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11 Bravo

(23,926 posts)
Thu Sep 22, 2016, 05:26 PM Sep 2016

I just had as much fun as I've ever had with my clothes on.

After returning home from work, I found a message on my answering machine from the IRS! Apparently I'm in danger of having my checking and savings accounts frozen, and then being sent to prison!
Fully aware of the scam, and with a bit of time to kill, I called the number left for me. Much to my surprise, all I had to do was provide my bank routing number, or a credit card payment of $350 dollars, and all of my transgressions would be forgiven.
I was seriously contrite, along the lines of "Oh my goodness, I've always tried to be a responsible citizen", and "I would never intentionally attempt to defraud the IRS!" The gentleman on the other end was extremely solicitous, and assured me that we could make this problem go away. I was able to keep him on the line for about another ten minutes or so as we discussed the most efficient method for me to resolve my problem.
Eventually, I got bored, so I said to the man, "You know, sir, I know how to immediately resolve the issue. You need to eat shit, fuck yourself, and die!"
He sputtered for a bit, allowing me to beat him to the hang-up.
I know, simple pleasures for simple minds, but DAMN I enjoyed that!

51 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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I just had as much fun as I've ever had with my clothes on. (Original Post) 11 Bravo Sep 2016 OP
Heck, I called the number, and the 'Internal Revenue Services' didn't answer!!! elleng Sep 2016 #1
Sme happened to me Lebam in LA Sep 2016 #18
I had some similar fun today with one of those calls about my Windows computer. tonyt53 Sep 2016 #2
I am glad you had a good time Angry Dragon Sep 2016 #3
I hope everyone knows that the IRS will never call you first PJMcK Sep 2016 #4
'WE' know this, elleng Sep 2016 #5
"....many don't." sarge43 Sep 2016 #22
Right, and I'm afraid this is happening all over the country. elleng Sep 2016 #23
It's been reported over and over. PoindexterOglethorpe Sep 2016 #34
Right, my daughter didn't know about it (busy with a 2 year old) elleng Sep 2016 #35
I understand busy lives, PoindexterOglethorpe Sep 2016 #36
Exactly! The IRS will always send a notice first ... 11 Bravo Sep 2016 #7
The actual IRS DID call me before they sent notice by mail. Ligyron Sep 2016 #27
1997... That was before the internet took off... ecstatic Sep 2016 #42
I have done similar things and sooooo Enjoyed Myself !!!! alittlelark Sep 2016 #6
Can I get your full name, please? gratuitous Sep 2016 #8
If we all told them to wait while we get our credit card...and left phone hanging... lostnfound Sep 2016 #46
I've filled out the scam report on the "do not call list" about three different phone numbers. SleeplessinSoCal Sep 2016 #9
I always like to mention thst my friend the county sheriff stopped by for a visit rurallib Sep 2016 #10
This message was self-deleted by its author mark67 Sep 2016 #11
Will those damn calls never cease?? ailsagirl Sep 2016 #12
This message was self-deleted by its author kestrel91316 Sep 2016 #13
Offer to mail him a check, rounded up to $400. Ilsa Sep 2016 #14
We had one from the Dept. of the Treasury yesterday stopwastingmymoney Sep 2016 #15
This message was self-deleted by its author mark67 Sep 2016 #16
I've tried this too. peasant one Sep 2016 #17
"hello caller, you're live on the air" IcyPeas Sep 2016 #19
ooo I LIKE that one! annabanana Sep 2016 #40
Haaaaaaaaaaaaa shenmue Sep 2016 #51
Based on the "IRS" calls I've received, they've outsourced a lot of stuff to India, Nye Bevan Sep 2016 #20
I would just mention that I work for the IRS IrishEyes Sep 2016 #21
I always tell them ROFF Sep 2016 #24
If I ever get one of those calls, sarge43 Sep 2016 #25
I gave one of those answers mainstreetonce Sep 2016 #26
Police association called me today liberal N proud Sep 2016 #28
I got the "Association of Highway Patrolman" mitch96 Sep 2016 #38
This is why we ditched the landline. Ligyron Sep 2016 #29
I haven't tried football, but I've found streams for Euro sports. alfredo Sep 2016 #33
Two suggestions Lochloosa Sep 2016 #45
My dad likes to demand a $1 million credit limit from card companies that call him. BobbyDrake Sep 2016 #30
I'm surprised no one here is giving you shit for making some poor scammer's life difficult. Warren DeMontague Sep 2016 #31
Try this one.... Spitfire of ATJ Sep 2016 #32
lol - i get those weekly! CarrieLynne Sep 2016 #37
Word of caution marked50 Sep 2016 #39
A friend of mine called me panicking about that ecstatic Sep 2016 #41
Some "officer from the court" was telling me they would be at my house to arrest me Maraya1969 Sep 2016 #43
I would say, "hold on while I get paper and a pen" central scrutinizer Sep 2016 #44
I had those calls a few years back titaniumsalute Sep 2016 #47
Be careful ohtransplant Sep 2016 #48
Something I like to do: VulgarPoet Sep 2016 #49
"oh my, that sounds serious--- hold on, just one second dear" Warren DeMontague Sep 2016 #50

