Our valiant CBP--detaining suspicious foreigners trying to sneak into our little paradise on earth

My wife and I arrived in the States on Saturday. We flew from Amsterdam to Atlanta. When we got to the passport control, the CBP uniform asked how long we'd be staying. I said my wife was going back on Jan. 10th, and I would be going back on Jan. 30th. She had a print-out of her ticket, plus her German passport is full of stamps of her entering the USA every year on December 26th.

Oh, no ya don't! You dirty European moochers wanting to infiltrate yourselves into our generous welfare system or work for under-the-table for cash or whatever. A 63 year old tall blonde German woman accompanied by her American husband with a declared residence in Germany looks pretty suspicious, right? So, our valiant hero in uniform puts her passport in a yellow pouch, gives it to another officer who leads us into a detention room with all sorts of other suspicious types. The room has one-way mirrors, so the people on the outside can look into the cage, but the animals on the inside (us) can't see out.

After half an hour, she is called. I go with her, but decide to keep my mouth shut so as not to give the impression I am telling her what to say. The immigration guy looks at her passport, asks how long she is staying (still January10th) is she there for private visit or for work (she is retired and has no intention of seeking 9 days of gainful employment while here, DUH!), and the interview lasts 90 seconds. BAM, her passport is stamped, and we can collect our luggage, which is waiting for us.

To add insult to injury, after leaving our luggage with Delta for the flight to Charleston, we go to the gate where the Charleston flights are leaving. We were booked on the 2:55 PM flight, but Delta called our travel agent to say the flight had been canceled, and rebooked us on a 4:30 flight. We get to the gate. The 2:55 flight was NOT canceled, and we could have gotten on it, but our luggage would not. So, we hung in Atlanta for the 4:30 flight. Three out of four of our bags made it to Charleston (a 40 minute nonstop flight after a 3 hour layover, and the SMALLEST of our 4 bags doesn't make it!). Delta managed to deliver the last one to our hotel at 2 AM.

I'm back in the USSA, I'm so glad I can't say, boy. Back in the US, back in the US, back in the USSA !