You're going to have to learn to live with and interact with people different than yourself in life. That's true for people of all races.

But, what those student(s) could have done beforehand was to connect with newly admitted high school seniors on Facebook, met a POC, become online friends, and then made a formal roommate request (explicit persons by name) preceding the Fall semester.

Living life in the US as a POC may be many things but the privileged status as a "snowflake" is not one of them. POC spend the entirety of their lives "learning to live with and interact with" white people who are afforded advantages they have done nothing to earn and at the same time remain oblivious about.

So just because they find another POC doesn't mean he/she wouldn't fuck up their "safe space" ...


Who keeps drinking my soy milk! I have to have soy or I can't focus in my safe space!

The first time their privilege is challenged and they don't know what to do.

I don't want to be around them. I will do everything I can so that they don't have to deal with me.

So why do so many other people not get that?

when I was paired with a black gal in the military, she called me a "white suburban bitch".....when I pointed out I grew up as a GI BRAT she was OK with me

if you don't want to be with someone based on their color, THAT IS RACISM

and your experience in the military sounds interesting, but one can't help but wonder if she didn't then simply regard you as a "white G.I. brat bitch". She sounds lovely.

who expressed the same preference for a white roomate, or would you be calling "racism!? I'm betting on the latter.

What unadulterated hypocrisy.

It's remarkable how hard it is for some to see this very thing.

So it's a 'privilege' to live with a black roommate?

Hilarious..Keep 'em coming.

and who one shares it with is a personal choice. That's what makes this different from an apartment owner refusing to rent to POC.

This doesn't bother me in the least, although I'm more used to roommate adverts saying "no smokers, drinkers, heavy drugs, or Republicans." That's how notices used to read in Boston when I left.

Some people want home to be home, not have to face a debating society on racism or politics when they get there. I get it.

I'm perfectly within my rights to advertise "Whites Only Need Apply."

I'll be sure to run that by AG's office here in New York.

What you'd do is simply say no to POC if you had that kind of hangup.

It's what they should have done. Next time maybe they will, it's been a tough lesson for them in what not to advertise.

"Walking Distance to Subway" in an ad for an apartment, because it's a violation of the local non-discrimination law against the disabled.

The realtor could not place the ad until I changed it.

...“Close to the Subway"...?

TYY

Once there for a couple weeks take it off-

Tricked you!

'See, this isn't segregation. It's a safe space from the evil oppressors who have absolutely nothing in common with POC. It's better for everybody this way.'

It's just someone who doesn't want to live with white folks. Some people have biases in their personal lives.

Roommates are a personal thing. I think it's like how some straight guys don't want to date heavy women and some straight women don't want to date short guys. No big deal.

What if 3 white girls wrote the same wanted notice and put white girl only in parentheses. The outrage would be epic and media going on for days over it. That is true.

I care when biases become institutionalized, such as landlords not renting to people based on skin color, but not when it's personal, such as lovers or roommates.

"White separatist".

but to some here, it seems that, if you're black or latino..Um, you're entititled to be as hostile and bigoted as you please,
because, um, 'white privilege'

I don't wear costumes of hate groups or of people I perceive as being oppressed for that reason.

Unless these guys were gay. I don't think this analogy applies.

I'm talking about mutual oppression.

may have certain preferences like this yet there is real bigotry which the same types often deny.

A non black person isn't going to be shut out of a system because of this.

for forever are upset that the tables are turned.

This is one of the big problems BLM has.

the way black or other minorites are . at least for being white.

some random black people saying things isn't equal to systemic discrimination.

I said bigotry and racism...

Do you understand the difference?

It's just racism trying to hide behind academic semantic distinctions which means nothing in real life.

based on whatever criteria they want. What's the cause for debate here? It doesn't sound like the colleges have anything to do with it.

(And even if it was university-owned housing--which it doesn't sound like--if roommate choosing is allowed then the criteria should still be up to the roommates in question...)

It's a hypocrisy thing. We have no problem saying "POC only" and find justification for the verbal hiccup. But if we saw a notice saying "No POC" we'd be going ballistic at the retrograde atavistic racist knuckle-draggers.

