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Initech

(100,079 posts) Wed Oct 19, 2016, 12:09 PM Oct 2016

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #46: Wheel O’Corruption X: Never Go Back Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #46: Wheel O’Corruption X: Never Go Back Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! This edition of the Top 10 Conservative Idiots was made possible by a grant from the Chubb! Group in association with the Fillmore Complex. Chubb and Fillmore: An alliance fit for the ages. But before we continue – we would like to get your attention. Do you know what you are missing out on by continuing to view the Top 10 without a generous donation? That’s right – your generous donation (in whatever amount, we’re not picky) – will get you this commemorative tote bag. A donation of $40 will get you the official Top 10 Tote Bag and the Top 10 Coffee Mug. A donation of $75 will get you all of the above, plus this David Crosby Greatest Hits collection. A donation of $100 will get you all of the above, plus we will throw in a DVD about the 100 Places You Must Visit In Hokkaido, Japan Before You Die. Ah, that’s enough of that nonsense.. Let’s get to it, shall we? But first – Stephen Colbert says what we're all thinking in regards to Donald Trump's insane conspiracy theories:

Holy shit. I mean seriously – holy shit. Did we ever imagine that the Donald Trump campaign would be channeling Rush Limbaugh and Bill Cosby? Well this edition is going to get real dark real quick, folks, and the cure for that is to bring out the Wheel O’Corruption. Yayyyyyyyyyy!!!!!! The kids love the wheel don’t they? Well the top 4 slots this week are all going to go to returning champion and (hopefully not anymore, we’re hoping) possible future president Donald J. Trump. The first two slots – we’re going to talk about Donald Trump going in a full meltdown over Alec Baldwin’s portrayal of him on Saturday Night Live. In the second slot there’s more about his repore with women – and it’s not very good! We are going to go down the wormhole on this one and it is going to get real dark real quick. In the number 3 slot we’re going to talk about Donald Trump and the family values party – specifically Liberty University. In the number 4 slot – we’re going to talk about Donald Trump’s dangerous rhetoric about election rigging. In slot number 5, we’re going to have another installment of “People Who Somehow Got Elected” – this week we’re talking about Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio (5). This is going to be a good one! Taking the sixth slot is the GOP Anti-Women Brigade (6). So Rush Limbaugh and other conservatives are actively trying to justify Donald Trump’s disgusting behavior toward women, and failing big time! In the number 7 slot – one of our favorite punching bags – Martin Shkreli (7) is back and attempted to hold a “get together” with his fans at an upscale New York bar, only to have it backfire on him big time. In the number 8 slot is our favorite punching bag - Infowars! So Alex Jones got name checked in a new ad by Hillary Clinton, and he’s pissed! Break out the popcorn! Plus he also made an absurd claim that Hillary Clinton was possessed by demons. In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week we’re going to talk about the rise and now fall of undecided voter Ken Bone (9). So in one week Ken Bone went from nobody to superstar to blithering racist. It is the work of insanity. We almost feel sorry for the guy. But it is the work of the internet at its’ finest. And really – we’re three weeks away from the GE, and how can you be undecided at this point? Finally this week, we’re going to lighten things up and talk about Halloween Costumes (10). Did you get yours yet? Halloween is a mere 13 days away and we’ve got some ideas for you! And because you’re nice for listening to my schtick this week – how about some more live music. I know what you’re thinking. “But Initech, we’ve only had 3 live bands on and they’re all dudes. When are lady musicians going to be represented?” *Donald Trump voice* *SNIFF* WRONG!!! You’re wrong!!! You’re stupid losers!!!! Well ask and ye shall receive! How about some live music from Halsey? Her new album “Badlands” is crazy good. Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

[font size="8"]Donald Trump[/font]

Come on everybody say it with me. It’s time for the WHEEL OF CORRUPTION!!!! Yayyyyyyyyy!!!

And of course if we had a bigger budget we’d have our own graphics and theme music. The wheel is back everybody!! yes just like last time I’ll talk about whatever the wheel lands on. And just like the last time, we too shall have terrible sequel titles with each edition of the Wheel. This week's title comes from the new Jack Reacher sequel "Never Go Back". But remember that if it lands on the Guacamole option that it costs $1.50 extra. So this week the items on the wheel will be:

- Gun Nuts
- Go Directly To Jail
- Clip Without Context
- Guacamole
- 5,000
- Dating
- Music
- Community Chest
- Bankrupt
- Undecided Voters
- Halloween
- Chance
- Buy A Vowel
- Donald Trump
- My Wife
- Bathrooms
- Whammy
- A Recent Study
- Aliens
- Guns
- VR Headset
- Misogyny
- Late Breaking News
- People Who Somehow Got Elected
- 10,000
- How Is This Still A Thing?
- Fox News
- Jersey Shore
- 15,000
- New Products
- Congress
- Conspiracy Theories
- Booze
- Something random in the news
- ??? (Mystery)
- Florida (Obviously)
- Infowars
- Lightning Round
- Bonus Spin

So let’s get this going. Spin that shit! No whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy…. STOP!!! Conspiracy theories!

No that was a scene from the movie Conspiracy Theory starring Mel Gibson. Spin it again! And it lands on… Donald Trump. So combining conspiracy theories and Donald Trump is like shooting fish in a barrel, it’s really impossible to miss. Well the Trump campaign went full-on batshit tin foil hat mode this last week because of what else? Saturday Night Live. Let’s explain.

Donald Trump thinks that even "Saturday Night Live" is part of a media conspiracy to bring down his presidential candidacy.
Saturday night, SNL opened with a mocking reenactment of the second presidential debate. The parody included the moderators taking shots, a kung fu style greeting between Trump and Hillary Clinton and an ode to town hall questioner -- and 15-minute celebrity -- Ken Bone.

But the biggest laughs came from Alec Baldwin's portrayal of a stalking, lewd, deceptive Trump. The live SNL audience was cracking up, but apparently the real Trump wasn't.

