My money's as good as his.

Those guys are being rude and violating gym etiquette. So I'd be more inclined to get a new gym that enforces gym etiquette.

Def time to change gyms.

I can't imagine someone screaming in a gym for one thing. And secondly, I can't imagine no one interceded with the screamer.

Sounds like you found a really shitty gym.

Yelp? Fuck em. I would be there worst enemy. PM me the name of the gym.

It sounds like they are plenty happy to take your money. Maybe the management will see things differently when women start ruining their boys club on social media. Just a thought. Sorry u had to deal with this.

social media account, asking if this is acceptable behavior in their gym.

I've never had that happen to me, but I do go at off hours to avoid the "helpful" men who like to come over uninvited.

If someone comes over and starts acting like a toddler just start recording his temper tantrum and then post the video on the gym's FB page. If he wants to publicly humilate himself, let him.

And like another person said, embarrass the gym on social media. Your money certainly is as good as anyone else's, and no-one should have to deal with aggressive bullshit from stupid testosterone fueled man-children.

In fact, it sounds rather fabricated.

I'm also close to quitting my gym due to rude behavior of the members. People have lost the ability to conduct themselves in public.

Trump encouraged people to throw others out of his rallies. He encouraged violence. He is rude and crass and he is their leader.

Platinum Gym in Tucson. Other members would apparently feel that they had a reservation on a set of machines and would loudly monopolize them for hours, along with their posse that would sit on the equipment and socialize, text, snapchat, etc.
Then, of course, the behavior described in the OP. I refer to such jerks as "Dudebros" or "Fratrats".
Management simply ignored the kvetching from we annoyed subscribers.
I left.

It's bro-central there about half the day. One of the managers/franchise owners is this far || from being a MRA. When he's on shift, his pack of fragile ego'ed wastes of molecules are all over and they seem to follow the women around telling them to get off any machine. (The other half of the day is okay, but one of the metrics for profit is the sale of supplements and products, and the beta pack would buy capsules full of poop if they thought it would make them cut and bulky faster. The other owner is trying to buy out the bro-douche, but it's not easy.)

The municipal gym is exceptionally clear that all machines are first come, first serve, no savsies, and they throw people out for bro behavior.

This is not rare, not new, but it is getting worse.

I'm a small (and gay) woman, and even at an old school gym-rat type gym back in the 80s, no one ever bothered me in that way. On the contrary, the guys were always helpful if I needed a spot for a bench press.

I wouldn't stay one second in a gym that had members that acted that way.

No snark. I am no longer a member there and use the muni, even though the muni has an indoor pool and the building smells strongly of chlorine, and I had to up one of my asthma meds because chlorine is one of my triggers. If my asthma gets worse, I'll switch to the Y, but it's the most expensive of the three in the area. (It also has a pool, but separate ventilation systems.)

I personally call it the Reddit effect -- trolls gonna troll, and trolls in packs want to impose their own reality. I do blame crossfit, and toxic masculinity. And it is new-ish, in that it wasn't a problem 10 years ago, but started becoming one. Entitled douchery is a lifestyle (and that IS snark. )

Sorry, just channeling Will Smith there...

I would not put up with it. If he started that with me, I would just start shouting "SECURITY!!" until the proprietors showed up.

I don't take that mess.

and it worked out quite well.

him. I hate gyms - love some of the equipment but detest most of the clientele.

I don't think it has anything to do with gender though. I've seen tons of people doing annoying 10 machine circuits in the gym where they get all fired up if you dare interrupt. I usually just tell them I'm going to work in since they are using all the other machines too.

They are less inclined to protest too much.

they had too few elliptical machines. So you had to sign up for 15-minute increments on them.

This one girl signed up on all of them for an hours worth of 15-minute increments.

I talked to the management, saying that was the same as staying on one machine for an hour - the whole point was to spread the chance to use the machine.

They agreed and told her not to do that.