If people are arranging for their own housing they should be able to select roommates. In fact, they would anyway. Saying "No POC" would, just like saying "POC only," simply tell people not to waste their time by inquiring.

If it's university owned housing, then non-discrimination laws apply. The last dorm I was in had a real problem with people not wanting to room with "those people"--wrong skin color, wrong sexual orientation, wrong age, borderline personality disorders. Until it got to be a real problem with threats (and discipline for said threats) nothing was done. Your morality in those circumstances is dictated by non-discrimination law. The dorm assigned people as they wanted. If you found somebody willing to swap, and the other two roommates involved concurred, that might be acceptable. Or not, if it looked like those involved were being racist.

And then they can be critiqued for it too.

And that criticism also says a lot about the person. People who think reverse racism is a thing will probably be more likely to criticize this student, for example.

Legally, people have the 'right' to say racist things, too, and, like the student in the OP, they have the right to make racist choices in

their private life -- That being said, the fact that it's 'legal' doesn't make it any less racist.

White people are unable to speak "frankly" about race, and I know that's true in many cases, but it's not ONLY whites.who refuse to be frank. My experience on this board, especially, is that Blacks are every bit as unable to be honest about the actions and attitudes prevalent in their community. Some, iin fact, like the poster I mentioned, will go so far as to upbraid me for having the "nerve" to talk about black violent crime, even though I've been the victim of it....
There will be no progress unless BOTH sides are truly free to be open and honest,...It's the only way, white AND black "fragility' be damned.







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If it's a matter of free, individual choice, there's no cause for complaint. If it was institutionalized, however, by the university, the state or at the national level, it would be wrong.

I, (a 17 yo white guy), had a white roommate. We both knew within a day or two that we weren't suited for each other. Down the hall was a black guy, only 16, who felt the same way
about his roomie. So we switched. We became fast friends, went everywhere together,
double dated etc. Our dorm room was the scene. I learned an awful lot that year.

Other qualities are far more important.

Our bodies shape our experiences and how people react to us. This is one of the reasons so many people want to lose weight. Different body, different experience, different self.

I do not agree that it makes a profound difference in the ability of people to like each other, work together, live together, etc. Other qualities - kindness, generosity, honesty, liking the same things - are more important.

others who are marginalized for the same reason (skin color, sexual orientation, etc.) because they feel safer. They just want to relax when they get home.

I still think it's good to work toward more integration, but I now understand why people can't be faulted for wanting home to feel 'safe.'

... it's institutionalized like what happened in the South.

If some black person doesn't want me around him/her, it's no skin off my nose.

Even though you think you are giving power to POCs, what you are really doing is giving the bigots and racists exactly what they want....a segregated society. And history shows that a segregated society is NEVER equal. NEVER.

When you divide society into social groups, only bad things come from that. That's basic social psychology at work.

I wrote another comment below to explain my position better. I'm heading out the door and can't go into it further right now.

Why would a POC who supports BLM not want to reduce the odds of having a roommate who responds with "all lives matter?" This seems to me to be about avoiding potential conflict.

How many DUers would want to live with a Trump supporter?

as it is.

When we all know that the number of white people who are truly supportive of POC and especially, BLM is small enough that paring down the population to be interviewed will save everyone from wasting time and energy.

The way the BLM movement is derided and devalued even among progressives show exactly why someone might feel it is necessary.

over. Not really justifiable.

In addition, I would imagine prospective roommates with such views as you mentioned wouldn't even bother applying to live with a POC.

who deny it's relevance (not to mention those who are outright racists) to make it so ridiculous to for a POC to want to avoid the risk of having to put the energy into dealing with such a person? One of the questions in unpacking privilege is about how much time you spend with people who look like yourself. White people have a choice to never in their lives interact with a POC. The same is not true for POC who are watching and having the horrifying experiences in todays USA. People want to be around others who share their grief and frustration. It's like how some people only want family around after a relative dies.

interact with those of their perceived race, but its not completely effortless, not even for white people.

