but it's over 14 years old, so it's probably not the chemicals... the sagging from years of three teenage girls throwing themselves on it dramatically is more of a hazard.

I've suspected they were up to no good for quite some time...

I was watching the fork and the spoon this whole time.

with the end tables. I sometimes hear snickering and rustling noises at night.

I feel it has plans of regaining empire...

A classical American hero in it's deceptively quiet and totally laid back look, it nonetheless leaves no room for ottoman or other stoolies.

... the consumer product safety commission, rather than the EPA?

So maybe it would like to party on RIKERS ISLAND. (That threat usually works for awhile.)

We bought a new couch, chair and ottoman from 2 well-known companies 3 years ago.
I can still smell the chemicals. Can't sit on either piece. Good thing we still have our old living room furniture from 30 years ago before they started using the flame retardants in the fabric and foam.

I'm pretty sensitive to chemicals, so I don't even have carpet in the house.

I hope your sniffer does well for you in life.

And, I hope you find the good things around here in DU.

Finally gave up and bought a very expensive one made without chemicals and gave the smelly one to someone less sensitive. My recliner smelled for several years so I continued to sit on the floor until it outgassed sufficiently.

I've tried to set them on fire a number of times

We don't throw anything out.

It's past due for an overhaul; in fact, we are going to bite the bullet and do that this year. It's not cheap but it is a good piece of furniture. We tend to fix things rather than toss them. It's just our way...!