The Trumpurian Candidate

For your consideration (this is fiction by the way and any similarity between this story and the Manchurian Candidate from the 50s is merely a coincidence so please don't sue me):

"Money from Russia is pouring in" to the companies of a racist-acting presidential nominee. We will call him "swoop-de-doo". He is played by Nick Nolte. His hair is played by Thing.

Russian hackers, perhaps under the puppetry of a evil Russian Tsar or Dictator, played by a shaven-headed, shirtless Daniel Craig, who often rides a pony with a unicorn horn glued on, have conspired to undermine Swoop-de-doos' opposition by leaking stolen emails.

Said nominee's opposition, played by Angela Lansbury, really pissed off said tsar/dictator-ish character so not only is Russian money pouring into Swoop-de-doo's businesses, the tsar/dictator would love nothing more than to undermine Angela Lansbury revenge. The Republicans, also angry at Angela, decide to support Swoop even though he is against almost everything they stand for. Yes, the Republicans support the candidate who is calling for Russia to undermine the Democracy of the United States.

Swoop-de-doo, not once, or twice, but repeatedly calls for the Russians (or the communist Chinese) to send out those emails that they may have possibly stolen in an illegal hacking. (Yes, i know it is outlandish, but this is fiction and I can imagine all sorts of crazy things!) So, Swoop-de-doo is calling out for the Russians or the Chinese to sink his rival so he can be elected El Presidente. He promises that they will be well paid if they do it. He also pretty much gives them Ukraine. So, yeah, this is out there on a limb for believability, but lets just say that Swoop asks them to break the law, basically undermine US Democracy, they will be rewarded for it and Swoop tells Daniel Craig he is awesome. Oh, and that Ukraine thing, don't worry about it, or the sanctions. In secret Swoop sends Daniel love letters. Daniel has his friends pour money into Swoop's businesses instead of sending valentine's or flowers. They are friends. Stable Mates almost. Like a big randy Unicorn and his mate...all stabled up together.

Swoop is so enamored goes on record that the US may not stand up against Daniel Craig if they invade some other countries. He'll roll over and play stablemate. That same week Swoop asks Daniel to take down his opposition to get a reward. All those comments and promises made in just a few days time... some people might even string them together into a couple core ideas. Some people. Maybe.

Swoop has a pretty wife (played by Selena Gomez) who was an architect but ends up wasn't really an architect, but she stood in some buildings once so its the same thing. Selena, Mrs. Swoop, speaks five languages, so we are told. Mrs Swoop just happens to have been raised in a communist country. And she attended school where she took communist classes on how to be a good communist. And was taught that capitalists are super evil. And must be brought to heel. And all the while, money from recently communist countries is pouring into Mr and Mrs Swoop's businesses...giving them the income needed to self-finance a presidential election.

Wait...OK...I've gone to far. I have stepped way passed the boundaries of a believable story. I'm just going to stop there since I've lost
all credibility. You couldn't make this stuff up.... eh?