Last edited Thu Nov 24, 2016, 11:49 PM - Edit history (1)

it might have seemed like a sweet gesture at first, but the poster is actually asking people to beg for the turkey with their awful situation..and then she gets to decide who is most deserving..gah

truly mean-spirited

WTF is up with these people? Than you see who they voted for, for President... it makes you wanta pull your hair out.

"Queen For A Day."

Woman goes in front of audience, tells sob story, gets a dishwasher.

As is, I've only read about it.

I was a kid, but my Grandma was in thrall when it came on.
Lot of older women were on the show, and given their age at the time, they had been thru the Depression, and WWI and 2.
When they told their stories, you could understand that they were not highly educated, and had spent their lives raising families for the most part.

I would cringe, even back then, seeing how the audience just loved to be part of Lady Bountiful to those pitiable contestants.

I also cringed because I came from a intergenerational family where the women DID complain to each other about their health problems
a lot.
Which is why years later, I loved the Monty Python 4 Yorkshire men skit.

" We used to live in one room, 26 of us, with no roof and half the floor was missing"

It's almost like giving a pet treats. This "act" of kindness is no such a thing. It's cruel, demeaning and humiliating. These people know no shame! 😠😳

I can't imagine a good Democrat doing this! What is surprising is that San Francisco has always been a liberal town, yet, it seems, we are slowly getting some people living here who are far from being liberal. This town has a lot of transplants. People from other states, who have come here to live. Yet, most have come here for a reason. Perhaps they were gay, and needed to be around many other gays..or they were Hispanic, or Asian.. or very liberal.. and wanted to live in a very BLUE state.

So it shocked me to find a very conservative attitude pop up in a very liberal city. How the hell does someone like that even get the job of passing out food to the poor? It boggles the mind.

feel better about themselves, and teach their kids that being poor is a personal fault!

Her ex drove her daughter through a dilapidated trailer park and told her that she wanted to show her poverty....and by the way, your Mother can't even afford to live here.....

People suck a lot of the time.

Especially nasty christianist people

Especially in my town. We have so many homeless here... people trying to help, with places like Glide Memorial Church feeding the homeless. Are Assholes going to go there and volunteer only to humiliate the homeless?



Yeah that will get them off the streets... Shame them... (assholes)

We rely on charity to meet needs that our rich society could easily afford to provide as basic public services. Our advanced economy is wedded to a barbaric culture.

When the next President is sworn in. People will feel like they have a licence now to be assholes.

sometimes to make judgement also.

They can even fick up a good thing like feeding the less fortunate in the area.

for basically Humiliating a poor person. I really hope there is Karma, because I would love to see it happen to her.

...assholery, as opposed to concealed.

for an accident report. A guy came in who was acting strangely, just hanging around. After a while, he walked up to the desk and asked an officer about open carry. The officer told him to call an attorney. I think even they were creeped out by him. I have seen guys hanging out in parking lots, holsters on the outside, looking all self-important and tough. I think they just want to be 'seen'.

spoken. This country disgusts me. So much wealth and so much hate.

I just wanted to throw something at her...rotten tomatoes or something.

and worst of all is her passing that along to kids. What an incredibly insensitive and stupid thing to say.

speechless with rage over this so called act of "kindness".

nasty bitch has led an almost charmed life, only having her "cornflakes pissed on" a few times. A hardship for her is, maybe, not having enough for that fancy pedicure she wanted to get. Apologies to the women here that do, occasionally, get fancy pedicures. Just an example. 🤔

The people delivering the food were good Christians.

I can't imagine Buddhist monks Humiliating a person in public for being poor.

I never really understood it until my mom and sister worked for some of the charities in St. Louis including one run by Larry Rice.

a fist in the face, or public Humiliation.

Hired her but she should be fired.

just today we served Thanksgiving dinner to the community where none of us would even think of asking whether people could afford their own food. It was a dinner for the community where people might have been poor, or maybe just wanted to sit down with people. We don't ask-- we are simply happy that they are happy to share our food..