In a tweet, the Republican nominee said that Baldwin's portrayal "stinks." He also called on NBC to end its "boring and unfunny" show. And he said that SNL was trying to rig the election against him.

Watched Saturday Night Live hit job on me.Time to retire the boring and unfunny show. Alec Baldwin portrayal stinks. Media rigging election!
http://money.cnn.com/2016/10/16/media/donald-trump-snl/

So let’s show that clip shall we?

And Donald’s response? “Saturday Night Live is a boring unfunny show. Alec Baldwin is a stupid loser, and the show is painfully unfunny and should be cancelled! Lorne Michaels should be thrown in jail, OK? Because when I am in charge freedom of speech will be only for stupid losers!” Oh wait, he actually did say that!

Donald Trump thinks that even "Saturday Night Live" is part of a media conspiracy to bring down his presidential candidacy.

Saturday night, SNL opened with a mocking reenactment of the second presidential debate. The parody included the moderators taking shots, a kung fu style greeting between Trump and Hillary Clinton and an ode to town hall questioner -- and 15-minute celebrity -- Ken Bone.

But the biggest laughs came from Alec Baldwin's portrayal of a stalking, lewd, deceptive Trump. The live SNL audience was cracking up, but apparently the real Trump wasn't.

In a tweet, the Republican nominee said that Baldwin's portrayal "stinks." He also called on NBC to end its "boring and unfunny" show. And he said that SNL was trying to rig the election against him.
http://money.cnn.com/2016/10/16/media/donald-trump-snl/

Can we throw that Tweet up there?

That looks like it was made with the Fake Trump Tweet Generator, wasn’t it? Well I could make that same Tweet!

If I were to make one I would do this:

It’s getting harder to tell the difference between a “Saturday Night Live” presidential election sketch and the real televised thing. In last night’s Town Hall Debate cold open, Kate McKinnon and Alec Baldwin continued to perfect their Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump portrayals, with McKinnon narrating Clinton’s meticulous physical preparation (“I’d like to open this debate with a casual lean,” she says, sliding down the front of the pointless podium) and Baldwin turning Trump’s lurking behind Clinton during her responses into a surreal “Jaws” moment.

Did you think you were getting out of this sketch without a Ken Bone moment? Think again. Thanks, Bobby Moynihan!

The real Donald Trump? Was not impressed.
http://www.salon.com/2016/10/16/watch-snls-hillary-clinton-say-something-nice-about-donald-trump-i-do-like-how-generous-he-is-just-last-friday-he-handed-me-this-election/

Gee, ya think? Well you could not create a character like Donald Trump. In fact Lewis Black said it best in his special that aired last week – “How do you satirize that which is already satirtical?”. That is an excellet point Lewis!

The GOP nominee demonstrated how thin-skinned he is on Sunday morning by blasting the show for mocking him.

The brash businessman tweeted out his anger by first claiming that “SNL” had performed a “hit job” on him.

He also said Alec Baldwin’s portrayal of him “stinks” and that it was “time to retire the boring and unfunny show.” Trump conveniently forgot, however, that he actually hosted the show just 11 months ago in November 2015.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/donald-trump-baldwin-snl-tweet_us_58036193e4b0162c043c7692

Wait until he finds this show!

Damn it!

[font size="8"]Donald Trump[/font]

Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin! And it lands on…………………. Wait for it………… Aliens!

More specifically alien conspiracy theories. So Wikileaks failed to deliver on their big “October Surprise” against Hillary Clinton. But you know what they did deliver? Something equally as insane – former Blink 182 guitarist Tom Delonge apparently asked Hillary Clinton what she thought about aliens. This is real! That happened!

Tom DeLonge decided to walk a different — extraterrestrial — path last year when he parted ways with his band, Blink-182.

In a recent interview with Mic, the singer and guitarist said he left the band to investigate aliens, although he does not like to use that word.

"First of all, we don't really call it 'aliens,'" he explained. "In pop culture, that's a term people throw out there, and rightfully so because the government spends a lot of time and a lot of money throwing that term out there. But it's much more complex than that."

DeLonge says he always had an interest in UFOs and decide to leave his band — which found major success in the late 1990s and early 2000s — to investigate extraterrestrials
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/tom-delonge-quit-blink-182-904922

Hey Tom, I hear there’s two FBI field agents you might want to contact. They investigate paranormal activity (and it has nothing to do with the bullshit movies). Their names are agent Fox Mulder and Dr. Dana Scully. The truth is out there folks!

Spin it again! Donald Trump. So last week we covered extensively Donald Trump’s repore with women. And it’s not a good one. But we didn’t get to cover everything. Before we go down the wormhole on this, we have to acknowledge the government of Australia passing a motion calling Donald Trump a “revolting slug”.

But perhaps the most eloquent condemnation of Trump came from one of the houses of state parliament in New South Wales, which, according to BuzzFeed Australia, just passed a unanimous motion to declare Donald Trump a "revolting slug." The motion—a symbolic declaration of sorts with no real legislative heft—was tendered by a member of the Greens Party:

"I move that this house condemns the misogynistic, hateful comments made by…Mr Donald Trump, about women and minorities, including the remarks revealed over the weekend that clearly describe sexual assault…and agrees with those who have described Mr Trump as 'a revolting slug' unfit for public office," the motion read.
http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2016/10/buzzfeed-australia-trump-revolting-slug-motion

The Revolting Slugs – I saw them at the Troubadour last week. Amazing band! So what did Donald Trump do to piss people off this week in regards to his treatment of women? Well first off he used the “R” word in regards to a deaf Apprentice contestant:

Just in case you thought Donald Trump was insufficiently awful: He repeatedly called a deaf actress “retarded,” three sources tell The Daily Beast.

Trump, who was accused on Wednesday of making sexual comments to Marlee Matlin, an Oscar-winning actress who once competed on Trump’s Celebrity Apprentice, also apparently had a habit of insulting, mimicking, and demeaning as mentally handicapped his star female contestant—all because she was deaf.

