May the family know peace.

thank you so very much

Again-thank you so very much from the bottom of my heart

My student's family will so appreciate this

Giving is what we are about.

"What a tremendous help you have been. We have been trying to think of other ways to get donations and have been stuck. We have Kolby's plot covered, but we needed funds to pay for the embalming and ceremony. I can't believe it's so expensive. You have just given me hope in the human race! I thank you with all my heart!! God bless you!"


You guys are all so awesome

Being desperate for funds to cover this young man's funeral while still being deep in grief and shock.

And what a country...costs too much to live, costs too much to die.

that left the kid in hospital for 10 days.

Besides the empathy for the kid(s), there is the question of what I might have missed, said or whatever that might have saved the kid.

I recall one kid --- it was a small class, maybe 12 kids in the class. U.S. History. All the kids except him were in the middle or one side of the room. He sat by himself in the window row, two rows away from the nearest kid. One day, he went home from school and dove onto a butcher knife.

These kids were in a school, upper middle class.

Years later, I was teaching in an urban school. I talked about kids and my experience with kids and suicide. One kid asked where I taught. His response was that suicide was a white kid's problem. We don't commit suicide. Two months later, was the event with the kid that ended in hospital.

I have been retired for 10 years now, but the memories about these kids still come back to me.

funeral home. You don't have to buy it from the funeral home.

I have been a teacher for a long time. I have lost several students but this one is especially sad and so unexpected.

I had my mother cremated when she died extremely unexpectedly nearly two years ago. It was a little over $1,000.00.

is when you can't take care of the last piece of business that life demands.

I sent along a wee bit - hope they find lots of donors to help put Kolby to rest.

I can't thank you enough and I know the family is grateful beyond belief

when my mom died it cost us almost 10 grand

every little thing from the death notice to the casket and process to the headstone

when you get the list of all the cost it is staggering.

We chose to do the service at the funeral home. It was still $6,500 in 2007.

My heart goes out to this young man's family and to you. It has been almost 9 years, and many days I still can't wrap my head around it. Our son graduates from high school this year, and my life is dedicated to keeping him alive.

Much love to your and yours.

~Laura

I can not imagine the pain and loss and devastation you went through

in the interest of open knowledge:

What becomes of the corporal remains of those whose people simply cannot pay these fees to corporations?

for many or most.

... And these potters' fields (a term new to me) will be operated by corporations which get paid by charities or the public purse, depending on county?

plot and simple marker.


In N.Y.C., there is Potters Field with the same. In prior years, there was no marker.

Potters Field was a difficult situation for survivors. There was little or no access to the island because the work was done by prisoners and it was considered unsafe for visitors to mix with the prisoners. There is now effort to change this and families are allowed in small numbers.

I know they do not have any extra. The mother has several kids younger than Kolby. I also taught one of the younger brothers a few years ago.

That family has been through a LOT

they are trying to raise money for the embalming and process

I just can not imagine

We had all read The American Way of Death, and she made her wishes clear (even though he death was completely unexpected). I had it done through the local Burial and Cremation Society, and did not have any embalming done, as it isn't necessary.

imho

this family is just devestated

it will be almost 2 weeks since his horrible death before he can have a funeral and burial.

I think if they can reach half of their goal, they can put the "deposit down" and then move forward with the service and worry about the rest

because the money isn't there.

I had no idea that was even legal.

My GOD if I could, I would give them the money for that. That just seems so inhumane

what I can. I'm a teacher, too. A 7th grader in my school district committed suicide recently sending a shockwave through the school. She was a beautiful girl whose outward appearance masked deep depression. So sad. I hope your student's family finds peace.

and he left this life the day I was celebrating my 65th birthday.

One of my oldest son's friends committed suicide when he was a senior in high school.
It is so sad.

Wish I could do more than make a donation...but at least I can do that.

to give to a family that you have never met makes my heart sing.

I know there is good in the world and you all have proven it

His grandmother says you all are sent from God. She is so very thankful to the 10 of you that opened your hearts

...and my son is still my little boy. I can't imagine this family losing their little boy. I will help you keep this kicked. I would love to see DU come together and take care of this.

I hope you are doing okay.

I am doing okay.

I always do better when I can be busy like trying to help the family


I dread going back to school tomorrow and having the crisis team out

My deepest condolences to that student.

The family is about half way to what they need

Maybe people can share the link on social media even if they can't donate.

great idea

I can never thank you all enough ever...

No way could my daughter and her husband have handled this. Not the cost and not the work when they were so devastated. I don't know how anyone can do it all alone.

But here's how we got through: first you realize that upselling funeral services is just what they do. Resist that. Go in knowing you aren't buying a solid walnut coffin with an innerspring mattress inside. If you want a coffin at all and not cremation, realize that you can order one online, even from Costco.

My daughter and her husband chose cremation.... No grave, no headstone. I, personally, would have gone for that kind of memorial for the ashes, but not everyone wants to. Costs for a gravesite depend on availability of space in your area. My FIL bought his own site many many years ago for $300; by the time my MIL passed away it was $3,000 to be buried in the same section. My neighbors chose a lovely place about an hour's drive away for his parents. Graveside services, "opening" the grave, all that adds up.

Renting a space at the church cost something -- use of the sanctuary, the hall, and the kitchen. Deposit for cleaning fees if you didn't clean up after yourself. Honorarium for the minister. Those were our biggest expenses.

Flowers. Food.

Damn I think I'm tearing up.

Everybody says "What can I do to help?" It took me two days to recover enough from the shock to figure out what to say, and then I grabbed the next person who said that and told her, and the next person likewise, and so on. In the immediate aftermath, people want to help. Let them.

I told one friend of my daughter's to use her phone list to ask people to bring trays of simple finger food. I told my friends to stand by to receive the trays and lay them out on the tables. I asked specific people to bring tablecloths. I told my SIL's male friends to pull the heavy tables and chairs from storage at the church and to set them up, then put them away afterward. A crew of his friends took charge of the church kitchen and then left it spotless afterward. My friends didn't so much buy flower arrangements as they did living potted plants to decorate the altar. We had garden flowers on the tables, and they were so beautiful.

All that was free, because people asked to help and wanted to help. Food, flowers, labor before and after. Most of the leftover food went home with the grieving family, so they wouldn't have to cook for awhile.

Blessings to all who mourn, and may they be comforted. I hope these words help someone some day.