Fortunately, I've never experienced a similar thing.

for me. I was just hoping after the incident that I didn't make things worse for the folks who work here. I fear I may have incited this asshole further.

As much as I'm abroad, I've never really seen anything like this from another American. I've seen a lot of stupidity and entitlement in how some Americans treat cities in other parts of the world like they're personal amusement parks, but this was a whole different level of ugly.

I think it's very admirable that you were able to stay calm and collected so that you could address this idiot American. And then you were able to help the lady at the front desk.

Good for you!

That poor clerk has to put up with total idiots like that probably every single day. His behavior was totally uncalled for. Mistakes can happen in billing, and there's a way to bring attention to that sort of mistake. And his way wasn't remotely right.

For what it's worth, every so often a check at a restaurant or bar is wrong, and invariably it's that the server left off something we had. I, and the friends I'm with when this happens, always point out the mistake. Once in a while they will let it go, which is nice, but usually we get a corrected one, which is perfectly fine.

And to top it off, I bet the entire exchange was taking place in English, because that man takes if for granted that no matter where he goes they'll speak English. He probably never even bothered to learn how to say "please" and "thank you" in Ukrainian.

Which was part of what pissed me off about this, because you could see the lady working trying to translate things in her head before trying to respond in broken English. I'm sure her English was more broken than it would normally be because she was so upset.

And by the way, thank you in Ukrainian is pronounced DYAH-koo-yoo.

People like that are an offense to all of us.

for all of us

Your Ugly American doesn't realize it, but you might have saved him from a very bad situation, had a local with a sense of chivalry come along. And you might have made the little jerk think.

Some Ugly Americans seem to believe that if someone doesn't understand English, then speaking LOUDER will solve the problem. That's usually how I've found them--by their bellowing.

I was having beers one night and some locals came and sat near me. We got to talking about things and it was pleasant. After a while, one of them said, "You don't act like other Americans."

I asked him if that was a good thing, and he said yeah, it was meant as a compliment. He said so many Americans he had run into would openly laugh about how cheap things were there and how awesome it was to have the American dollar go so far. I told him that perhaps it wasn't meant as an insult, but was more borne of ignorance. He agreed.

It's really too bad, because I would guess that only about 1 out of every 10 Americans abroad act like idiots in one way or another. This clown was an outlier from my experience. Still, that 10 percent paints a broad brush for everyone else and that's why I'm extra nice and polite whenever I'm in a different country. It's also why I'm very helpful and sincere when I'm asked for directions/input from foreign visitors when I'm at home in San Diego.

a passport!

It would probably head off a few problems!

They seem to feel that anyone in the world can understand English if only it is spoken with enough volume.

around us and attempt, in whatever small measure we can, to alleviate it.

Hardly an American monopoly, a sense of entitled rudeness, though we do seem to have a better-than-fair-share of its perpetrators.

But truly, when we can, interceding like this should be done for the benefit of the hapless worker enduring it. Chances are, we'll never influence the perpetrator, and will most likely anger them more (as you seemingly did), but if we remove the wrath from the recipient, and restore calm to their day, we've done much to make the world a slightly better place. And we've stood up, in the process, for someone most likely restrained from acting by the demands of their position and employment.

Just have to be careful and read the signs: Hyper people can be dangerous people.

No one is entitled to act like an ass to customer service agents.

+1

Kiev or Reno or anywhere it's always good to stop assholes from bullying poor folks just trying to do their jobs. Bet the asshole is the kind of American who walks down the streets of London or Paris looking for a McDonald's. He's the guy at the topless beach in Italy wearing black socks and taking pictures of titties without an ounce of self-awareness - namely that he's an obvious boorish American ignoramus.

I am almost always sticking my nose into these kinds of situations.

remarkably restrained.

Good for you.

Peace to you.

He may have been right. Bills sometimes do overstate charges. He should have gently asked to speak to her supervisor. Just like we do in America.

Over $2???? That seems kind of silly.

He might have taken it. Then you would have been guilty of rewarding him for his bad behavior.

As it turned out, I'm glad he took it as an insult. He deserved one.

Not enough people are brave enough to stand up like that. Awesome!

you did the right thing and honored the person at the desk. and in a sense, you honored the asshole by appealing to his higher self.

people attacking or bullying others or abusing vulnerable persons and creatures when they think no one is looking is hideous. it is shocking to witness. this abusive bully needs to be caught. no doubt he attacks others he considers weaklings because they seem defenseless and will "take it". it is not a rare behavior in most cultures/countries and can become quite depraved to include torture.

i'm glad you were there.

goon will never get it. You did the best right thing. You mended that clerk's heart.

and thank you for explaining to the poor clerk that we're not all like that asshole. Should I ever get well enough to travel to Kiev, I'll be treated just a little better because of you. So will everyone else.