In 2011, Matlin, who is still the only deaf actor or actress to win an Academy Award for best actress, appeared on Trump’s NBC reality-TV series. By the end of the season, she had come in second place and earned her fair share of compliments from Trump in the aired footage. But according to three longtime staffers who worked on Matlin’s season of Celebrity Apprentice, Trump would regularly disrespect the actress and would even treat her as if she were mentally disabled.
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/10/13/donald-trump-called-deaf-apprentice-marlee-matlin-retarded.html

That’s a pretty strong accusation out of the box, folks! And see if you ladies and gentlemen can guess who Trump is blaming for his own sexual assault allegations? Anyone? Bueller? He’s saying Mexico!!! I mean seriously is anyone surprised?

Donald Trump reportedly plans to blame Mexican billionaire Carlos Slim for emerging allegations of sexual assault against the GOP nominee.

Trump will say that Slim, as a shareholder of New York Times Co. and a donor to the Clinton Foundation, has an interest in helping Democrat Hillary Clinton's campaign, The Wall Street Journal reported Friday.
The Times published this week the stories of two women who allege Trump groped and kissed them without their consent in the past.
http://thehill.com/blogs/ballot-box/presidential-races/300970-trump-to-blame-mexican-billionaire-carlos-slim-for

And here’s where it gets real dark real quick – there’s multiple allegations of Donald Trump allegedly walking in on young women changing clothes during the pagents – some way below the age of 18! Even being over 18 that doesn’t make this OK!

Donald Trump barged in on Miss Teen USA contestants while they were changing clothes, and engaged in “creepy” dressing room banter with the girls — some as young as 15, according to a report.

At least four women told Buzzfeed that the mogul — who owned the Miss Universe, Miss USA and Miss Teen USA pageants from 1996 until last year — nonchalantly strolled into their dressing room during the 1997 pageant.

“I remember putting on my dress really quick because I was like, ‘Oh my God, there’s a man in here!’” former Miss Vermont Teen USA Mariah Billado told the site about the alleged 1997 incident.

The Donald, she recalled, responded, saying something like: “Don’t worry, ladies, I’ve seen it all before.”
http://nypost.com/2016/10/12/former-teen-beauty-queens-say-trump-barged-into-their-dressing-room/

[font size="8"]Donald Trump[/font]

Spin that shit! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! And it lands on… clip without context!

Spin that shit again! And it lands on……. Donald Trump. Whose name can be spelled Donald T. Rump. I mean that’s a classic joke there. Surprisingly one of Donald Trump’s biggest supporters has been Liberty University. Which is funny because remember at the start of the campaign they’re the ones that birthed Ted Cruz. And where Donald Trump hilariously misquoted 2 Corinthians.

As Election Day looms, a tale of two Liberty Universities has emerged.

It is no secret that Jerry Falwell, Jr., president of Liberty University, has been an unabashed supporter of Donald Trump since the Republican primaries. While his affection for the billionaire businessman has certainly sent attention his way, it has also earned Falwell the scorn of students from the university he leads.

Some students have started a “Liberty United Against Trump” petition, signaling to the watching world that, while their school’s leader may be in the GOP presidential nominee’s corner, they are not. In addition, Ben Howe, a prominent Never-Trumper, Liberty graduate, and son of a former Liberty professor, called on Falwell to resign Thursday in a scathing editorial.

But amid all the press coverage the backlash against Falwell is getting, the university’s student body president wants to make one thing clear: Most Liberty students actually agree with Falwell’s Trump endorsement.
http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2016/10/13/liberty-university-student-president-defends-falwell-jr-majority-of-students-will-vote-trump/

But Liberty University – while they may get a lot of hate because they’re associated with late asshole and extreme homophobe, Jerry Falwell, are shockingly full of surprises!

The group, Liberty United Against Trump, released a statement earlier this week arguing that the school’s president, Jerry Falwell Jr., had linked the school and Trump. The group noted that any member of the school’s faculty would be fired for bragging about kissing and groping women the way that Trump has.

“A recently uncovered tape revealed his comments bragging about sexually assaulting women,” the statement, which also serves as a petition, reads. “Any faculty or staff member at Liberty would be terminated for such comments, and yet when Donald Trump makes them, President Falwell rushes eagerly to his defense ― taking the name ‘Liberty University’ with him. ‘We’re all sinners,’ Falwell told the media, as if sexual assault is a shoulder-shrugging issue rather than an atrocity which plagues college campuses across America, including our own.”
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/donald-trump-liberty-university_us_58010a31e4b0e8c198a7c1d1

Wait – what the what?

But Falwell Jr. didn’t just back down on his controversial statement to endorse Donald Trump this late in the game. Oh no, my friends, he doubled down! In fact he’s about as delusional as it gets and claiming to speak for the majority of the school!

Although more than 2,500 students have signed a petition against Liberty University President Jerry Falwell Jr.'s continued vocal support of scandal-ridden Donald Trump, a student leader says most of the school's students will still vote for the Republican presidential nominee.

"Contrary to what the media is reporting, the majority of students at Liberty University agree with President Falwell and respect his decision to support Donald Trump," Jack Heaphy, who is the university's student body president, said, according to TheBlaze. "They are not blindly following President Falwell, but rather have a shared understanding of the danger a Hillary Clinton presidency represents and what it could mean for the Christian freedoms we hold dearly."

Read more at http://www.christianpost.com/news/liberty-university-student-president-says-majority-at-school-will-vote-for-trump-despite-petition-170880/#6flrrqhSGzXkE1FC.99

And yes religion is about not thinking, at least according to Jerry Falwell Jr. not only is he claiming to think for the majority of the school’s 8,000+ students, can you guess where he is taking his platform to spread his bullshit? Why if you guessed Fox News, you are correct sir / madam!

Students at Liberty University have spoken out against the Christian school’s president, Jerry Falwell, Jr., for supporting Donald Trump. But that got just a passing mention when Falwell visited Fox News’ The O’Reilly Factor Friday night to promote his continuing support for Trump.

