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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsSanders Sends Vegan Thugs to Attack Peace-Loving Nazis observed by Andy Borowitz
CINCINNATI (The Borowitz Report)Republican front-runner Donald Trump was crying foul on Monday after Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders allegedly dispatched an army of vegan thugs to attack a rally of peace-loving Nazis in Cincinnati.
According to Trump, he had begun to address a group of orderly and civil Nazis at a downtown arena when his audience was suddenly set upon by an unruly mob of angry vegans, many menacingly clad in Birkenstocks and sustainable garments.
The Sanders supporters, singing an alarmingly militant version of Simon & Garfunkels America, marched into the arena and began intimidating and threatening the Nazis, Trump said.
Make no mistake about who is starting the violence at these rallies, Trump said. Its the vegans.
Carol Foyler, a Nazi from suburban Cincinnati, said that she feared for her life when one of the vegans ripped a Trump sign from her hands and tried to recycle it.
Harland Dorrinson, a Kentucky Nazi who drove to Ohio to hear Trump speak, said he would never have attended the rally if he had known there would be troublemaking vegans there.
One of them tried to swing an NPR tote bag at my head, the terrified Nazi said.
www.borowitzreport.com
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Sanders Sends Vegan Thugs to Attack Peace-Loving Nazis observed by Andy Borowitz (Original Post)
Mira
Mar 2016
OP
Everything is spot on except the NPR tote bag needs to read: a FreeSpeechTV, FSTV, tote bag.
Dont call me Shirley
Mar 2016
#11
arcane1
(38,613 posts)1. “ripped a Trump sign” from her hands and “tried to recycle it.”
I love Andy!!!
Aerows
(39,961 posts)9. I was about to quote the same thing.
Poor dear must have been terrified
Aerows
(39,961 posts)29. I *barely* missed taking out my keyboard.
SoapBox
(18,791 posts)24. That was my favorite!
KansDem
(28,498 posts)26. Mine, too!!
nadinbrzezinski
(154,021 posts)2. LMAO, this requires an image
Beartracks
(12,821 posts)21. Can you please warn before posting such images...
... of raw, naked violence?
============
valerief
(53,235 posts)3. "many menacingly clad in Birkenstocks and sustainable garments."
One of them tried to swing an NPR tote bag at my head, the terrified Nazi said.
I loves me my Andy!!!!
dem in texas
(2,674 posts)4. Borowitz is Priceless
Got a good chuckle from this. Andy Borowitz always nails it with his satire.
central scrutinizer
(11,659 posts)5. NPR tote bag?
No self respecting Vegan would be caught dead with a Monsanto apologist tote bag
Earth_First
(14,910 posts)7. Right... nt
SusanCalvin
(6,592 posts)15. ^THIS^
Enthusiast
(50,983 posts)31. PLUS ONE, a huge bunch!
Jenny_92808
(1,342 posts)6. K & R
Hilarious!
[img][/img]
jpak
(41,758 posts)8. Ummm... you mean punk ass vegan thugs - right?
irisblue
(33,018 posts)10. wave tofu at them vegans! n/t
Aerows
(39,961 posts)12. That tofu wiggling
in those little containers...
KansDem
(28,498 posts)27. Make sure it's extra firm tofu!!
Soft tofu is, well, too soft...
Dont call me Shirley
(10,998 posts)11. Everything is spot on except the NPR tote bag needs to read: a FreeSpeechTV, FSTV, tote bag.
SusanCalvin
(6,592 posts)17. Yep. nt
AlbertCat
(17,505 posts)13. “ripped a Trump sign” from her hands and “tried to recycle it.”
chknltl
(10,558 posts)16. I suppose I could'a smacked someone with my Bernie Bear....
...if he wasn't so darn cute n collectable.
Beartracks
(12,821 posts)23. Why does that not say Bearnie? n/t
SusanCalvin
(6,592 posts)18. He doesn't seem up-to-date on what's happened to NPR and PBS.
But, otherwise...
chade
(103 posts)19. Freeze, Vegan Police!
[img][/img]
Ivan Kaputski
(528 posts)20. "Hands up ...don't boot"
warrprayer
(4,734 posts)22. A thousand recs
And kicks.
There are some here who still don't understand what we are dealing with.
merrily
(45,251 posts)25. The last thing an activist Bernie supporter would be wielding is an
NPR tote bag. It's times like this I miss MannyGoldstein's satire most: He never would have made a mistake like that.
beam me up scottie
(57,349 posts)28. Borowitz is a national treasure.
herding cats
(19,566 posts)30. I don't care who you are, that's funny!
Unless you're a Trump supporter, and if that's the case...Get off DU!!
arikara
(5,562 posts)32. That is hilarious!
K&R!