Glad you found a new gym. My old gym had a dozen of the standard ones.

Unfortunately for me I need a seated elliptical (I have orthopedic issues from having been 100lbs more than I am now), and my gym only had two. Fortunately most used the standard elliptical machines. I always brought a book because I worked out after I got off of my night shift job in case both were in use, but that was rare. Still, I was able to get to my target heart rate on a high resistance for 45 minutes on the seated elliptical without pain, where less than 15 minutes on a standard one left me limping and not getting any real workout. I was able to lose a lot more weight by getting a true aerobic workout on the seated one even if the standard ones burn more calories per minute.

I had a great gym experience when I was losing. But I also never went for the weights, which to my understanding are fought over a lot more. The resistance settings were such that I also built both arm and leg muscles some, and I alternated how I positioned my arms to work different muscle groups.

Address lack of help at front desk. If no response, then post on your local next door and leave a yelp review.

My gym is not like that. I was harassed by a Trump supporter when I politely asked that politics discussion be left outside.. He did that threatening in my face yelling that men do to women. Unfortunately, I did not get his name because I was told by the gym that he would be expelled from gym for threatening me yelling in my face when I was on equipment.

put it in writing, with time date and details. and plan to change gyms. my wife found a great gym in our neighborhood and it has changed her life; she loves the guys who hit the gym at her time and her trainer also.

everyone deserves to be respected in the gym - working a circuit is no excuse to try to tie up more than one machine at a time. that's it--if your physically between sets on one machine, fine. but only the one you are actually working.

the gym should be a refuge, not an extension of the world's craziness.

Am I missing something here?

And that would make me the problem.

Tune him out after telling him you will let him know when you're done with the machine.

But the thing to do, really, is to talk to the management *before* you begin your workout. Let them know you expect to be able to complete your workout without being harassed. If they can't assure you a safe work out environment you need to get your money back and leave.

There is language that I have to give them so many months notice, but I told him if this keeps up, I'll demand a total instant refund. He had no reply to that.

my lawyer will be giving you a call, motherfucker*.


(* I added that last bit for fun because it's always fun to channel a little Samuel L Jackson in situations like these. You don't have to say it, just thinking it can give you a private chuckle.)

They have never failed me. The worst I've gotten is called a bitch to which I reply, yep. That pretty much ends the conversation.

Love it.

She's been told, "You need to get off this machine or you'll ruin my workout.

The management needs to take a stand. I'm sorry this happens to you.

Meanwhile, I tolerate all their grunting, wretching, dropping weights.

what the hell is that. MEN. Lots of them are slobs. Ugh.

A couple times I've been on a treadmill next to a guy who kept coughing and didn't cover his mouth.

And then there are the ones that spray sweat everywhere.

It's not a gender issue...

I call them shit out of luck, I am a set. Hopefully the management dealt with this, but I suspect it was not treated as much of an issue. I do multiple sets on many different machines which allows me to both work multiple muscle groups and skip camped machines until they are clear. My pet peeve however are the folks (and age is not a factor in who does this) who sit on a machine, do 10 reps, maybe, and then spend minutes texting or selecting a song or who knows what on their phone, before doing 10 more reps. Many folks will get up if you ask to do a quick set, but many won't and get pretty pissy about bing asked. At 55 I have enough stress in my life so I don't (for the most part) let this get me too twisted...

There are only two weight benches, and half the time someone is camped on one of them, on a device.

My other pet peeve is that there is one TV which I like to watch when I'm working out (I don't care for things in my ears, so I don't use my phone or tablet). If someone else has the TV on first, that's fine, first-come, first-served. But most people don't watch the TV. So the peeve is that despite the fact they aren't using it, they pick the treadmill or elliptical right in front of it, rather than picking other machines where it wouldn't matter.

I belonged to a gym for a few years that had two locations - they would alternate being male only or women only (their two locations were just a few miles apart). I loved this. I worked out much better when it was women only.

and goes back and forth for about 15 minutes. It's infuriating. One thing if she was camped on one stack, but BOTH?