Substitute host Bret Baier noted in his introduction that “students at Liberty University are denouncing” Falwell for supporting Trump. But Baier didn’t mention why a group of students have come out against Falwell: because they think his endorsement of Trump undercuts the school’s integrity. From The Huffington Post:
http://crooksandliars.com/2016/10/jerry-falwell-jr-gets-friendly-fox-news

[font size="8"]Donald Trump[/font]

Spin that shit! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! And it lands on… dating. So if you turn on the TV at any point there’s all kinds of services for just about anything dating you could possibly be into. Or maybe you just want some free luxury cars out of it:

A Missouri man has been accused of convincing a woman to buy him a Lamborghini and a Corvette as part of an online dating swindle that stretched across several states and encompassed at least three women, according to authorities.

28-year-old Timothy Rossell was arrested on October 13, and has been charged with one count of impersonating a federal officer and four counts of identity theft. According to police, Rossell was engaged in a con in which he would convince women to buy cars for him, drive them for a time, and then secretly sell them while telling the women the vehicles were stolen, KMOV.com reports.
https://www.yahoo.com/news/man-allegedly-cons-women-buying-150532594.html

Spin it again! And it lands on… Donald Trump. Again? Really? OK. So Donald Trump has been fighting everybody you can think of. He’s been fighting everyone and everything. Like his own vice president!

WASHINGTON — Republican leaders and election officials from both parties on Sunday sought to combat claims by Donald J. Trump that the election is rigged against him, amid signs that Mr. Trump’s contention is eroding confidence in the vote and setting off talk of rebellion among his supporters.

In a vivid illustration of how Mr. Trump is shattering American political norms, the Republican nominee is alleging that a conspiracy is underway between the news media and the Democratic Party to commit vast election fraud. He has offered no evidence to support his claim.

“The election is absolutely being rigged by the dishonest and distorted media pushing Crooked Hillary — but also at many polling places — SAD,” Mr. Trump wrote on Twitter on Sunday.
http://www.nytimes.com/2016/10/17/us/politics/donald-trump-election-rigging.html

So Donald Trump is going against the establishment and accusing it of election rigging. Add that to Jerry Falwell Jr’s saying that a vote for Hillary is a vote against freedom and you have a toxic storm brewing!

The Republican presidential nominee's claim that the election is being rigged against him represents the most outlandish moment yet in a campaign devoted to dismantling political norms.

Trump might not be the first candidate to feel nefarious forces are moving to keep him from the White House -- presidential elections have occasionally been disputed after votes are counted and have often been marred by accusations of dark instruments of fraud, such as the dead casting votes.
http://www.cnn.com/2016/10/18/politics/donald-trump-rigged-election/

But when he questioned his own VP about the possibility of election rigging guess what happened?

Donald Trump has been raising doubts about the integrity of the election for months, but his running mate and other GOP leaders are taking a more cautious tone.

"We will absolutely accept the result of the election," Republican vice presidential nominee Mike Pence said on NBC's Meet The Press Sunday. "Look, the American people will speak in an election that will culminate on November the 8th. But the American people are tired of the obvious bias in the national media."

Trump had recently been putting the emphasis of his "rigged" message less on actual voter fraud and more on the idea that the media is making it impossible for him to win by reporting on allegations of sexual assault, which Trump calls "phony."
http://www.npr.org/2016/10/16/498152787/mike-pence-we-will-absolutely-accept-the-result-of-the-election

[font size="8"]Joe Arpaio[/font]

Spin it to win it! And it lands on…. People Who Somehow Got Elected! Hit it! Now it’s time for another installment of:

This week, Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio. This guy has been the textbook definition of the racist redneck bounty hunter since 2004. So how does Sheriff Joe keep getting elected and elected and elected? It certainly isn’t his track record.

PHOENIX — Prosecutors say they will charge Arizona sheriff Joe Arpaio with criminal contempt of court over immigration patrols.

The racial profiling lawsuit that Arpaio lost more than three years ago morphed into a contempt case after the sheriff was accused of violating court orders. It revealed deep flaws in Arpaio's internal investigations, which Snow said had been manipulated to shield sheriff's officials from accountability.

Arpaio would face up to six months in jail if convicted of misdemeanor criminal contempt and an unspecified sentencing range if such a conviction is deemed a felony.

A felony contempt conviction would force Arpaio from office, while he could remain sheriff with a misdemeanor conviction. If prosecutors charge him, the case is not expected to be designated as a misdemeanor or felony until later.

Read more: http://www.politico.com/story/2016/10/prosecutors-will-charge-arizona-sheriff-arpaio-with-criminal-contempt-229618

That’s right – a felony conviction could forcibly remove him from office. But he’s already way ahead in the polls.

And we mean way ahead. When we say way ahead we mean way ahead, damn it!

Sheriff Joe Arpaio breezes to primary win as Recorder Helen Purcell, Schools Superintendent Don Covey struggle

Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio sailed into the general election Tuesday, but early primary results showed two other county incumbents — Recorder Helen Purcell and Schools Superintendent Don Covey — in danger of defeat.

Arpaio, the controversial lawman who has been in office 23 years, is seeking a seventh term. He led his three Republican challengers comfortably in early results, and the Associated Press declared him the winner little more than an hour after polls closed Tuesday.

Pre-primary polls had shown Arpaio with a substantial edge over Dan Saban, a former Buckeye police chief; Wayne Baker, a retired sheriff's deputy; and Marsha Ann Hill, a former sheriff's animal posse volunteer.

None of the challengers raised enough money or made a big enough splash to reach voters. For Saban, it was a third attempt at the office. Even though the sheriff refused to participate in any candidate forums, his national fame and solid conservative base pushed him to victory.

Read more: http://www.azcentral.com/story/news/politics/elections/2016/08/31/maricopa-county-primary-election-results-joe-arpaio-helen-purcell-don-covey/89301900/

That’s right – Sheriff Joe has been elected not one, not two, not three, but a whopping seven times! That’s over 23 years of pure hatred and racism! Or as Homer Simpson calls it “Seven Thumbs Up”.