Last edited Mon Feb 1, 2016, 05:26 AM - Edit history (1)

Maybe a nice letter to the Editor of the New York Times or Washington Post would be in order. I saw a guy behave like that at Copenhagen Airport to some SAS people. They tried to help him, but finally just walked off and left him to stew in his hate.

I hate seeing waiters and clerks etc. being mistreated, anywhere. This jerk was really out-of-line. What's "asshole" in Ukrainian?

and travels, I thank you for that. Our image around the world is so bad due to our arrogance that this man was so freely spewing. I see these types of meltdowns all too often and it is important to present a better image.

Now that some time has passed as it's mid-day here, I guess I did do the right thing after having some time to think and reading all of your responses.

One of the things I saw in several posts here really hit home - arrogance. Americans in general seem to lack humility, which comes off as a total lack of respect. We're guests in their homes and need to act like it.

Anyway, I got a big smile from that lady as I passed by the front desk on my way to my room to change for lunch. That alone made it worthwhile. I'm sure that clown from this morning has already thrown a tantrum on several other people by now. It wasn't about him - it was about (a) that person who was being horribly mistreated and to a lesser but still important to me extent (b) to try to make it clear that not all Americans are assholes.

Oh, and as far as 'having cajones' is concerned, I want to be clear that I didn't see this as a physically threatening situation. I'm about 6' and 215 pounds and in shape and this guy was about 5'6" and a buck-40 soaking wet. I'd have been easily able to pick him up and stuff him in a garbage can if it came to that - he was a tiny little dude. Makes me wonder if that had something to do with his meltdown, but I'm not concerned with him anymore.

Thanks again!

I am in a different country almost every day for work, so I see this constantly. I only intervene if it is holding me up, but I always say something to the badgered employee. I speak 9 languages, so if I don't confront the offending American directly, he/she usually never realizes I'm doing damage control. Odd how the worst offenders never seem to know the local language, but insist on badgering the locals in English whether they understand it or not.

Actually, Americans don't have a complete monopoly on this. I remember standing in line for breakfast at a hotel in Zürich when a couple of well-dressed German businessmen were complaining loudly about having to wait because of all the Americans before them (probably some tour group). They were getting obnoxious with their comments, positive no American would understand German. I spoke up and told him in fluent German that "some of us Americans understand every word you're saying." He was startled, and mumbled something about "I didn't really mean it that way," or some other BS.

One time, about ten years ago, I was in Paris buying some fruit at a stand on the Rue Cadet, and asked me where I was from when I thanked him in Arabic (from his accent and appearance, not too difficult to figure out). When I said Texas, he frowned, and said "Bush is from Texas. I am from Iraq." I told him that not all of us supported the invasion of Iraq, and that I was horrified at what Bush had done to his country, and explained that plenty of us, even in Texas, were very sorry for him and how countrymen about what Bush had done to them in our name. He said he had no idea there was such strong opposition in America to Bush and his Iraq invasion, and came out from behind his stand to shake my hand and thank me for taking the time to talk to him.

Whether it's a few words in Turkish to the Turks, a few words in Russian to the Russians or a few words in Catalan to the Catalans, I always do my best to present us in a favorable light, since there are more than enough boors out there, like the one you encountered in the Ukraine, to present the opposite picture.

doing reparative diplomacy..

There are enough boorish louts among our esteemed countrymen who make fools of themselves (and therefore, the rest of us) when overseas.

If Catalunya ever splits off from Spain (which I do not advocate), there is still a small (maybe 10%) chance I could get asked if I want to be ambassador, as I have lived in Barcelona and speak Catalan). Frankly, it's not a job I would take lightly, and since my wife is German, I think she'd prefer that I either continue to stay out of politics, or, if not, be considered for the post in Germany, Switzerland, or Austria. As those three are usually given to either political appointees or career diplomats, I think I'll be sticking with my day job. But what a gig to turn down!!

As for the reparative diplomacy, that can ONLY be accomplished by knowing the language of the people you are dealing with. I don't care if it's Holland or Sweden, or any of those small countries that teach English to their children the moment they enter school--if you REALLY want to connect with the people in the Netherlands, learn Dutch. If you REALLY want to connect with the Swedes, learn Swedish (which, by the way, is really easy, just not very useful outside of Scandinavia).

