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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region Forums"She made her bed, she can lie in it."
Last edited Sat Mar 31, 2018, 08:13 AM - Edit history (1)
Can't count the number of times I've seen those words or that sentiment expressed on social media.
Personally, I can't go there. No, I don't agree with many of the decisions she's made in her life, especially marrying that vile excuse for a human being. I'll confess to an instinct to view her as a gold digger, but I also don't know enough about her to appreciate what that might have been an escape from. I have no idea what kind of person she is, and don't know how she treats friends, family, strangers, or herself.
I do know that no person deserves to be disregarded and treated disrespectfully, especially by someone who made vows to place her first and foremost above all others. Argue the sincerity of any pledges coming out of his mouth all you want, that's a reasonable expectation spouses can make about one another. The horror of being married to a narcissist is something I thankfully do not have to experience myself.
I've worked with too many abused and neglected women to make the heartless error of assigning them any blame. When she does something stupid like plagiarize the FLOTUS, I'll criticize her for that. If she says something with which I disagree, I'll be happy to tell her she's wrong to her face. What I won't do is harden my heart and ignore the signs of abuse just because I think her husband is bent on destroying the world. I do feel sorry for her. I would not want to be in her $1,000 shoes for anything!!!!
Ovida11
(12 posts)Yes, regards of politics I view attacking family members for political points a 'below the belt' move.
ProfessorGAC
(65,227 posts)Somehow i remember her making speech at the RNC convention. (A plagiarized speech at that.)
This makes here a public figure, which suggests to me that it takes more than this stuff to be "below the belt".
If she had simply gone about her personal interests during the campaign and not "speechified" on behalf of It, then i think she's off limits.
But, that's not what happened.
Tanuki
(14,923 posts)back in 2011.
http://m.dailykos.com/story/2016/8/6/1557472/-Let-the-Record-Show-Melania-Trump-is-a-Birther
"Transcript:
Joy Behar: What is this with the birth certificate obsession? Did he ask to see yours when you met him?
Melania Trump: Well I needed to put mine, anyway, because if you want to become an American citizen, you need to put the birth certificate. I have a birth certificate from Slovenia. And
do you want to see President Obamas birth certificate or not?
Joy Behar: Ive seen it, Ive seen it.
Melania Trump: Its not a birth certificate.
Joy Behar: Well, its a certificate of live birth
Melania Trump: Right.
Joy Behar: But, Melania, if he insists on what hes saying, then no one in Hawaii can ever run for president. Because they all get the same live birth certificate.
Melania Trump: Well, but they need to have
Joy Behar: Bette Midler is finished, for example.
Melania Trump: They need to have, and, in one way, it would be very easy if President Obama just show it and
Joy Behar: But he does.
Melania Trump: Its not only, its not only Donald who wants to see it, its American people who voted for him and who didnt vote for him. They want to see that.
Joe Behar: Its on display in Chicago, weve seen it on the internet; weve seen it. It is not the same as yours but it is a certificate of live birth.
Melania Trump: We feel its different than birth certificate.
Joy Behar: Alright, well, I think you should give it up.
Melania Trump: Well, its not him that is bringing up; its the media all the time, all the time. ".....
ProfessorGAC
(65,227 posts)Thanks for that. She's not just some innocent by-stander. She's part of the problem.
Pacifist Patriot
(24,654 posts)Unacceptable bullshit and she deserves scorn for it. Still don't like seeing someone treated like a doormat by a spouse.
supernova
(39,345 posts)is reminding me of Pat Nixon. She did not say anything much in public and mostly stayed in the background. It wasn't until they both died we were given glimpses to the cracks in that relationship. As much as i despised Nixon at 10-14 years old, I did not wish Pat any ill will. It was probably a monumentally taxing effort to be married to him.
And the incident at the prayer service on Friday only heightens that comparison for me. He may indeed have treated Melania very well initially. Most narcissists do because they want to eventually extract everything from your soul. I'm not going to say that she deserves his brutality all day every day. No one does, well maybe Putin.
Ilsa
(61,700 posts)She is so low on my list of priorities. She has food, shelter, clothing, medical care, and probably a decent friend or two or a sibling she trusts.
