House Speaker, John Boehner led the assault on Vagina saying:
“We cannot have that disgusting, scientific word used on any political floor anywhere in the country. We are here to do the people’s business and we believe the American people will support us in our choice.
Sausage Box was actually 7th most popular, but the top six were so foul, even I couldn’t go along with them, although some of them were quite funny. Sausage Box is a big favorite in the Boehner family, so I am delighted it was chosen.”
So, yet again Speaker Boehner has shown us his class and leadership and a willingness to move quickly. Privately he said:
“We could not tolerate Vagina being an issue in our campaign to crush Democrats on all fronts in the November election. We believe Sausage Box will defuse the firestorm, now we can get back to hating the President.”
Sausage Box was not Senator McConnell’s first choice, but for the sake of party unity he will go along with it.
Senate Minority Leader, Mitch McConnell, said:
“My vote went to Aunt Hilda’s Hidey Hole but will accept Sausage Box. Speaker Boehner uses it all the time, so I am quite familiar with the term. I do wish Boehner would stop crying, just because he won.”
McConnell added:
“We have straw polls from time to time, most members are not really interested, but this Vagina thing really caught their interest and we recorded a 100 per cent participation from both houses for the first time.
This shows the American people that the Republican party is a party of action and how decisive we are on issues that matter.”
Representative Eric Cantor was disappointed with the choice, but said he would get used to it.
House Majority Leader, Eric Cantor said he was a little dismayed at the choice of Sausage Box:
“My choice was the number one pick among all Republicans, a simple four letter word that just rolls of the tongue, but like the good Republican I am, Sausage Box it is from now on. The American people will notice how we all pull together in a crisis of this magnitude, unlike Democrats who only want to talk about issues that aren’t important.”
But Cantor suggested this is not the end of of the Sausage Box versus Vagina:
“When I eventually get some real power, President maybe, I would consider a new poll and actually pick the number one choice, I will try and get used to Sausage Box, but privately, in the comfort of my own home, I shall continue to use my personal favorite.”
Mother of 28 children, Representative Michele Bachmann, said: “I have never heard of Sausage Box being used for down there, but I like it, after all, that’s what it is. I voted for my husbands favorite, Gash, and he will probably keep using it, but I shall withhold until he uses Sausage Box.”
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