Don't be like Ted

Don't eat your boogers
Don't worry about other people pooping
Don't embrace torture
and if you suffer from premature enomination, Don't waste your nomination on a candidate who won't help you in the convention.

There was exactly one candidate who could have helped Cruz miraculously steal the nomination from Trump. Of course, you're going to laugh because you're a Democrat and because you're not functionally insane. But with the Republican pool of actual convention delegates, the one Veep-to-the-Creep would have been Marco Rubio.

Picking Carly Fiorina is dumb, because he's basically asking the convention dels "Would you rather have an inexperienced Vice Presidential candidate who will be distracted by a law suit throughout the fall campaign, or a Presidential candidate who will be distracted by a law suit throughout the fall campaign? Obviously having the top slot filled by a fraudulent huckster with a crappy business record is by far preferential.

Of course, this post, like all my posts these days, is directly addressed to Hillary Clinton. Pick someone who is demographically like you, but who is tempermentally entirely unlike you. That's what Bubba did in 1992 and it was a brilliant move.

By all of this, of course, I mean that Clinton should pick another 60 something Northeastern woman as her veep. She should pick Elizabeth Warren. That would be the single least Teddish thing she could do and it would unify the party in ways she couldn't fathom. And it will fix Elizabeth Warren's one mistake since taking public office: not running in 2016.