Most places used to have a 15-minute rule (if there was someone waiting), and then it just became common courtesy, but now it's all gone kerflooey.

In the small gym at my apartment, for a while there were several young guys who appeared to be practicing for a dancing competition. They'd bring in their own music, and take up the entire mat area doing their synchronized dance, stop, start, stop, start. Of course, it was so amusing and unusual, while I'd normally have been ticked off, I almost couldn't, it was so outrageous that someone would dominate a small space like that!

a year ago where this is rampant. For that and a few other annoyances I am done there May 11. Of course, now I have to look for a new gym...

Over a bulletin board display that the local bully decided was hers. There were only two tracks: band & not band. I learned to play the clarinet that summer. Problem solved. I guess that's the equivalent of finding a new gym.

Seriously, though, I thought most people grew out of that kind of overt bullying behavior by not much past 7th grade. But, then again, look who's in the White House.

ask him if he'd like to work in with you. No one owns any piece of equipment at the gym. If I'm on a piece of equipment and someone approaches the same machine, I'll usually voluntarily tell them how many sets I have left and it it's like 2 or 3 more sets I'll ask them if they'd like to work in with me. They almost always say 'no, i'll come back' and that's it. My pet peeve is when someone is just sitting on the machine checking their phone and not doing any sets for like 10 minutes at a time. In these cases, if I need the machine, I ask them if I can work in with them. They usually get grumpy and move on to another machine.

I workout at home, to fitness videos, with a step, dumbbells, kettlebells, etc

Request that they talk to the jerk, and tell him that no one owns any of the machines. Everyone with a membership, male or female, is an equal member of the gym. No one has priority over anyone else.

If management declines to do so, ask for a refund on your membership and go someplace else. If management refuses, suggest to them that they check the web in the coming week. No threats, just a suggestion.

Then get a Twitter account and a Facebook account if you don't have one. Go on both and explain what happened to you and what management refused to do. Your message: if you're female, stay away from this gym because they treat women like crap. Go on Yelp and Google and every rating website and give the gym a disastrous rating. Give them the same message.

Scream bloody murder on the web. Believe me, the management will regret how they treated you. They'll reconsider how to treat women.

But if the gym does talk to the guy, great. But if he bothers you again, go to management and keep going until he stops.

Most gyms track their Yelp reviews. Bad ones cost $$$ in lost memberships.

It looks like your gym has some asshole members, guys trying to intimidate woman. Anyway I am guessing that the machine is NOT a curl machine, so I recommend you crush his ego, state, "you may need to spend a bit more time over there working on your arms."

I can't imagine this rudeness or that anyone here would tolerate.

Where the hell do you live???

screaming and the other men's screaming that you are going to demand your money back, find a better gym, call the police, and report him to the BBB because he has failed to keep his customers safe. That is a safety issue.

and IGNORE him. If he escalates, tell him you'll get off when you're damn good and ready, and not one minute before.

... between listening to harassment or "consenting" to leave the machine to report the harassment to management.

Minus the victim-blaming, which hopefully wasn't meant in that spirit but instead to point out how women are conditioned by society to feel they *must* deign to acknowledge them or do more than what someone suggested above -- telling him to fuck off -- I agree with your advice, mostly.

I'd get headphones, yes. If I was approached again by someone being verbally abusive when none of their property or their self was on the machine when I arrived, I would say just once "Talk to the manager if you have a problem", then turn up the volume on the music or ebook, ignore them completely, and watch the timer on the machine, committing to adding the length of time they harassed me to my planned workout on that machine. I might also start recording the events on my cell (a small mp3 player for the music to be separate wouldn't be a huge monetary investment compared to the gym membership cost)

And wait for them to either make such an ass of themselves someone else complains, or dare to lay a finger on me. If they did the latter, that's when I'd involve management -- not asking for a refund, but informing them that they had a choice between expelling the person from the gym permanently or deal with law enforcement showing up because I have to report the assault.

