Now that we have Citizens United, how can prostitution be illegal?

(Disclaimer: dawg is against legalized prostitution, and does not wish to argue the merits or demerits thereof in this thread.)

But seriously, I'm entitled to talk a woman into having sex with me. And money is now the same as free speech, so I could just let the money talk couldn't I?

And what about bribery? I'm entitled to use free speech to persuade an official to my point of view. Why not just pay her off?

And what is the difference between that and what the Super PACs and 501(c)4s are doing?

I honestly don't see the difference. When is a bribe not a bribe? Is there a special exception if you use the bribe money to pay for advertising?

I'm mainly just venting frustration at the extreme contortions of logic the Supreme Court is willing to enact in order to best serve their corporate masters. I don't want anyone to die, but if President Obama is re-elected I hope he gets to fill a ton of vacancies on the court.

Somehow, I don't think a prostitute would ever screw me quite as hard or as long as Congress is trying to.