Fri Nov 27, 2015, 03:27 PM

Nov 2015

Oilwellian

(12,647 posts)

5. Ugh

Reply to Jerry442 (Reply #2)

Fri Nov 27, 2015, 05:45 PM

Nov 2015

I did not need that thought in my head.

krispos42

(49,445 posts)

3. Just think how much less crowded it will be NEXT year!

Reply to trumad (Original post)

Fri Nov 27, 2015, 03:30 PM

Nov 2015

N/t

lpbk2713

(42,766 posts)

4. "Cleanup in aisle seven."

Reply to trumad (Original post)

Fri Nov 27, 2015, 04:51 PM

Nov 2015

"Get these cadavers outta here."

Bigmack

(8,020 posts)

6. LOL nt

Reply to lpbk2713 (Reply #4)

Fri Nov 27, 2015, 05:51 PM

Nov 2015

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