So how does Joe Arpaio continue to get elected? Well let’s think about who his biggest supporters are – racists. And we’re not talking your tin foil hat uncle at Thanksgiving who spends way too much time listening to Infowars. We’re talking the people who say “I’m not racist, but…” and then immediately follow it up with something blatantly racist. You know, like this guy.

Sheriff Joe Arpaio of Maricopa County, Arizona, backed Donald Trump from the moment he decided to run for president. Arpaio says he likes the billionaire because he's been nice to Ava, his wife of 58 years. But there's more to it: Trump represents hope for Arpaio, whose tough police tactics have gotten him in hot water.

The man who calls himself "America's Toughest Sheriff" is a hero to some and a villain to others for his relentless targeting of illegal immigrants and the spartan conditions in his jails. Now, the controversy has come to a head: He is running for re-election while facing potential criminal charges for being slow to implement a 2013 court ruling that ordered him to stop racial profiling. His life's work is in danger of being negated thanks to the efforts of some dedicated activists and lawyers who oppose his tough methods. So it's no wonder that he has called electing Trump his "most important mission" after 55 years in law enforcement. Trump, who has made a crackdown on immigration a signature issue of his campaign and has endorsed "stop and frisk" policing and profiling as practiced in Israel, may seem like the answer to his problems.
https://www.bloomberg.com/view/articles/2016-10-03/arizona-s-sheriff-joe-needs-president-trump

Yes Donald Trump is an ally of Sheriff Joe Arpaio. And we all know where Donald Trump gets his talking points from – Infowars. So does that mean Sheriff Joe also gets his talking points from Infowars? Of course you can’t have an article about a sheriff from the south without making some Clint Eastwood references:

Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio's campaign continues to be a fundraising juggernaut, with its $1.2 million campaign war chest richer than any other county candidate's, new finance reports show.

In another county race, however, the reports offered a surprise: A notably poor month for incumbent Maricopa County Recorder Helen Purcell.

It's not unusual for Arpaio to outraise his challengers. He collected more than $725,000 from Aug. 19 to Sept. 19, nearly four times Democrat Paul Penzone's $188,000. Penzone had about $290,000 in the bank.
http://www.azcentral.com/story/news/politics/elections/2016/09/30/sheriff-joe-arpaio-fundraising-heavy-campaign-cash/91338114/

But there’s only one Clint Eastwood reference that’s appropriate for Sheriff Joe. That’s right – you guessed it – Gran Torino.

But of course there’s one thing that Sheriff Joe loves – and that’s the possibility of Donald Trump for president. With friends like these, who needs enemies?

Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio has earned a reputation as “America’s toughest sheriff” by housing Arizona prisoners in tents and cutting meat out of their diets, but in a Bakersfield Business conference speech he said he's got a huge soft spot for Donald J. Trump.

The Republican presidential nominee has faced calls to step aside since the release Friday afternoon of a 2005 tape showing him making derogatory comments about women.

But Arpaio praised Trump for meeting with Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto on Aug. 31 — and for calling his wife to chat several times.
http://www.bakersfield.com/special/business-conference/joe-arpaio-toughest-sheriff-has-soft-spot-for-trump/article_22bd0bc8-8d86-11e6-941c-f35d7e7e8c58.html

But Joe still won’t let the birther bullshit die. I mean come on, he got owned by Bill Maher on this years ago!

Imagine if there were a story presenting two very striking possibilities:

1. The president of the United States is perpetrating a fraud, in a con job of historical proportions.

2. A major law-enforcement agency is making, perhaps knowingly, an untrue and seriously damaging allegation against a sitting president.

Wouldn’t you say that, either way, it was a big story warranting further investigation?

We don’t have to imagine, however, because this is precisely the case with the investigation of Barack Obama’s birth certificate by the Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office (MCSO), the largest sheriff’s department in Arizona. Yet this huge story is treated like a non-story.
http://www.thenewamerican.com/usnews/crime/item/24167-sheriff-joe-arpaio-obama-birth-certificate-still-being-investigated

However, he is lagging in the polls right now – this might be the year folks! Just like the Cubs might actually win the World Series, we might actually finally vote this guy out of office for good! Who needs some butter?

It’s been a week from hell for Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio, and it couldn't be happening to a more deserving guy. On Tuesday, federal prosecutors in Arizona charged America's worst lawman with criminal contempt of court for violating judge’s order to curtail his department’s unconstitutional racial profiling practices—charges that could carry jail time.

Now the news has gotten even worse for Arpaio. A new poll shows him trailing his Democratic opponent, former Phoenix police sergeant Paul Penzone—by 10 points:
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2016/10/13/1581957/-It-s-really-happening-New-poll-shows-Sheriff-Joe-Arpaio-down-10-points-and-it-s-from-a-Republican

Hopefully that means that in 2017, Sheriff Joe will no longer be a member of the:

[font size="8"]The GOP Anti-Women Brigade[/font]

Entering the spin zone! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! Sweet! It lands on community chest! Let’s see what I get.

Nice! I get $200! Make it rain!!!

Spin it again! And it lands on… misogyny! Speaking of making it rain… the GOP is actively trying to justify Donald Trump’s failures when it comes to women. But first of all, is this really necessary? I mean when Donald Trump is embroidered in scandal after scandal involving his mistreatment of women, is this really the photo op you want to project?

Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump said Thursday that allegations by four women that he kissed and touched them inappropriately are "totally and absolutely false."

With his campaign reeling from the accusations, the brash real estate mogul told supporters in Florida, "These claims are all fabricated. They're pure fiction and outright lies. These events never, ever happened and the people who said them fully understand." He said he has "substantial evidence to dispute" the claims that will be made public at an "appropriate time very soon."
http://www.voanews.com/a/more-women-come-forward-on-trump-groping/3548741.html

So now how do you put a spin on that?

That’s right – Rush Limbaugh is actively advocating that the rape police be brought in!

