Mittens, ankle bracelet for the hands, are what Trump needs

By John Kelso
Humor columnist, Austin American-Statesman

I’ve come up with the simple solution to Donald “Hot Lips” Trump’s groping problem: mittens.

That’s right: big, fuzzy yarn mittens. He should be required to wear them whenever he leaves the house. Why? Lots of luck getting much of a feel with those boogers on.

We’re talking sort of an ankle bracelet for the hands, folks.

The Donald really does need help. A few years ago he was taped telling us that he’s such a “star” that he can strut up to any woman he wants, grab her where the sun don’t shine, and she’d go for it. He says he baited a married gal by taking her “furniture shopping.”

Read more: http://www.mystatesman.com/news/news/local/kelso-mittens-ankle-bracelet-for-the-hands-are-wha/nsqfk/