I mean, I guess its possible if you lived in extremely rural areas that have hardly any non-white people in them, hell, there are a few states like that, but for the majority of white people? I don't think so. Even I, who was raised in one of the whitest counties in Missouri still had everyday interactions with POC growing up, both in school and, later on at work.

Granted, since then I've moved closer to the city, but it never really registered with me that this is significant unless someone brings it up. Though, back when I was a security guard, I was the only white person at that post, out of 9 people(3 per shift). They called me their token and we used to laugh about that, we also hung out a lot after work. But, from my first job out of high school to today, never had a job where I didn't have to interact with POC on some level or another. Where I'm currently employed both my supervisor and manager are POC, and women as well, and frankly, I forget about the significance of that.

If I were to try to restrict my social and professional activities so I didn't have to interact with any POC, I guess it would have been possible, but I would have shut out most employment prospects, most social prospects(including dating) and even family members, I have a niece and nephew who are POC.

The question is, I guess, isn't how many white people don't interact with POC, but how many interact on any level beyond being acquaintances. But the same could be said about POC choosing to not attempt to know any white people as well.

White people make up the majority of people everyone HAS to interact with.

Bureaucrats, doctors, nurses, shool teachers and administrators, and of course police etc. There is no way around interacting with white people.
Ask for a different doctor or go to a different window, etc. There's always a white person on deck if that is a preference.

With current demographics this is largely a given, though there are ways to minimize your interaction with groups you have a prejudice against. Not to mention with the demographic shifts occurring nationwide, white people are going to be less numerous as time goes on, at least compared to POC.

I would say that overrepresentation, particularly in jobs of authority, such as police, is a concern. Police forces should reflect the communities they police.

The point is white people have more choices than people of color when it comes to who they interact with. POC live their lives with different (not to mention more) dangers. Shared experience matters and I think POC are the best judge of what is going to be best for their well being when it comes to living arrangements.

certain population density, its quite difficult to avoid contact with other races if you are white. Easier than for POC, yes, but not by as much as you think. We aren't a white nation, or a black nation, or a latino nation, we are just us.

Frankly, I don't care about how they set up their living arrangements, but if you are going to be racist like this, keep it private, or don't, going public with your racism is a great way to hinder your own personal advancement, restrict your employment prospects, etc.

it was a freaking facebook post.

Posted by a student on a campus that has experienced racial discrimination. Why in the hell a white person had to respond in such a huff is still beyond me. And the fact that this has now gone viral, and people are ignoring the racial discrimination that has happened at that campus is sickening.

The student is not a racist. She's just sick and tired of all the shit she's been subjected to on that particular campus. I don't blame her.

Calling out that student, and calling her a racist, is ignoring the whole reason of why she made the post to begin with.

I'm white. And I'm sick and tired of my fellow white people being offending by shit that does not effect or concern them at all. She didn't want a white roommate, it's completely understandable given the circumstances at the campus.

Boo freaking hoo. Get over it white people. You have no reason to be insulted. She does. We will never get anywhere until we all wake up and realize that racism does exist and there is a reason why she was not comfortable with a white roommate. That is the main point, not your hurt feelings.

and I'm a white woman.

There's not a lot of privacy, and if you don't get along with your roomie, no matter what the reason, you're in for a year of hell.

I wonder if there were requests for roomates either of one religion or not of a specific religion (Only Jews, or Not a Wiccan). Or a vegan roomate. And how those requests would be perceived.

It was three students seeking a roommate for an off-campus apartment, and advertising their request on Facebook. I'm not seeing an issue here, really...

And yes, people arranging their own housing are free to make sure they have only the sorts of roomates they want.

I'm still feeling my way around here, but so far I'm getting a nice reception from everyone.

Glad to see everything is okay.

I found out the hard way about this while I was in the service.

Bad roommates are a living hell.

The standard was 40-50 roommates in an open bay barracks.

In our barracks, we routinely had two to a room.

and it should not be encouraged by whatever institution but.......meh.

It's a good learning experience for all.

Some people prefer others who resemble them. They aren't the best of us........but they exist.

If colleges give in to assholes like this girl, what's stopping other students from picking out roomates based on race/ethnicity/religion? How about a straight student asking for no gays as roomies or a Jewish student asking for no Muslims? See what I mean, this safe space bullshit is a slipperly slope to discrimination and segregation.