Even this afternoon, my first full day back here in Europe, a guy who was obviously a newly arrived refugee held the door open for me at the local travel agency. Instead of "Danke," I said "shukhran (thanks in Arabic)," and the guy turned around, amazed, with a big smile on his face. That's at least ONE guy that won't be cursing the locals tonight (he had no way to know I was American) as he heads back to his bunk at whichever refugee housing center our town is putting him up at.

find it easy to acquire new tongues?

I am possibly more jealous of polyglots than I am of any other class of people.

I travel a lot and feel like an idiot every time I have to ask "Do you speak English?" so I learned the languages of people I talk to often, or countries I visit frequently. It seems to make travel a lot easier.

So, I am somewhere between conversant and near-fluent in (besides English):
Spanish
Catalan
Italian
French
Dutch
German
Swedish, and
Russian

I know smatterings (enough words to surprise people, but not nearly enough to be able to converse) of Turkish, Serbo-Croatian, Polish, Tagalog, Hungarian and Japanese. But even a few words sometimes are enough. They say, "I know of your country, and I have had enough interest to learn a few words of your language, even if I have never been there." It goes a longer way than most people could ever imagine.

All I know is some basic Spanish and basic Latin.

I deployed to Iraq as an Infantry Platoon Leader in 2004 and saw a lot of combat and bad stuff going on in Iraq. When I got back from Iraq I was taking a cab in Nuremberg and my cab driver and I started talking in English. He was an Iraqi male about my age (mid 20's)who left the country because of the war. I had a very enlightening conversation with the guy. He was sad about the war and what it was doing to his country and he was sitting next to a guy that was a part of the war. He asked me my honest opinion about Iraq and the people and I let him have it.

I told him that I saw most people were kind and weren't really that different from me. They had families and communities that they cared about and most people obviously wanted nothing to do with the war. I shared some stories I had regarding the kids in Iraq and I shared some tough things I saw and was a part of. At the end of the conversation (30 plus minutes later) I apologized for my involvement in the war (which was a very sincere apology). I don't know how he felt about that apology, but we both left with a lot of respect for the other. The majority of the Iraqi people, like the majority of people everywhere, are good people. Like many people in the world, they are sometimes lead and swayed by leaders who sometimes aren't so good-hearted. Good people often find themselves in bad situations participating in things they don't believe in (which, in my case, was a huge moral shortcoming).

As a participate of the war, interactions with Iraqis who have been touched by the war mean a lot to me. I feel they have a right to see the face of someone who was a part of the destruction of their country and to see my humility. They have a right to be angry at me and I, as a human being, have an obligation to feel and see their anger.

- and you made a good point too. Ugly Americans aren't just ugly abroad, but at home too.

I spent a decent amount of time vacationing in France and I saw it really bad there as opposed to other countries I've visited / lived in. People expect the French people to be rude so many Americans start off interactions with that assumption. The only time I ever saw a French person be rude to an American was when the American was rude to them first.

I've found in countries ranging from those in the Middle East to Germany, Belgium, Greece, etc that a smile and some patience goes a long way. The same is true in our country too.

your comment and more importantly for your service. Glad you got through that safely.

Cheers!

Hard for me to believe that somebody go overseas and gets excited about two bucks.

Although I am the guy who didn't want to pay $5 for a coke in Amsterdam, so it sorta ended up costing me $20 instead for two, but I got some Dutch coins out of the deal too.

Thanks!

I've only been here for about 36 hours and will be around for a couple more days, but you definitely feel the old Soviet influence immediately in terms of the architecture from that era. Some of the really old architecture is very beautiful.

It's cold, but that's because I'm here from San Diego so it's actually not that bad for those who aren't soft like San Diegans are. The people are extremely nice and friendly. The food that I've had is very good, but I like those hearty types of foods. If that's not your thing, it's already clear that you can get whatever type of food you're looking for.

I'm going to get a chance to see more of the city tomorrow after my last meeting, and I'm looking forward to it. We drove by Maidan Square today, where the protests and killings were a couple of years ago. It gave me that same pit-in-stomach feeling I got when I saw the Berlin Wall for the first time. You know it's historic but a lot of bad things happened there.

So far I really like it. Good people, good food and a welcoming atmosphere. I'll have more to say when I have a chance to experience it a bit.

I love hearing your stories of your travel abroad. I really appreciate the perspective of how things are in other countries from DU expats and world travelers!

I ran my own nightly rental business and managed a motel for years. Right here in America, I've experienced the same abuse.. fortunately, it's rare, but it happens, On the occasions when another guest came to my rescue, I was eternally grateful.

What an asshole.