Donald Trump's Middle East Peace Initiative:

To be announced on January 23:

All U.S. troops will be withdrawn from the Middle East forthwith, and the region awarded to the Russian Federation as a protectorate. As part of the agreement between the U.S. and Russia, the U.S. will have the option to buy oil from that region at a price 30% above the spot price, payable to the Russian Federation in gold. As part of the agreement, the U.S. will not interfere in any way with Russian governance in that region, regardless of actions taken by Russia.