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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsWhy should women have to pay the price for 'safety' on a daily basis?
Why should women have to pay the price for 'safety' on a daily basis?
New research says 70% of British women have taken steps in their everyday lives to guard against harassment. From rape alarms to self-defence rings the idea that the onus is on us is writ large
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The idea that women need reminding to take extra precautions to try to protect themselves is laughable.
Scrolling through my social media feed this morning, I came across a picture of a jagged, dagger-like implement mounted on a plastic ring. It was being recommended as the perfect product for female runners. It is, of course, bright pink. The idea according to Fisher Defensive, the company behind the Go Guarded self-defence ring is that it is a convenient, comfortable, effective way for women to defend themselves if the unthinkable should happen when they are out running, hiking, or walking. Convenient? That a product intended as a weapon to fight off sexual assault can be described as convenient and comfortable crystallises just how blasé we have become about the idea that constant vigilance is a routine part of a womans reality. In 2016, it is quite normal to come across products like this. Rape alarms. Pepper spray substitutes. Anti-rape underwear. Anti-rohypnol nail polish. Anything to remind me to step up, open my wallet and pay the price for safety as a woman in a mans world.
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The reality of how heavily the threat of sexual violence hangs over womens daily lives was laid bare today in new data from ActionAid UK . A poll of 2,200 people revealed that 57% of British women have experienced some form of harassment and just under one in six (16%) have been groped in the past month alone. These are shocking statistics. But even more dispiriting is the finding that over 70% of all British women and 88% of those aged 18-24 have taken steps in their everyday lives to guard against harassment. Sexual violence doesnt only impact womens lives in the moment of an assault or an incident of harassment. It affects us every day, influencing our behaviour, our travel plans and our peace of mind.
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What is worse is that society encourages women to do these things. It regularly reinforces the message that it is womens responsibility to keep themselves safe, not mens responsibility not to harass or assault them. We see it in newspaper articles that emphasise a rape victims clothing or behaviour, implying the attack might never have happened if only she had taken more precautions. We see it in celebrity warnings to young women to avoid rape by not drinking, not wearing the wrong thing, not being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Because, the assumption goes, rape is a shadowy, inevitable force out there waiting for silly women who walk into its path, not the deliberate act of an individual criminal. We see it in police campaigns that tell women to avoid becoming a victim of rape by doing things that are legal, instead of telling men not to become rapists by breaking the law.
This International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women, we must confront the idea that it is acceptable, normal even, to live in a world where women disrupt their lives to avoid sexual harassment and violence on a daily basis. We must recognise the absurdity and horror of a woman posting a review on the Amazon page for the self defence ring that reads: I still have a small knife in my runners pocket, but I like the extra time that Go Guarded buys me before pulling out my knife.
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https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/womens-blog/2016/nov/25/why-should-women-have-to-pay-the-price-for-safety-on-a-daily-basis
raccoon
(31,111 posts)smirkymonkey
(63,221 posts)I don't travel alone anymore. My life has definitely been made smaller by my fear of being put in danger by violent men. I know it's not all of them, but all it takes is one. I live in a secure doorman building, but I fear the day when I won't be able to afford it. I am terrified of the day that someone might be hiding in my lobby and I will have no defense.
mythology
(9,527 posts)For whatever reason, we as a species and as a society, haven't been able to find a way to teach a higher percentage men (I am one) to not commit sexual violence. Some of it is that we don't really know the full scope of sexual violence. Not just rape, but random groping or idiotic comments said to women or any of the other myriad of things women have to go through. We don't really understand what percentage of men commit rape, or why, or what progresses a man along that path.
As such, the tools we have available to deter rape, is to give women tools to fight back more effectively. I'm not saying it's right, or that it should be. But it is what it is today.
I think we need to have a deeper societal (and species wide) conversation and understanding about what drives men to commit acts of sexual violence so we can teach them not to. Yes it's so easy to not commit sexual violence that I can do it all day long and not be tired from the effort. But not all guys are like that. Some of it is male entitlement, some of it is a way to feel like they have power, some of it is that we haven't learned to talk about consent or drilled into guys that consent is something that has to be actively given. Some of it is that people make worse decisions when drunk and do things when drinking to excess that they would be smart enough to not do when sober. That doesn't remove responsibility on the guy's side, but I would say we need to better understand all the reasons binge drinking is a bad thing and that's on the list right below death rates from drunk driving.
Vancouver had a significant cut in reported sexual assaults after their "don't be that guy" ad campaign reminding guys that just because a woman is too drunk to say no, doesn't mean she is consenting.
We need a conversation about how we (meaning guys) talk around sex and rape. We talk about guys getting laid, women "giving it up", that men have to be the pursuer and want sex and women are supposed to deny us until we "earn" it. That language makes sex a conquest, inherently an aggressive act.