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/rush-limbaugh-hints-left-strict-consensual-sex-article-1.2828825

Rush Limbaugh appears convinced sexual assault is a bogus concept invented by "the left."

As Donald Trump was in boiling hot water Wednesday evening after numerous media reports alleged he has sexually abused several women, the boisterous right-wing talk show host appeared mostly upset about the fact that rape is illegal.

"The left will promote and understand and tolerate anything, as long as there is one element. Do you know what it is? Consent," Limbaugh said during his namesake radio show Wednesday. "If there is consent on both or all three or all four, however many are involved in the sex act, it's perfectly fine. But if the left ever senses and smells that there's no consent in part of the equation then here come the rape police."

All 3 or all four? What kind of sex acts is Rush Limbaugh participating in? I mean remember when he went to the Caribbean in 2005 with a bottle containing 40 pills of Viagra? A creep like this should get absolutely no say in the sexual assault debate.

JULY 6--Rush Limbaugh was traveling with four other men--including the producers of the hit show "24"--when he was detained over a mislabeled bottle of Viagra found in his luggage during a Customs search, records show.

A Department of Homeland Security passenger manifest shows that Limbaugh and his four buddies flew from the Dominican Republic on a Gulfstream IV jet owned by Premiere Radio Networks, which syndicates his radio program.

Limbaugh returned to Palm Beach, Florida on June 26 with Joel Surnow, "24"'s co-creator and executive producer and Howard Gordon, another of the Fox hit's executive producers (Hollywood agent Jeffrey Benson was also part of the Limbaugh quintet).
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/crime/rush-limbaughs-dominican-stag-party

So why does Rush Limbaugh get a say in the debate when his own recent history would suggest that he’s a globe trotting sex pervert? He’s not the only one though! Actual senator Jeff Sessions (R – Creep) when asked by the Weekly Standard, wasn’t sure whether or not groping was considered sexual assault! Um… it is, dumbass!

Sen. Jeff Sessions (R-AL) claimed Sunday that Donald Trump was not describing sexual assault in a leaked video recording in which the Republican nominee brags about grabbing women “by the pussy” without their consent.

Interviewed in the spin room after the presidential debate in St. Louis, in which Trump brushed off the comments as “locker room talk,” the Alabama senator noted that the real estate mogul already apologized for his “very improper language.”

“But beyond the language, would you characterize the behavior described in that [video] as sexual assault if that behavior actually took place?” the Weekly Standard asked.
http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/senator-jeff-sessions-trump-grabbing-women-not-sexual-assault

[font size="8"]Martin Shkreli[/font]

Let’s spin that shit! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy…. Stop! My wife!

Spin it again! Booze. You know that thing that starts out great Friday night, but the next day makes you never want to have any more of it. That is, until Saturday when you start drinking again! So Pharma Douche Martin Shkreli, who’s currently under indictment for fraud, decided to hold a “drinks are on me” party at a bar near the federal court house in Manhattan. So here’s what happened:

After a securities fraud hearing in Brooklyn Federal Court on Friday, "pharma bro" Martin Shkreli reached out to Twitter for bar suggestions near Brooklyn Heights. He ultimately decided to head to Henry Street Ale House for a "fan meetup," and promised his Twitter followers: "Drinks are on your boy."

Shortly after sending out this invitation into the digital ether, the team at Henry Street Ale House replied to the pharmaceuticals kingpin: "You did not contact us to reserve the space and your ‘fans’ are not welcome." The Tweet has since been deleted, but the management further communicated that they did not have room for Shkreli and his posse at the bar.
http://ny.eater.com/2016/10/17/13303790/brooklyn-bar-martin-shkreli

Dude, Henry St. I know you want to project the good image of drinking, but you made the mistake of a perfectly good price gouging opportunity! You could have kept the bar open and charged $750 for a gin and tonic! Or $550 for a 16 ounce beer! Well, the bar he ended up at did catch wind of what was going on. Can we throw that Tweet up there?

And by the way we got to mention Shkreli’s ill-ventured Esports business, which as you can guess, was a colossal disaster.

The last years’ worth of venture capital funding, high-profile celebrity sponsorships, and Riot increasingly relenting grounds on community demands has done a lot to obscure what was previously a ubiquitously acknowledged esports truism – that the scene and industry is a lawless, messy, and somewhat destructive mess. Whether or not that is or remains true of its current big movers and shakers is up to debate, but whether the mistakes of yesteryear still linger isn’t.

In early 2015, infamous pharmaceutical industries executive Martin Shkreli was less known as the male version of Epipen price-jacking CEO Heather Bresch, and better known to esports as owner of Odyssey Esports – later merged with NRG general manager Gerard Kelly’s former Team Imagine.
https://pvplive.net/c/staff-and-players-still-picking-up-the-pieces-afte

[font size="8"]Infowars[/font]

Spin that shit! No whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! No, a whammy!!!!

Spin it again. Infowars. Crap, do I really have to talk about Infowars? Ok. Fine. Make me. I know you are but what am I? It takes one to know one! But mom!!!! So you know that Hillary Clinton name checked Alex Jones last week as being the source of where Donald Trump gets most of his talking points right?

And as you can imagine Alex Jones is pissed!

Hillary Clinton’s latest attack ad shines a light on the rhetorical similarities between Donald Trump and Infowars.com founder Alex Jones.

The first minute of the ad focuses primarily on Jones’ myriad out-there conspiracy theories: on Sandy Hook (“synthetic, completely fake, with actors”), on Sept. 11 (“the official story is a fable”), on the Democratic candidate herself (“She’s a freaking demon, and she stinks, and so does Obama”), and on LGBT issues (“I don’t like them putting chemicals in the water that turn the friggin’ frogs gay!”).

Jones interviewed the Republican presidential nominee in December. And in January, Trump — still in the throes of a primary battle — called Jones a “nice guy.”
http://www.salon.com/2016/10/17/watch-new-hillary-clinton-ad-ties-donald-trump-to-conspiracy-theorist-alex-jones/

So Alex Jones is naturally pissed. I mean he called Hillary Clinton a demon and said that she and president Obama smelled like sulfur! Uh…… what?