I have no idea where her mind is. I can't imagine she is going out of her way simply to humiliate people. Does she really think she is doing a good thing offering charity while teaching the kids her version of what charity is?

(And, Hey! I'm 70! I'm "elderly" when I say I'm elderly. )

You could have taught her a thing or two, not that she would have listened, as she probably had her judgmental mind made up. But, teaching this kind of hatred to her kids, pissed me off the most.

Truly disgusting.

if you're not already doing it.

Hook up with any reputable local charity or group and get in the network. You can do as much or as little as you want to, but do something. Tough times may be coming and all hands may be needed. Even if things don't get worse, they are bad enough for some people.

Ignore the idiots, and just focus on the job at hand. I've seen these people, and they usually don't last long, but while they're around they can be distracting. The rotten tomatoes thing is tempting, but better is to try to get those kids alone and teach them how not to be so judgmental.

I will have to find out who does this kind of thing, and I am sure they might welcome some help.

(including manitou springs) that put on community meals, to which everyone is invited, no questions asked. (of course, there is the tiny fact that we have no bus service on holidays, so many people who might enjoy such a mean cannot get to any of them, but that is another issue). the local baptist church puts on a soup and sandwich supper on t-day eve, again, everyone welcome, no questions, no preaching)

may that pathetic imitation of a human being find herself on the receiving end of that kind of "charity"

Why didn't you speak up?

I couldn't believe my ears ..and eyes. I think I froze just watching it all unfold.

I'm sorry. Something is weird in this story.

that is rented, he can't be poor? WTF?

I'll leave this alone now.

But I find your story odd. It makes no sense really. "Dogooders" find a random man in a random neighborhood and give him food in order to humiliate him.

And you were so angry at this random act of kindness, but did nothing.

Oh, whatever. never mind.

You go on with your bad self, and have a great day being angry and doing nothing except posting about it on a message board.

Smh.

You can add me to your ignore list. That would make me very happy.

But I really like your cool story.

Next time: DO SOMETHING.

Call the police? Call the Mayor? Call the news papers? Maybe I should have gone and beaten her ass and ended up in jail for assault? Maybe I should have told her about my first Amendment rights and put a gun in her face?

Maybe I should have gotten in her face and pushed her nose to the pavement? What the fuck did you want me to do?

OH but then YOU don't believe the story anyway... Why am I fucking wasting my time with you?
Have a great night in your perfect world.

If your neighbor is so poor and "elderly"...why not reach out to him?

Wow, seriously? You have to ask?

maybe enough to say hello, but its THE CITY I LIVE in. If you have never lived in a city you might know that people in the city are not that friendly nor do they want to be bothered. But again, I don't even want to carry on this conversation further. You have basically called me a Liar.

And my anger right now is one that might probably get me blocked from my own posting, and I am sure you would just love that! Goodnight.

I am done with you and this conversation.

I've been hiking all day. It's GORGEOUS weather here.

it's beautiful outside. Go out and BREATHE.

My sister lives in the same city you do, lol. Apparently, her experiences are quite different.

She knows her neighbors.

Go back outside and play!

I will do so.

You're actually one of my favorite posters here. I just found this story silly.

Sorry. You can hate on me all you want.

I'll still like you.

and expect me to like you? You clearly have some issues.

post #47

"See, even writing that tells me how ridiculous this story is.

It didn't happen."

Now you are lying about lying.

Go on with your hate.

I'm watching The Queen on netlix.

Hate me all you want. You've got quite a gang going here.

DU is great for pile-ons.

I still like you and if you want to go back you'll see that. But don't let that get in the way of a good hate.

You can dish it out, but now you can't take it. How does it feel? Feels Good doesn't it? no?? You called me a Liar, and expect me to be happy and joyful, yeah you clearly have issues.

its fucking condescending.

A thousand apologies.

You don't get it.

I have obviously pissed you off beyond redemption.

Good night and good bye.

