Ah, the glory daze. Maybe it's the drugs speaking or was he being stroked by the coach who know his daddy was rich?

Especially: And with those painful bonespurs in your feet...Oh how you must have suffered.

due to certain chemicals contained in orange-spray tan that are also active ingredients in PEDs...

I thought he was the greatest philosopher ever, according to his favorite student, Socrates.

I helped Noah build that Ark (it'll win with the Christians)
I decided the AL would use a DH, while NL pitchers still have to bat. (Shows that you like the National Pastime)
I shot the sheriff but I didn't shoot the deputy (helps with the Reggae crowd)

But, you know, bone spurs in his foot.