elleng

(131,077 posts)
1. Heck, I called the number, and the 'Internal Revenue Services' didn't answer!!!
Thu Sep 22, 2016, 05:30 PM
Sep 2016


Was hoping to have a similar exchange as you, was thinking of telling them 'I'm calling the Department of Justice, tell THAT to your supervisor!'

Lebam in LA

(1,345 posts)
18. Sme happened to me
Thu Sep 22, 2016, 06:33 PM
Sep 2016

I called the number back and some lady just answered "hello". I said sorry I was trying to get the IRS and of course all of a sudden she was the IRS. I told her she was a crook and her number had been reported. Surprisingly, she hung up

 

tonyt53

(5,737 posts)
2. I had some similar fun today with one of those calls about my Windows computer.
Thu Sep 22, 2016, 05:30 PM
Sep 2016

I asked him if he could replace just the broken pane of the window. He had no idea and started to say something else, but I beat him at the click too!

PJMcK

(22,048 posts)
4. I hope everyone knows that the IRS will never call you first
Thu Sep 22, 2016, 05:34 PM
Sep 2016

They can only return your call. If everyone knows this, the scam is dead.

I love your story, 11 Bravo! Thanks for sharing it.

elleng

(131,077 posts)
5. 'WE' know this,
Thu Sep 22, 2016, 05:38 PM
Sep 2016

but unfortunately many don't. These guys probably 'earn' a pretty penny from this scam.

sarge43

(28,943 posts)
22. "....many don't."
Thu Sep 22, 2016, 07:12 PM
Sep 2016

My friend in Florida has a neighbor who immigrated from the Middle East a few years ago. Neighbor got one of those calls and freaked. She was terrified. Fortunately, she came to my friend for help before she did anything. Friend gave her the straight skinny and told her to ignore it.

If it hadn't been for my friend, neighbor might have been robbed blind.

elleng

(131,077 posts)
23. Right, and I'm afraid this is happening all over the country.
Thu Sep 22, 2016, 07:15 PM
Sep 2016

It's time to start reporting this. I've been getting the calls for the past week, daily. Today's the first day I returned their call, but received no response. ACTION, next.

PoindexterOglethorpe

(25,894 posts)
34. It's been reported over and over.
Thu Sep 22, 2016, 08:10 PM
Sep 2016

Unfortunately, too many people never read a newspaper or watch any news at all or consult any source of any information whatsoever, it's slipped underneath the radar of too many people.

I'm thinking I've known about this for two years or so. Likewise the phone call from Microsoft. That's been out there even longer.

elleng

(131,077 posts)
35. Right, my daughter didn't know about it (busy with a 2 year old)
Thu Sep 22, 2016, 08:16 PM
Sep 2016

until she called me, the mother/lawyer.

PoindexterOglethorpe

(25,894 posts)
36. I understand busy lives,
Thu Sep 22, 2016, 08:17 PM
Sep 2016

having at one point had a 2 year old of my own, but this is something I keep on reading about in lots of places, not just here on DU.

11 Bravo

(23,926 posts)
7. Exactly! The IRS will always send a notice first ...
Thu Sep 22, 2016, 05:40 PM
Sep 2016

and will never demand payment over the phone.

Ligyron

(7,639 posts)
27. The actual IRS DID call me before they sent notice by mail.
Thu Sep 22, 2016, 07:21 PM
Sep 2016

Wanted to make sure they had the right address/ my phone number and told me I was being audited. They did audit me too!