And the college president does the expected thing and spends his sound bite extolling the virtue of two new classes that will solve everything.

Nothing wrong if it's 3 white people doing it, 3 Asian people doing it, whatever. If you don't want to live with white folk, or black folk, or any folk, it's a pro-choice situation.

That's where the subjectivity of existence gets fun.

white FEMALE roommate. My husband is white and I wouldn't mind a white male roommate. But a white female? Nope, no, nah, hell to the no.

With that said, I think the student was wrong to post POC only on a site that is open to all peeps. We're supposed to be #BlackExcellence and there's nothing excellent about discrimination.

... African Americans and whites of opposite genders seem to tolerate each other better, but there's generally more intolerance among the same genders.

I'm a white male, and in my case it was easier to get along with African American females because they were friendlier to me right away.

I used to think it was mostly related to a greater distrust among males due to fear of physical conflict, but I later noticed that females didn't freely interact with each other as often either.

It obviously wasn't universal behavior, but instead a general trend.

sadly, even among some women.

All oppressed people tend to internalize the disesteem in which they are held..Some recognize it,

and try to rid society (and themselves) of it, and some never wake up..

Two of my roommates in college were Black, and I was grateful for the diversity they added to my education. IMO, you're missing out by pushing out an entire group of people away from you.

Personally, I would be much more interested in the personality of a potential roommate than their gender, ethnicity, nationality, or sexual orientation. Our personalities divide us much more than those superficial differences.

Pathetic.

And all of a sudden your husband starts spending a lot of time with him...I mean- A lot of time. Things happen...

Doesn't just have to be a pretty white girl

Apparently it is perfectly acceptable to both support and fight against segregation. Unbelievable.

it's a personal preference, don'tcha know - JAYSUS

Definition: The ability to hold contradictory positions on one issue and believe both are true.

I had red hair and freckles as a child and was mistreated by other students and teachers in various ways.

I went from blonde to red to brown (losing the freckles at that point), and the red-haired period was easily the worst.

However, I never encountered water fountains marked "red haired only." I also didn't have the sense that I would actually be lynched or that people of other hair colors would called "ginger lovers" for being friendly to me.

I personally think that, because of this country's terrible history of institutionalized racism, it was necessary to take strong measures to help break it down. Beyond that, people are going to have their preferences and steps to improve relations can only go so far.

No different than some White Supremacist demanding only a white roommate.

If that was the case I suspect the over all tone of this thread would be vastly different. As another pointed the cognitive dissonance on display is remarkable.

so before I get flamed, after reading some of the responses - I'm sort of saddened. I mean this is DU.

Bias - left unchecked, even amplified and legitimized through acceptance, is exactly how we reverse any progress made by those who have, and continue to fight for equality and civil rights.

And when I speak of Bias - I am speaking about all of us in our our day to day lives, we all have biases, and unless we are called out on it, we will naturally continue to be blind to them, and subsequently the damage our bias leaves behind.

So I will speak out against this bias, otherwise I will have silently approved of it.

In my opinion only there was no need to add a line of (POC only) and the school acted positively to call out their students bias when it didn't need to. I have attached the full statement:

Pitzer President Melvin Oliver — a sociologist who is an expert on racial inequality — sent a message to the campus community Wednesday about the housing ad and the debate it sparked. It read, in part:

While Pitzer is a community of individuals passionately engaged in establishing intracultural safe spaces for marginalized groups, the Facebook post and several subsequent comments are inconsistent with our Mission and values. …

This is but another example to us that social media is not an effective platform to engage in complex dialog on seemingly intractable critical issues that have varied histories and contested understandings. They create more heat than light and invite extreme viewpoints that intentionally obfuscate the nuanced context that surrounds these issues. Pitzer offers its new 2-course Intercultural Understanding requirement and dedicates new curricular and extra curricular programming to address difficult issues of racism, diversity, community discourse and national and international political conflict.

They're not used to having the shoe on the other foot.

White people (and apparently only white people) got to be racist for a long time and now it's someone else's turn?