I don't do ignore lists, but mayhaps you should put me on yours/

There's a reason that the only men who get called "boy" are in menial work or POC or usually both. It's degrading and it's meant to be degrading. Calling a grown woman you don't know "girl" is rude everywhere and you meant it to be rude.

You don't post much anymore, I notice. but you're still so predictable.

Have a great day now.

Most likely the person is part of some local charity group or church outreach or some such thing, and your neighbor is on their list of people in need. Go talk to your neighbor and ask him who that woman was and/or what group or church she's working with. If he tells you that, you can call the organization and tell them exactly what their representative said, and how hurtful it was to your neighbor.

I plan to.

and those congregants generally have addresses. You did know this much, didn't you?

This story is just too funny.

Then the congregants go out to humiliate those they serve.

Right.

I love your condescension by the way.

Your responses to this post have been completely and unnecessarily presumptuous and pretentious.

So let me get this straight. You think that yuiyoshida posted a false story about someone behaving shamefully, but then neglected to make him/herself act in the story the way you thought they should have acted in order to make him/herself look like the hero.

You presume that someone who lives in a house can't be poor.

You presume that the elderly man was chosen at random.

You presume that, when confronted with someone behaving shamefully, anyone and everyone would march right over and confront that person about his/her actions.

And you presume that a story CAN'T be true if it does not conform to YOUR expectations.

Wow. You sure you're on the right forum? Because I think you misspelled the url you were looking for. It's spelled d-r-u-d-g-e-r-e-p-o-r-t-.-c-o-m .

Have a nice day.

Bless your heart.

it must be wonderful to be so in control, so on top of things, that you are never stunned into inaction when something truly bizarre or awful or shocking happens.

where no one is poor.

HEY KIDS, WHEN YOU GROW UP, BE HAPPY WHEN YOU CAN HELP PEOPLE; DON'T GROW UP TO BE CONSERVATIVE FREAKS; no INDEED.

You witnessed a public humiliation of a stranger by another set of strangers and you intervened...
Just curious.

I have and I will.

I'm a petite woman, but if I see something wrong...yes, I speak up.

You know, here's a funny thing. If one is not combative about it; if one simply speaks in a normal tone...people usually listen.

I found it funny that the OP thought the only avenues were violent. Why not approach the charity givers, say "hey that was so great you gave the "elderly" man some food, but I was curious as to why you had to point out that he was poor?" That would be a non-confrontational way to point out their wrong-doing.

See, even writing that tells me how ridiculous this story is.

It didn't happen.

You've gone from criticizing the OP's inaction to calling her a liar. Suggest you step away from the keyboard.

You should stop, cwydro.

You're being a serious jerk. This story is completely plausible and seriously sad. It says far more about you than the OP that you feel the need to harass her for her reaction and accuse her of lying.

I agree with TDale313. I am sure the OP is telling the truth. It's often difficult to say something, especially the first time something happens. After one has processed what has happened, if something similar happens again, one might respond more assertively. But it's unreasonable to expect perfection from a human being and excoriate them for not having responded in the perfect way that is so easy to come up with when one is sitting at one's keyboard, taking as much time as one needs to think about the best way to respond to the situation.

1 Corinthians 13:4 Translations
King James Version (KJV)

Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,

We were told to hand over the box and wish them happy holidays and leave.

That little twit was way out of line. It might be interesting to ask the old guy if he knew where they were from and make a complaint about her completely unacceptable behavior to someone who had undoubtedly worked hard his whole life to build the country she felt such a superior entitlement to enjoy.

The OP only posted about his/her horror of this act here on DU.

The OP did not help the "poor" old guy. The OP did not confront the mean and hateful charity givers. The OP just wants us to know that the OP watched this awful thing happen and was appalled by it. Truly, this is one of the craziest things I've seen on DU, and I've seen a lot.

a vague image what she might be like, and why she did not confront the woman. But, I could be completely wrong so won't pass on my thoughts on that. What I will pass on is the observation that being a judgmental blowhard is one of the defining characteristics of all too many online posters, and DU is no exception.