Pacifist Patriot
(24,654 posts)DanTex
(20,709 posts)The kind of person who sits by approvingly while her husband foments hate crimes and brings about a rebirth of white supremacy. She's a political ally of the man who, as you said, is hell bent on destroying the world. At the very best, she has allowed herself to be used as a tool, to normalize one of the most dangerous politicians in US history.
As far as being a gold digger, yeah, she is that: a 35 year old supermodel doesn't marry a 60 year old Donald Trump for his good looks, kindness, or sense of humor. But that's doesn't matter. Gold digging is a perfectly legitimate marital strategy.
When Trump transitioned from being just another douche to a threat to the future of the world, it moved way beyond the happiness or lack thereof in their marriage. There's a lot more at stake.
She's a grown up. She has free will. Yeah, she made her own bed.
Sure, if it ever comes out that her actions in political support of Trump have been coerced under threat, then yeah, I'll have sympathy. But all signs are that she is supporting him under her own volition.
Pacifist Patriot
(24,654 posts)I can still feel sympathy for her being treated so piss poorly in public by her spouse. I still have this nagging feeling we're seeing some pretty clear signs of abuse, and if that's the case, "under her own volition" can get murky. If he's perfectly content to gaslight millions, I can only assume he's perfected the technique at home.
RedWedge
(618 posts)Just because she has resources doesn't mean she feels she can use them to get out. Who knows what the prenup says about her and any children the marriage produces.
Just because she's the First Lady doesn't mean she knows what options are available to her. What responsibility does the Secret Service have if they witness Trump abusing her?
Rich, beautiful women can be at a loss about what step to take next to protect themselves, as well. The ongoing trauma of partner abuse changes the way the brain works, no matter what kind of resources you have. Writing her off just because she's rich, in a powerful position, or said terrible things doesn't mean she deserves the abuse she gets from her husband.
Pacifist Patriot
(24,654 posts)it's really easy to assume women could get out any time they wanted. Especially when it's believed they have the means to do so. It really is almost impossible to explain the total mind fuck an abusive relationship can be. It can't be assumed they possess the rational decision-making ability that an unbiased bystander does. It simply doesn't work that way.
If any good comes out of this, I hope it raises awareness of abusive relationships. It's usually not the visible bruises that cause the most pain.
RedWedge
(618 posts)Tanuki
(14,923 posts)"deserves to be abused." That is quite different from saying she deserves to be taken to task for spreading racist birther lies or publicly disparaging her fellow immigrants when she herself worked in the US before she had the proper papers.
RedWedge
(618 posts)I read things like "I don't give a shit what happens to her" or "she made her bed, she can lie in it" as expressions from people who don't care if she's abused. Perhaps I made the leap to think that people believe she deserves it when they say that. It wasn't a big leap, though.
Pacifist Patriot
(24,654 posts)And I was careful to say social media. What I have seen on Facebook and Twitter is worse than what I've seen here.
bigbrother05
(5,995 posts)Pacifist Patriot
(24,654 posts)hlthe2b
(102,405 posts)for some that is laudable--just "bizness", you see.
For me, it represents something far more malignant.
I won't go after her; I can still feel some empathy when she faces the "tradeoff impacts" from the decisions she made. But, i certainly am NOT going to defend her.
longship
(40,416 posts)any blame."
That's it in a nutshell. It is one of the essential arguments against our nation's new regime. If people do not get this, I don't know what to think.
Resist!
MFM008
(19,821 posts)Sorry.
csziggy
(34,138 posts)And now she is in the spotlight because of where those choices led her.
She chose to pursue a modeling career rather than complete college. She chose to appear in soft porn photos. She chose to date a much older married man and then chose to marry him despite knowing how he had treated his previous wives.
I pity her because her self worth is so tied to her appearance that she spends over an hour a day with her stylist to maintain her looks.
I pity her because she does not have a way out without losing everything - her looks (because she would not be able to afford the artificial means to maintain them), the luxurious lifestyle and most likely access to her son. Those seem to the most important things in her life other than the tyrant she has to appease to keep them.