My ex broke into my house and held me at gunpoint for 48 hours. I could not call for help, I remember the world going on outside my house oblivious to my situation and wondering how long I would live.
When I saw my chance, I escaped and went to the safest place I could think of, the medical center where I worked. They let me stay in the resident on call room, changed my shift, assigned me to a unit in another building, alerted security and instructed everyone in the hospital to answer any inquiry's about me with "she no longer works here"

is the bastard behind bars?

I honestly believe because I'm a nurse and the nursing department was run by women that is the reason they protected me. A male dominated profession would have seen me as a liability.
When I showed up bruised, barefoot and terrified I knew my sisters would protect me.

are actually fired, not protected.

glad to know that the bastard can no longer pose a threat to you.

There weren't shelters etc. I had called the police prior to this event and they actually were sympathetic to him because he told them I suddenly turned lesbian on him and put him out of his own house. And took all his money. I was expecting him to be arrested for breaking the restraining order but they just told him not to do it again.
I realized I was not going to be protected by the police, if anything it escalated him.

that you got the support you needed, even though it wasn't from those paid to "protect and serve".

I keep thinking about nicole brown simpson, and how the police behaved when she called them about simpson's violating the RO against him--they asked for his autograph in at least one instance.

for every one of us to stand up to abusers. No matter what the abuse is its time to put a stop to it

The anti-bully campaigns in schools may actually be doing some good outside the school.

A cousin has been in an emotionally abusive relationship for some time. The guy is a master at treating her like shit then blaming her when her feelings are hurt, and looking like the good guy to everyone else. Over time he's convinced her this is better than what she deserves.

They played host to her sister's family.... which included 4 kids ranging in age from 8 to 18. Well the 8 yr old figured out the deal in under 2 days and enlisted her siblings. One day at the dinner table the jackass started his little routine and all 4 kids let him have it. Told him he's a bully. Told him he has no right to treat anyone that way. Told their aunt (my cousin) she deserves better, can do better, and should not have to live with this. Told their parents they should help her pack and take her back to their house until she can get divorced and back on her feet.

Being challenged the fucker's true color came out for all to see. Apparently the police were called and the 18 yr old of the kids was arrested..... released a few hours later to his parents as they were leaving town early. Of course it shot the hell out of Christmas Eve.

My cousin, their aunt, spent Christmas packing up her car and this morning arranging for a U-Haul and a couple strong backs. The financial cost to her in the immediate future will be incredible but she says the kids standing up and calling a bully a bully made her realize it's not just her. It's really him.

She has some mental and emotional work to do but I think those kids saved her......

reminding us that there is hope in almost any situation.

why on earth was one of the kids arrested??? where is the abuser now? in jail, one hopes.

if possible, please let us know how she is doing. prayers for strength and healing headed her way.

The abuser is not permitted to enter the building, but it doesn't stop him from loitering around outside. If I ever see him I give him the evil eye. He knows I'm onto him and he avoids making eye contact with me. He often keeps her waiting around for hours after work for her ride home. She won't accept a ride from anyone here because there would be...repercussions.

Unfortunately, even our company's loosely-enforced "no cell phone" policy is not enough to keep him from verbally abusing her at work. He calls the main line and harasses her endlessly if he gets put through.

Other co-workers and I who know the situation have tried giving her a Trac Fone for emergencies, but she won't take it. She's afraid he'll find it and hurt her. We've left shelter literature on her desk. I hope she's read it. We've suggested an escape kit that she can keep here if she needs to. Having worked in shelters, I know where there are ones close by.

Over-intervening can be really dangerous for her, so we have to be as discreet as we can. My co-workers and I worry about her every single day. So far she has managed to keep herself alive and coming to work, which is pretty damned amazing considering what a brute he appears to be.

Every so often I'll just pat her on the shoulder and remind her that if she wants to take steps, help is available. She is the best judge of her own situation, but it's so hard to stand by and watch.

strain this puts on all of you, and honour you all for your courage and determination.

there are no easy answers in these situations (well, I can think of ONE. . . )

thank you all so much for being there for her.

A strong-willed, educated and well-employed woman who tolerates no bullshit was nevertheless hobbled by a system completely inadequate for dealing with the threat imposed by abusers.

She told me the details only months after the fact, and I was horrified to learn how hard it is for a victim to escape harm, and how easy it is for an abuser to escape responsibility.

k/r

with the RO, etc. and the guards in the building knowing it. Her office was just down the hall from my isp.

the abuser/murderer did not spend much time in jail.