Rather than call her out for her inaction, why not encourage her how to do more?

Thank you for your insult treasonous bastard.

Have a wonderful night.

you don't start out by calling them a liar.

on that high horse of yours. Wearing all that armor, its must be very heavy. I am sure you have charged in and saved the day many of times.

Have you checked on the poor man?

lived in a city, have you?

by letting him know that people were watching and listening when the incident happened, and that they're concerned about how poor and hungry he is.

I am putting you on ignore. And I wish the OP would, too. This kind of harrassment and nastiness has no place on DU.

It might be worth it to let them know they had such a volunteer on their staff.

Now THAT is something worth doing!

was I?

Ignore the idiots, they aren't worth it.

Now I'm deeply hurt.

They really should know they've got an entitled little (insert word prissy people want banned on DU) working for them.

Why would you do that to another human being? I help people to help people. Not because I want accolades for it. But to treat him like some sort of experiment is disgusting. He deserves to be treated with dignity and respect. That sets a horrible example for her children.

1. The lowest: Giving begrudgingly and making the recipient feel disgraced or embarrassed.

2. Giving cheerfully but giving too little.

3. Giving cheerfully and adequately but only after being asked.

4. Giving before being asked.

5. Giving when you do not know who is the individual benefiting, but the recipient knows your identity.

6. Giving when you know who is the individual benefiting, but the recipient does not know your identity.

7. Giving when neither the donor nor the recipient is aware of the other's identity.

8. The Highest: Giving money, a loan, your time or whatever else it takes to enable an individual to be self-reliant.

It goes against all the other points. It's too influenced by the Republican notion that it's a shame to accept gifts and that one must be self-reliant. Well, some people simply cannot be self-reliant. Some people have disabilities, illnesses, or addictions. Some people are too old to be self-reliant. Some people are depressed and need years of therapy before they can be functional. Some people are so depressed that they are simply too weak to work with a therapist to become functional. Those people are human, too, and they deserve to live in dignity as much as those of us who are lucky enough not to be in their position.

We have what we call a "society" for a reason. And the point of our social contract is for the strong to help the weak, with no expectation that the weak use the help to become strong.

...remember there being 7, not 8, and when I Googled "7 levels of Charity," this is what showed up. I think your critique of #8 is a very good point.

I think it's optimal to help someone to help themselves if that's an option (barring the obvious exceptions of the elderly or severely disabled.) What in the world is wrong with trying to help someone who is capable to take care of themselves? I imagine that the gift of self-sufficiency and pride is more valuable to someone who is struggling than a can of food or a few bucks here and there on an irregular, unpredictable basis.

How do you even give something to someone that makes them self-sufficient? How arrogant to think that one could be so powerful!

If we're talking here about giving to a fund that helps poor young people afford a college education, then I'm all for that. But giving to a soup kitchen or a charity that helps those who are addicted to drugs is in no way inferior to that.

Indeed, I would say that the highest form of giving is taxes. Taxes are supposed to be the basis of the social contract that ensures that everyone is helped. Taxes are supposed to ensure that everyone has a good education, a roof over their head, enough to eat, a police force that protects them, and safe roads and bridges that enable them to do what they want to do more easily. Instead, Americans love to complain about having to pay taxes, or brag about how they avoid paying them, while choosing to give to their favorite charity a much smaller amount to do something good for only those people they choose to help.

Using your example, of course there is nothing wrong with giving to a charity that helps feed the drug addicted. But that is a temporary solution. Is it arrogant to give your time or money to an organization that is trying to help them kick the drugs so that they could take care of themselves? One that is helping to find them employment after they are clean? That is my interpretation of the highest form of giving. Most drug addicts are able to be helped. It may take more money, more time, more resources to get them on the right path, which is why it is the highest form of giving. Giving anyone a few cans of food or a few dollars to a food bank is helpful and noble in its own right, but if you are able to help more people who are perfectly capable of becoming become self reliant, then it frees up time and money to help the sick, our veterans, the elderly, etc.