So who do think you are? Donald fucking Trump?

pull out your phone camcorder and start recording- Cameras tend to make people uncomfortable and uneasy. I promise something will happen if you choose this route.

If someone just got off and is standing close to a machine, I generally ask "Can I work in?". Meaning I'm going to do my set quickly and then they can get back on. It is not ok to sit on machines or block access to weights between sets. It is polite (obviously) to return free weights and other equipment to their proper place when you are finished. If you are following those basic guidelines, then you should be ok. Even if you are not, the yelling is excessive.

But yes, I get 'cut' all the time by men in the weight room. I am walking directly toward the weight rack and they just cut in front of me like I'm not there. Or get pissy if they walked away and I stepped in to do my set when they were not even THERE. I am super fit, easily in the top 5% of gym users and these guys STILL act like I shouldn't be there. Grrrrr.....

Is it the same guy? Ick. What format is that guy even using to workout? How long are his intervals? Generally, there is 45-60 seconds between intervals, which should be enough time for you to do your set. If he is doing a homemade CrossFit knock off (shorter rest intervals and very structured), then too bad for him. It's a gym and other people have routines too.

They can tell that by looking at me. I'm not in their way at all.

It's hard enough to stay motivated to workout without getting abused on top of it all

Thanks

I hope you don't quit. I know how difficult that kind of situation can be for someone.

I hope you don't quit because you are a far better person than that asshole. We the public need people like you more than we need jerks. Also, you deserve a decent non hostile gym experience. I can't tell you how much shit you should take before you leave but I believe you should be able to leave on your own terms and not be forced out.

It's too bad no one recorded the incident.

I like to believe I am the kind of person that would intervene in such a situation. I like to believe that inexcusable behavior would get people at least coming to stand next to you. It's easy for me to sit here and say you should have told him to fuck off. I grew up in a large Irish Catholic New England family. Telling people off is what we do sometimes to my own detriment. If my wife came home with that story someone would be pulling a dumbbell out of his ass. I'd be in jail or she would've have talked me down from that ledge. Either way I would find him and have words. For you I hope I could've stepped in and suggested "Sir, you need to calm down." I have worked security gigs and can make myself heard w/o yelling. At least take the heat off you. It's not a knight in shining armor thing. It's a I'm a large man who doesn't tolerate bullies and will gladly suffer the slings and arrows of arrogance to alleviate someone else's thing.

My best advice is write a letter to corporate headquarters or email. Get the name of the employee who ignored you. Mention this and your need to quit paying dues over the violence you experienced. What is the company's policy on saving equipment? Does it have one? You have the right to use equipment that is not already in use. You are right that guy is wrong. If the local management does not want to handle the situation corporate will certainly know that losing a paying customer is bad business.

This was a violent situation. Make the company own that you and everyone deserve a safe gym experience. Good luck. Let us know how you make out. You have my full support in what ever you decide to do.

I'd definitely file a complaint in writing.

But my advice for the future is to say "Go talk to the manager if you have a problem", and then turn up the volume on a playlist or Ebook in headphones, shut your eyes, and let the anger at the asshattery make you motivated to do 10-15 more minutes than you planned. If anyone lays a finger on you because you're ignoring their childish displays, then give the manager the choice between expelling the person from the gym or you calling the police to file assault charges.

If someone's tush or property aren't on the machine, it's "snooze or lose" unless the gym has machine signup lists.

how you were treated by fellow members and the management when you complained about the verbal and physical harassment you received. Give them every name of the people at the gym you dealt with that ignored your pleas for help. (Use some of my language)
HQ will lower the boom on a franchisee about stuff like this.

Local solo owner?
Let them know you are filing complaints with the local Better Business Bureau and Chamber of Commerce (local businesses hate this) and if necessary with your state Attorney General because this is consumer safety issue.

