Parker: Pay those peasants no mind, its good to be king

Though Republicans profess to despise Big Government, especially the federal kind, it seems that what they really don’t like is Democracy — and indeed prefer a monarchy.

Yes, yes, the czarina sighed, signaling her weariness with the palace historian’s inevitable scold. I know America is a Republic and not a pure democracy, but let’s not quibble over distinctions that make no difference. They’ve elected a king whether they realize it or not!

The czarina has a point, I do. While true that the U.S. Constitution protects minorities from the majority, there’s more than one way to build a kingdom and hustle the little people. To wit, The Don and his Damsel in the pale blue dress.

Or is it distress, actually?

It’s been ages since New York City’s paparazzi have been able to capture the queen — her lapis-lazuli eyes and arrogant cheekbones but vague recollections from snapshots past. These days, Melania Knauss Trump keeps mostly her own company, touring the cells of her vast, black-tower prison, tending the king’s son and remembering colder days in Slovenia when she knitted her own sweaters.

Who knows what Melania really thinks? Perhaps only her parents, who reportedly spend much of their time between Trump properties in New York and Palm Beach — her father’s years as a member of the Communist Party all but erased from a resume that features the creating of the First Lady of the United States of America.

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