That is what I have a problem with. When you give someone a gift, with the expectation that they use what you've given them in order to become self-sufficient, you are trying to control them. What if they don't want to become self-sufficient? Are they less worthy as a human being than someone who does want to become self-sufficient? Are you going to let them starve to death because they are not mentally well enough to want a job?

This is why I have a problem with everyone who complains that they gave a beggar on the street some money, which the beggar then used to buy drugs or alcohol. When you give something freely, you do not tell the recipient what they are supposed to do with your gift.

I stand by my statement that the highest form of giving is taxes. In a healthy society that believes in helping those in need, taxes ensure that people don't need charity to go to college or to get treatment for drug addiction or depression. It is a sign of a very sick society that we are having this discussion at all. In a healthy society, the OP would not have existed because no one would have been hungry on Thanksgiving day.

I don't expect someone to become self-sufficient off of a few cans of food. When I give money to the person holding up a sign on the highway, I don't expect them to use the money for anything in particular. BUT are you really saying that people should be totally cool with giving money, time, food, etc. to people who just say hell, I don't want to be self-sufficient? Wow. Let's fund college tuition for young adults who just don't *feel like working when they graduate, and then let's give them food and pay for their shelter and their medical expenses for the next 50 years too. If you are speaking of people who are too sick, disabled, too old and infirm to do anything else but rely on others for help, I am with you. Let us help them. But if those people are physically and mentally able - and there seems to be a huge discrepancy on what you and I consider mentally able - then yes, it is better to try to help them to help themselves then to help them rely on people to provide for their basic needs for the rest of their lives. Who WANTS that?

It looks like you've completely bought Reagan's arguments about "self-sufficiency." I will not even go into what those arguments, in the end, boil down to, since it's too ugly for words.

I sincerely hope, for your sake, that you don't ever fall into depression. Of course, that will mean that you will never understand how a person suffering from even moderate depression feels -- how they would rather die than live another day but their annoying self-preservation instinct prevents them from going through with one of their many suicide fantasies; how they wake up every day, try for hours to get out of bed, finally manage to make it to the door of of their dwelling, but cannot face the daylight and walk back inside to crawl under the covers in a futile attempt to hide from the world and their obligations. If you met such a person, perhaps at the grocery store, you wouldn't have the slightest clue that they were depressed; the smile on their face while they spoke with you would give you the superficial impression that they were perfectly all right. You would probably look down on them for not earning a living and making something of themselves. After all, most people are simply incapable of feeling (or refuse to feel) empathy, which means they only understand a situation if they themselves live through it. No wonder this country is so messed up. No wonder people elected a hateful fearmonger over someone who was advocating love, kindness, understanding, and empathy.

True love and kindness are to be found in a person who gives freely, understanding that s/he cannot possibly know enough about the situation someone else is in to be able to pass judgment.

In the end, your belief that a human being would choose to live off the government or others' charitable acts, and refuse to work out of sheer laziness, reveals a deeply negative view of the human spirit. I happen to know that productivity comes from health and well-being. If there is no productivity, what is to blame is not laziness but a lack of health and well-being. There is therefore no difference between an organization that feeds the hungry and an organization that trains the unemployed for the workforce. The only difference is the relative health and well-being of the people being helped.

Wow!

But thanks for once again trying to derail the thread by making unfounded insinuations that the OP is lying.

I don't always check my mailbox every day. I went to go check it because it was piling up.

And of course the follow up to this one - where you complain to the charity that helped the old man.

Sitting on the edge of my chair here.

You got nothing better to do than hang out here on this thread? Why don't you go post your own freaking post? バカヤロ!

Yes, I can read it. Of course you don't have the courage to put in English because we both know you'd get a hide.

Listen hon. You are one of my favorite posters here.

I just found this to be a silly story. Maybe I was wrong.

I love being cursed in another language. Made my day!

I've saved it and put it out on facebook where my friends can enjoy it.