This was in 97 so maybe they changed their policy or this particular agent screwed up but it happened for sure.

ecstatic

(32,729 posts)
42. 1997... That was before the internet took off...
Thu Sep 22, 2016, 10:00 PM
Sep 2016

Or perhaps right when the net was taking off. Back then there was nowhere near the level of scams and phishing as we have now.

gratuitous

(82,849 posts)
8. Can I get your full name, please?
Thu Sep 22, 2016, 05:47 PM
Sep 2016

If that question doesn't cause them to hang up, I go on to "And what is the name of your company? Is that a corporation, an LLC or an LLP? Where are you located? You don't know? How do you get to work in the morning, if you don't know where you are? Can I speak to your supervisor?" When the supervisor comes on the line, start all over again. Don't yell, don't be abrupt. Speak in a nice, even tone. They'll be gone before you know it.

lostnfound

(16,189 posts)
46. If we all told them to wait while we get our credit card...and left phone hanging...
Fri Sep 23, 2016, 09:42 AM
Sep 2016

It would cut down on the number of people they could disturb in a day.

SleeplessinSoCal

(9,138 posts)
9. I've filled out the scam report on the "do not call list" about three different phone numbers.
Thu Sep 22, 2016, 05:56 PM
Sep 2016

Exactly the same auto voice message "this is IRS ......" The Do Not Call registry ask how much was I scammed for. I write "nothing". But maybe I should say a million dollars. Maybe then they'll return my call.

rurallib

(62,445 posts)
10. I always like to mention thst my friend the county sheriff stopped by for a visit
Thu Sep 22, 2016, 06:01 PM
Sep 2016

and he had a couple of questions.

Done this 3 times and each time I get quickly disconnected.

Response to 11 Bravo (Original post)

Response to 11 Bravo (Original post)

Ilsa

(61,697 posts)
14. Offer to mail him a check, rounded up to $400.
Thu Sep 22, 2016, 06:13 PM
Sep 2016

Get address, send cops.
I know, it probably wouldn't work.

stopwastingmymoney

(2,042 posts)
15. We had one from the Dept. of the Treasury yesterday
Thu Sep 22, 2016, 06:15 PM
Sep 2016

They left a voicemail saying that charges would be filed if we didn't call back

I know better and it still made me nervous

Response to 11 Bravo (Original post)

peasant one

(150 posts)
17. I've tried this too.
Thu Sep 22, 2016, 06:29 PM
Sep 2016

I have stopped taking calls--I wait for the answering machine to pick up.... BUT....for a long time I would take the calls and interrupt them and say how glad I was they called then I would start talking without waiting for their spiel ---about the book I was reading...the flowers in my yard ....the loveliness of the day. It was fun and quite exhilarating, I felt as if I were on stage. As I was describing one book I was reading the person (with a foreign accent that I couldn't identify) on the other end ask for the name of the book. So perhaps not all in vain---I stopped because the calls just kept a coming and a coming.

IcyPeas

(21,901 posts)
19. "hello caller, you're live on the air"
Thu Sep 22, 2016, 06:34 PM
Sep 2016

that usually scares them.

I've gotten a handful of calls from the IRS saying they have filed a lawsuit against me, blah, blach blach.

I filled out that scam report too, but I still got/get calls once in a while with the same message.

It could be scary for people who don't realize it's a scam.

Nye Bevan

(25,406 posts)
20. Based on the "IRS" calls I've received, they've outsourced a lot of stuff to India,
Thu Sep 22, 2016, 06:50 PM
Sep 2016

and they have a new policy where they will accept iTunes gift cards to pay back taxes.

It's not your father's IRS anymore.

IrishEyes

(3,275 posts)
21. I would just mention that I work for the IRS
Thu Sep 22, 2016, 07:11 PM
Sep 2016

or maybe the FBI. I don't have to tell the truth. I hate people who scam other people for money. They prey on the elderly, poor, desperate and uneducated. The scammers and con artists are scumbags.

ROFF

(219 posts)
24. I always tell them
Thu Sep 22, 2016, 07:16 PM
Sep 2016

that they are damming their souls to the eternal fire of hell for lying for money.

sarge43

(28,943 posts)
25. If I ever get one of those calls,
Thu Sep 22, 2016, 07:18 PM
Sep 2016

I'm going to call back and say (in my best little old lady voice), "Dear, why didn't you tell your mother that you're a thief and you're working for thieves?"

liberal N proud

(60,340 posts)
28. Police association called me today
Thu Sep 22, 2016, 07:28 PM
Sep 2016

I told them that as long as their organization endorsed Trump, they could stop calling me.

mitch96

(13,924 posts)
38. I got the "Association of Highway Patrolman"
Thu Sep 22, 2016, 08:25 PM
Sep 2016

The calls from these bozo's stopped when I said I would contribute (in my best southern accent) when they stopped shooting black people... There was a long pause and he said thankyou and hung up.. Before this I would ask to speak to a cop or give me a phone number for a cop... Another ploy is to say "can you hold for a second" and just put the phone down and continue with what you were doing.. Eventually they hang up.. They waste your time? I waste theirs...
HeHe... that was fun...
m

Ligyron

(7,639 posts)
29. This is why we ditched the landline.
Thu Sep 22, 2016, 07:32 PM
Sep 2016

Comcast even charged you MORE if you didn't take their landline deal. Literally every call was someone selling something.