Radio host and Donald Trump supporter Alex Jones doesn’t need to tell Hillary Clinton and President Barack Obama to go to Hell. He believes they already reside there.

On Monday, Jones, host of his eponymous show on the Genesis Communications Network, said the two were literally the devil, Media Matters reports.

He called Clinton a “psychopathic demon.”

“I’m sure of that, and people around her say she’s so dark now, and so evil, and so possessed that they are having nightmares, they’re freaking out,” Jones ranted (watch above).

He claimed that both Clinton and Obama smell of evil and sulfur, attracting flies when no one else does.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/alex-jones-hillary-clinton-obama-demons_us_57fcff5ae4b068ecb5e1c83e

You know… is Alex Jones smoking the same stuff this woman is smoking? Because it must be good!

[font size="8"]Ken Bone[/font]

Spin it to win it!! No whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy STOP!!! And it lands on… wait for it… Something random in the news!

An upstate New York man apparently high on hallucinogens broke into his neighbor's home to save their dog from what he thought was a burning home, police say.

There was no fire, state police told WNYT-TV. The man had consumed LSD and cough medicine and thought his neighbor's home in Saratoga County was being consumed by flames last Thursday, officials say.

He went around his Halfmoon neighborhood banging on doors and yelling about a fire, WNYT reported. When no one would help, he drove his black BMW sedan through his neighbor's fence, went to the back door and smashed through it to retrieve the dog.
http://www.nbcwashington.com/news/national-international/Man-High-LSD-Cough-Medicine-Saves-Dog-Imaginary-Fire-397361811.html#ixzz4NTM61ouK
Follow us: @nbcwashington on Twitter | NBCWashington on Facebook

This ranks about a 9 out of 10 on my WTF-O-Meter. I mean this story is so fucked up on so many levels! At least the dog is fine! Where have I seen imaginary fires before?

Spin it again! And it lands on… Undecided Voters! So we have to talk about the guy who stole everyone’s heart during the Town Hall debates – Mr. Kenneth Bone.

How could anyone not like this guy? He looks like a fat Mr. Rogers! So neither Donald Trump nor Hillary Clinton won the debate. Instead it was this guy!

Today, the pundits will argue over who won the presidential debate. But we think we can safely deliver the verdict:
Ken Bone.
The debate, in case you missed it, was a town hall-style affair where audience members (screened by Gallup and selected by the moderators) asked questions of the candidates. And in that group of well-behaved, articulate, truth seekers was one Mr. Bone.

So last week we talked about the debates. But this week we have to talk about the craziest story of the week – the rise and fall of Kenneth J. Bone.
http://www.cnn.com/2016/10/10/politics/debate-ken-bone-staring-man-trnd/

http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/001/180/608/012

So now Ken Bone has become an overnight meme. What to do when you’ve become an internet star? You know we used to have 15 minutes of fame. Now that 15 minutes has been turned into 15 seconds! You know we talked about Halloween costumes in the previous entry. Well would you be surprised that a sexy Ken Bone costume exists? Because… internet! And sexy!

In the week since the second presidential debate, the pop culture phenomenon of undecided voter Kenneth Bone rose like Icarus toward the sun. He made media appearances, did a Reddit AMA, launched an official T-shirt, and his signature red cable-knit sweater sold out at Kohl’s. But it wasn’t long before America found out more about Bone than it wanted to know and his wings melted.

His 15 minutes of fame may be coming to a close, but the most notable attempt to capture some secondhand magic of the Ken Bone story is still up and running, courtesy of lingerie brand Yandy: Holiday procrastinators, meet the “Sexy Undecided Voter” Halloween costume.
https://www.wired.com/2016/10/yandy-sexy-ken-bone-costume/

Ken Bone was seriously polling higher than Jill Stein! This is hilarious!

A man whose outfit at the second presidential debate made him an internet sensation polls higher than Green Party nominee Jill Stein in Florida, according to a new poll.

Ken Bone leads the Stein 4 percent to 1 percent in the Public Policy Polling (PPP) survey out Friday.

Libertarian presidential nominee Gary Johnson, meanwhile, takes 5 percent support among the state’s likely voters.
http://thehill.com/blogs/ballot-box/presidential-races/301124-poll-ken-bone-leads-jill-stein-in-florida

And I mean really how could anyone be undecided at this point? There’s no possible way any sane citizen can decide because it should be painfully obvious now – the orange clown is not fit for office! He’s not even fit to be the night manager at a Baskin Robbins!

Kenneth Bone is the same person on Friday as he was on Sunday: a 34-year-old, politically ambiguous, white Midwesterner who is suddenly a figure of widespread interest thanks to his mild, be-sweatered appearance during a unpalatable political event. But as a meme, Kenneth Bone has changed quite a bit.

Sunday is when Kenneth Bone the person gave way to Kenneth Bone the meme. At first he was an American Hero, and even described himself as a “huggable, likable guy in the middle of a really nasty and divisive debate.” But then overnight on Thursday, things changed.

Bone agreed to do a Reddit Ask me Anything — as a newly famous human meme does — using his real Reddit handle. This allowed anybody to simply click through and read his entire history as an anonymous Reddit user. And now that we’ve learned more about the man, Kenneth Bone (the meme) is no longer a Hero. Now, Kenneth Bone is Bad, according to several articles about his Reddit comments.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-intersect/wp/2016/10/14/ken-bone-was-a-hero-now-ken-bone-is-bad-it-was-his-destiny-as-a-human-meme/

Yeah so what did Ken Bone say under his moniker that pissed people off?

But the Reddit AMA he hosted was the beginning of the end for Ken Bone, the endearing character and the beginning of Ken Bone, the slightly creepy.

Here's the problem:

Bone used his existing Reddit account name, StanGibson18, to host the AMA. Once his screen name was out there, Redditors started digging up the dirt.