Really darling. don't let ANYONE get you that angry. It will eat at YOU, not them,

if it is, its cause you like having someone to harass and bully. The fact that you are still on here throwing daggers at me proves that much. But guess what Missy? I am not leaving DU and you are not going to drive me off. Again, I am done with my conversations with you.

and I will say this in English so I am clear, this is a fucking stupid conversation and I no longer want a part of it.

Our posts just crossed.

OK, you hate me. I got it hon.

I don't hate you back.

You come off as exceptionally humorless too, cwydro, despite the constant effort you've been making here to pretend you're happily laughing away about this interminable exchange you're doggedly pursuing.

What earthly reason could you possibly offer as the motive you imagine is causing yuiv to make this story up? What possible benefit would she accrue by inventing this story out of the whole cloth?

I have to admit, though, that your silly little quibble about the impossibility of someone going to collect their mail a day late had me in stitches. You could never imagine that someone might be rushed and have a full schedule right around the holiday weekend. It could never be true that everyone doesn't run right out to the mailbox as soon as the mail arrives. Everyone must always be expecting supremely important deliveries from the USPS.

I check my mailbox 4 x a day, myself. That reminds me...

I'm back. Darn it. It's still empty.

You strike me as a big "publisher's clearing house" fan, always waiting, with your nose pressed against the window, for that winning notice from big Ed. Er, I mean, you're not ALWAYS waiting at the window, that would be unfair to say, because I see you also keep yourelf occupied a lot of the time by posting 400x to this one thread.

It seems hard to believe you're a female, though. Your posting style seems to strongly gainsay that statement of "fact" from you. I have come across a lot of guys who post with a style similar to yours in the past, but you'd be the first woman I've seen behaving like that. Still, live and learn, I suppose.

Overall, your performance here is enchanting. Loving, humorous, energetic, the complete package.

Don't ever change.

I only check mine once or twice a week (I try to remember to do it after all the sales flyers are delivered).

DU has it's own set of deplorables... just ignore those arseholes.

We can't be normal human beings. I hate bullies on the internet and I won't back down and SHUT THE FUCK UP.

She tried to take a lot more than she offered to give. And used the excuse that she was "giving" to do it.

...When I was a wee lad, my maternal grandparents owned a small trailer court The tenants included singles, college students and several seniors. One older man in particular lived in his camper. Nice guy, and apparently did not have any family in the area. My Nan knew he was alone for Thanksgiving, as she had asked him previously about joining them. He declined, out of pride, I suspect. Before we ate, we made a large plate with all the trimmings and delivered it to him. No fanfare, no band of onlookers. Just a little boy knocking at this door, handing him a plate and saying "Happy Thanksgiving."

He was in the process of opening a can of beans, and took the plate with tears in his eyes. We left and went back to our dinner, and I can still see the look on his face, and I remember feeling then --much as I do now-- that I should not feel satisfied or self-important that we were able to assist someone less fortunate. No, we should feel ashamed that we have less fortunate in this country of plenty.

And when all of Christ's apostles were asking how they could demonstrate their love and devotion, Christ responded: That what you do for the least of my brothers and sisters, you do for me.

I don't believe in God, but I do believe that someone who has to put others down in order to feel good about themselves is incapable of feeling true happiness, until they manage to work on their issues and become a better person.

What if that woman who told her children that this is what a poor person is was simply trying to show them that there ARE people who need food, who don't have enough, who benefit from the gifts of others and was only ignorant in her approach? What if her kids are so privileged that they have never seen someone in poverty, and she had good intentions by giving to someone in need? Should she burn in HELL?

...HOWEVER, her "lesson" to her children could have easily been accomplished in a more private, thoughtful way. Seriously, a good Christian woman poverty shaming the recipient of her "gift"?

Since there is no hell, it's a moot point, and more of a rhetorical declaration. And as a non-Christian, I find the woman's conduct rude and vulgar.

but I'm not sure she actually intended malice...There's a lot of clueless idiots out there.