When he claimed he could speak in tongues, he was speaking with forked tongue.

Instead, he earns a Darwin Award.

The Bible says that followers of Christ shall take up serpents, and shall drink poison and not be harmed.

When someone inconveniently dies of snake-bite the snake handlers say that "shall not be harmed" refers only to the drinking poison part.

The taking up serpents is just something you ought to do, though you may be harmed.

(The snake handlers also drink highly diluted poison, BTW)

Irony at work? Satan at work? God at work?

Oh, what the hell...

Bwahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

And I've owned a snake so I know where that "doesn't belong" spot is.

Worthy of a Darwin Award right there.

maybe god was pissed.

May 30, 2012

Details begin to emerge on pastor’s snake bite death
By Samantha Perry
Bluefield Daily Telegraph The Register-Herald Wed May 30, 2012, 12:01 AM EDT

BLUEFIELD — A Mercer County pastor who died after being bitten by a timber rattlesnake during a religious service in McDowell County was taken to a Brushfork-area residence before emergency service personnel were called.

Details into the death of Mack Randall Wolford, 44, of Green Valley, emerged Tuesday after it was learned Wolford, pastor of Full Gospel Apostolic House of the Lord Jesus in Matoaka — a church that practices serpent handling — died Monday as a result of a snake bite incurred during a homecoming service.

Lauren Pond, a freelance photojournalist from Washington D.C., was at the weekend service during which Wolford was bitten.

Pond said about 25 people were in attendance at the homecoming service at Panther State Forest. “Randy (Wolford) had invited me down,” Pond said, explaining that she had been working with Wolford for about a year on a documentary project. “I went to it (the homecoming service) last year. This gathering was the second one.”

Or so they will say.

Bake

...of context in the bible

... and died as a result.

Homer the Heretic (episode 9F01)

Homer invites Moe to join his new religion, but Moe explains, "I was born a Snake Handler, and I'll die a Snake Handler."

mikey_the_rat

He stayed at church, they prayed and he died.

His arm swelled up to probably 3 or 4 times it's normal size. It was atrophying. He kept praying and singing because he thought his god would save him. It was a disturbing site.

And for sure, that bad snake came back and bit him near the ass. You'll have that shit!

Byebye!

What exactly makes virgin births, raising the dead, multiplying snacks and dying for our "sins" less mockable than handling snakes?

It doesn't matter what you believe, the real question is what does the snake believe.

It doesn't matter what you believe about, for example, biology; the real question is how death and reproduction work.