To be brief, Bone admitted to insurance fraud, looking at porn and had questionable comments on the Trayvon Martin and George Zimmerman case.
http://www.komando.com/happening-now/376847/the-internet-looked-up-ken-bone-and-found-his-dirt

[font size="8"]Halloween Costumes[/font]

Spin that shit one last time this week! And it lands on…. No whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy stop! Clip without context!

Spin it again! And it lands on – wait for it – Halloween! Let’s get some appropriate music, shall we?

Halloween. That one day of the year when you wear a lizard costume when you drop your kid off at school to impress your kid. Then you go to work wearing said lizard costume, and you realize everyone is wearing suits during that big investor presentation, and you’re the only one wearing a lizard costume. Good job! What are the investors going to think now? So let’s lighten things up and talk about Halloween costumes, shall we? Especially that of the politically charged variety. Since the clusterfuck of the 2016 election comes to a close like the week after Halloween when everyone will still be recovering from that Halloween-induced hangover. So you could go as Supergirl, but a certain high profile celebrity has a problem with that.

Miley Cyrus has always used her fame as a musician and actress to talk about a wide variety of topics, and this week she decided to talk a little bit about her ideas on gender and how gender relates to inequality in Hollywood. However, she may have bit off more than she can chew when she tried to explain why Supergirl shouldn't be called Supergirl. Here's what Miley Cyrus had to say.

For example, there's a show called Supergirl. I think having a show with a gender attached to it is weird. One, it's a woman on that fucking billboard - it's not a little girl. Two, what if you're a little boy who wants to be a girl so bad that this makes you feel bad? I think having a title like Supergirl doesn't give the power that people think it does.

Supergirl has faced some challenges ever since it first started airing last season. The drama is the only female-led superhero series on television right now, and it has faced criticism from some audiences because it has told stories from a female perspective. Its first season also faced challenges when it didn't do quite well enough on CBS to justify its large budget, and it was subsequently shipped off to the CW, whereupon Supergirl was forced to switch locations and downsize. The fact that Supergirl's gender is mentioned in its title is the least of the show's problems, as it is working to rebuilt its universe on a brand new network. But Miley Cyrus is entitled to her opinion, and she spent a considerable amount of time sharing it in an interview with Variety. Miley being Miley, amiright?
https://www.cinemablend.com/television/1565741/why-miley-cyrus-has-a-problem-with-supergirl

Seriously… WTF did I just read? There’s no trying to justify Miley’s logic, or complete lack thereof. I mean what’s wrong with Supergirl? It’s the highest rated show on the CW! Which is only a 1/10th the ratings of what an actual network brings! And the word “girl” is in the title.

And by the way, Ms. Cyrus got smacked down by the CW boss:

“It’s based on a pre-existing property that’s called Supergirl, so we never had any intention of calling it something other than that,” said Kreisberg. “I think we worked hard, especially in the early part of season 1 to address the discrepancy. We actually had a scene about Kara herself lamenting, ‘Why aren’t I called Superwoman?’ and had Cat with her great rejoinder about how the word ‘girl’ in and of itself is not offensive. We continue to be proud of this show, we continue to be proud of Melissa and the character she represents and the hero that she represents. We stand by the show.”
http://www.ew.com/article/2016/10/11/supergirl-boss-responds-miley-cyrus-show-title

Or you could go as Melania Trump being groped by Donald Trump. Can we show that costume before we tell the story?

Jemima Goldsmith paid homage to embattled Republican leader Donald Trump on Tuesday evening, but it certainly wasn’t the tribute he might have hoped for.

The associate editor of the New Statesman magazine attended Unicef's annual Halloween Ball dressed as Melania Trump, complete with a plastic version of her husband strapped to her back.
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/jemima-goldsmith-halloween-costume-donald-trump-groping-melania-trump-a7360676.html

Or you could dress as something wildly offensive. But the University of Florida (obviously) won’t have any of it………. Because……………… wait for it………… religion.

Certain Halloween costumes related to race, religion or culture are often deemed offensive. Now, the University of Florida is offering counseling to students who have been troubled by such costumes.

The university sent out a memo to students urging them to make appropriate costume choices for the upcoming holiday. It has also asked students to report incidents of bias to the university’s support team.

“Some Halloween costumes reinforce stereotypes of particular races, genders, cultures, or religions. Regardless of intent, these costumes can perpetuate negative stereotypes, causing harm and offense to groups of people,” the university said in the memo earlier this week. “Also, keep in mind that social media posts can have a long-term impact on your personal and professional reputation.”
http://www.ibtimes.com/offensive-halloween-costumes-2016-university-florida-counsel-students-troubled-2431581

Yeah that’s exactly why you don’t wear the lizard costume to a board meeting, dumbass!

Or you could dress as the groper himself and give an added third dimension to the above costume! Just be sure you have a female who is willing to participate in the group costume!

Spirit is a South Jersey-based novelty retailer with 1,200 seasonal stores scattered across the country.

“Our Cry Baby Trump mask was in the lead, with the #HBIC Hillary mask a close second, just one point behind,” said spokeswoman Trisha Lombardo. The latex likenesses sell for $12.99 each.

More striking numbers were posted by Rubie's Costume Co. of New York City, which bills itself as the world's largest manufacturer and supplier of Halloween costumes.
http://www.philly.com/philly/news/politics/presidential/Trump-tops-Hillary-in-Halloween-mask-index.html

And by the way in case you were wondering, why yes a sexy Donald Trump costume does exist:

Donald Trump. With cleavage.

Welcome to Halloween 2016.

And judging by these harrowing costumes, it’s going to be the scariest year yet.

Let’s be clear: There’s nothing new about Trump outfits. That douchey mop is on sale all year round.
http://elitedaily.com/social-news/sexy-donald-trump-halloween-costume/1619580/

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8"]Halsey[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, playing her song “Ghost” from her album “Badlands”, available everywhere music is sold, please welcome Halsey!