What WON'T Donald Trump Privatize?

One of the things Trump mentions from time to time is privatizing certain functions of government. So far, he has mentioned roads and bridges, which he seems to think should be built by private companies which would charge tolls to use them. So, what else might he consider privatizing and taking off government funding? This could trickle down to states, cities, counties and other local jurisdictions, too, of course. Make the people who need stuff pay for it. Why should the rest of us pay for stuff we don't want or need. Yeah, say the Trumpers...that's the ticket. Why shouldn't they privatize things, like:

Schools? They're often mentioned by people as something that could be privatized. Local districts might well enjoy not dealing with operating their own schools. Just let companies run schools as they please and take it off their plates, they say. Never mind equality or educating even the difficult to educate. The companies will sort it out, right? Same with higher education. Why should states bother with running universities, after all?

Law Enforcement? That's expensive to run, so Trumpeters might think that contracting with private companies for such activities would make sense. Never mind the dangers of companies like Blackwater doing law enforcement. Never mind oversight. Those companies will protect people's rights, of course, so there's no need to worry about that, right?

National Parks and Forests? Yeah, that comes up, too. Why not let companies like Disney and other amusement park operators run them? They could run them to make a profit and they wouldn't be a drag on the economy, right? They'd do a great job, they think and people who visit them will pay. Most people never go to those places anyhow. Who cares?

Prisons? Oh, hell yes, Trump and his buddies might say. If private companies ran all prisons, jurisdictions could just ship off their undesirables and forget about them. Why, that would save tons of money. Who cares what happens inside those walls and barbed wire enclosures? Buncha bad guys in there. To Hell with them, OK?

Health Care? Of course. Look at it. Most of it's private already. Why not just let the marketplace decide who gets treated and how much it costs, the Trumpites reason. People who can't afford health care? They should live healthy lifestyles and get good jobs so they can afford not to die if they get sick, right?.

The Military? Well, why not, after all? That's expensive as the dickens. Why not sell off the Army, Navy, Air Force and Marines to the highest bidder? They'll do whatever the government tells them to do, right? If we have to send them somewhere, why not let them take and sell stuff they find there to help defray the costs? Shoot, this is a great idea! Maybe some of the law enforcement companies would be interested, or big global contractors. Yeah, baby!

The Post Office? What? Why not? Look how well FedeX and UPS are doing. Let them deliver the mail and charge market rates for doing it. It's bound to cost less, right? Who mails anything any more anyhow?

Entitlement Programs? Absolutely! Sell them off to the highest bidders. Let big banks run things like Welfare, Social Security and all those costly programs that only go to fund non-productive people. They'll be able to figure out a profitable way to handle them, no doubt. Anyhow, who cares about poor people, old people and disabled people, really? They're just a big drain on society.

Other Possibilities? Hell, they could privatize anything. Like the FDA, for example. Who knows about medicines and drugs more than the pharmaceutical companies. Let them handle drug regulations and let the supermarket companies worry about food safety. Why should the government pay for that stuff? So says Trump and his cronies. They could literally privatize everything, except for their own jobs, and other political jobs. Those should stay funded by taxpayers. They're too important to privatize, right?

but not really satire. Too close to potentially becoming real.

Add your own ideas for things that could be privatized by a Trump administration.