Then we ditched Comcast.

Truth be known I'd just as soon cut the cable, er. satellite now 'cause pretty much all anyone does here is time shift due to repetitive commercials and shitty programming. If I want to watch something I stream.

I'd miss football games on Sunday tho'.

alfredo

(60,075 posts)
33. I haven't tried football, but I've found streams for Euro sports.
Thu Sep 22, 2016, 07:56 PM
Sep 2016

I've been watching pro cycling and Formula 1 racing. For a while I watching T20 cricket which is very entertaining.

 

BobbyDrake

(2,542 posts)
30. My dad likes to demand a $1 million credit limit from card companies that call him.
Thu Sep 22, 2016, 07:38 PM
Sep 2016

That leaves them stuttering too!

marked50

(1,368 posts)
39. Word of caution
Thu Sep 22, 2016, 09:27 PM
Sep 2016

I, too, have had these scam calls but be careful in your response. I responded in a somewhat similar manner and asked the simple question as to how they could sleep at night, knowing that they were cheating people. They started calling more frequently. Tried blabber, tried German, tried all sorts of thing to discourage them but it only got worse. They called 2 to 3 times a day, different numbers each time, and just harassed me (strangely not on Saturdays or Sundays). We are talking months now. Finally I just dropped my land line ( had planned on this anyway). These people are a scourge. Might feel good to give them a hard time but you might just be asking for problems.

ecstatic

(32,729 posts)
41. A friend of mine called me panicking about that
Thu Sep 22, 2016, 09:53 PM
Sep 2016

They threatened her with jail time if she didn't make a payment by the end of the day. I tried to assure her that the real IRS doesn't operate that way. Scammers have been calling and leaving me threatening voice mails as well. I wanted to have some fun with them and finally picked up but it was a robocall that included a callback number. I didn't bother to call back.

Maraya1969

(22,495 posts)
43. Some "officer from the court" was telling me they would be at my house to arrest me
Thu Sep 22, 2016, 10:13 PM
Sep 2016

for buying drugs online or something so I said, "Ok well let me take a shower first"

And he hung up.


The money in these scams is drying up methinks.

central scrutinizer

(11,661 posts)
44. I would say, "hold on while I get paper and a pen"
Thu Sep 22, 2016, 10:31 PM
Sep 2016

Then put the phone down and go back to what I was doing. Eventually the phone would make the receiver off the hook sound and I would hang it up.

titaniumsalute

(4,742 posts)
47. I had those calls a few years back
Fri Sep 23, 2016, 09:49 AM
Sep 2016

On my cell...the first one was a voicemail like yours. Of course I just deleted and moved on.

A few days later I had a real person call with some sort of Indian or Middle Eastern accent. It was hysterical. He kept saying "You are in serious trouble" and "You will be sent to jail." I started cracking up laughing and he was getting more pissed off and threatening me. I said "Send me your checking account number and I will wire my money into that right away." Silence. Then he went right back on script with "You are in SERIOUS trouble." Told him to fuck off and I hung up. I don't think they ever called back.

ohtransplant

(1,488 posts)
48. Be careful
Fri Sep 23, 2016, 03:42 PM
Sep 2016

I've read that sometimes they call local 911 (spoofing your home caller ID info) on a separate line while you're still on the phone. When the local police arrive people rush to pay before opening the door.

IRS advice on handling these scams; https://www.irs.gov/uac/newsroom/phone-scams-continue-to-be-a-serious-threat-remain-on-irs-dirty-dozen-list-of-tax-scams-for-the-2016-filing-season?_ga=1.139648051.1057560138.1471900181

Also because they're impersonating a Treasury official, you can report these calls to the treasury Inspector General for tax Administration. https://www.treasury.gov/tigta/contact_report_scam.shtml

VulgarPoet

(2,872 posts)
49. Something I like to do:
Fri Sep 23, 2016, 04:07 PM
Sep 2016

"Hi, welcome to Sam's Shop of Smut and Pornography; we got thirty-seven perversions, count 'em, thirty-seven; today's special is all grannies half off-- may I be able to interest you in German dungeon femdom, or maybe some prime Japanese monster porn?"

Has to be delivered like a carnival barker, fast enough to leave their head spinning-- but every so often, you do get to pick up some amazing sputterings and/or apologoies.

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