Are you on Twitter?
Tweet your whole story there (multiple tweets) while including the twitter handle of the gym in each tweet.
tell you friends to RT, retweet the story too.

Lastly, you need to inform the gym that since they have not taken any action to protect you after all your notifications that if it happens again you reserve the right to call the police to the location if you feel threatened by this man or others acting with him.
Being in a police blotter is the last thing a business like this wants.

If at any point they cancel your membership (because your causing problems for them) then you get to sue the shit out of them.

and threaten to get a lawyer to get it back. I'd also suggest they start marketing to some less arrogant clientele if they want to stay in business. AND that I plan to tell ALL my friends to stay away from the place. I'd also threaten to go to the local media with my story and I'd be ready to DO IT if they didn't unload that bag of snot.

One guy in particular used to rib me about how much (little) weight I lifted and called me weak, small, etc. I got right up in his face and told him that I was doing the best I could and challenged him on some of the endurance and aerobic work that I was doing. Said I'd match him and beat him every time. He wouldn't take the challenge because he knew I'd beat his ass and then some. He quit the gym; I stayed.

Do your best, don't back down, and don't let assholes intimidate you. There's something you do better. Probably a lot of things.

...just curious.

on whatever social media you use, etc.

If more people did this, they'd figure out some way to keep their bullies in line.

I wish it wasn't like that, I warned about how it would get, it's vile as hell...and it's what everyone decided they wanted, so use it.

Pull it out, turn on the camera, inform him what you're doing, record, and upload. Most people can NOT handle the ego hit of a YouTube video mocking them. That's what our world has become, somehow, so make use of it. Be cautious -- some people may fly into a rage. Keep the Mace nearby (seriously, a phone with a Mace reservoir and an activation app would be the biggest female phone seller in 30 years - I'd buy one and I HATE smartphones!).

Be sure to get a license plate too (completely accidentally, of course!). Make certain the manager and any staff who ignore it are caught on the vid as well, and do not edit it under any circumstances. People's narcissism has become their Achilles Heel.

...to other guys like me! They all need to COOL it cause they don't OWN IT!

I'm an old guy -- 72, retired from the Army in 1995 after 28 years. I have been a gym rat for 50 years. I'm not a body-builder or anything like that -- three days a week I go through a routine, about 90 minutes long, that works all major muscle groups that keeps me toned and strong enough for normal activities. I walk 5-8 miles the other four days of the week.

I've NEVER done anything like what happened to you and would never think of doing it. However, I've observed over the past 10 years or so that gym etiquette has gone to hell, mostly as a result of young men who think they own the goddam place. I'm careful never to try to use a piece of equipment if someone else looks as though they are using it. If there's any question if a piece of equipment is in use, I make a point of asking everyone who's standing around if they are using it. If not, I grab it, do my routine, wipe it down, and get out of the way. Back in the day, that's the way it was done.

Now it's not unusual for me to find no one using a piece of equipment. I get with it only to have a 20-something male asshole rush up from across the gym, telling me that's his, he's using it, yadda, yadda, yadda. For the longest time, I excused myself and left the equipment to him.

About six months ago, I stopped being a push-over. No one was using a bench-press bench and stand. I asked, no one was using it. I laid my towel on it, was setting up the weights only to have a 20-something guy run from the other end of the gym and tell me he is using it, he's just at the end of the gym warming up. IN FACT, he was down there hitting on one of the yoga-pants-wearing young women who struts around the place, doing nothing in particular. I went off on him -- told him he was nowhere near the bench, I saw him and he didn't look like he was warming up anything but his mouth, if you want this piece of equipment you need to stay with it, I'm now using the bench, you may wait your turn and you may kiss my ass if you don't like it. I won.

Don't back down, madam. Stand up to the bastards. They are everywhere. It's probably little comfort to you, but you aren't the only one who gets a ration of shit from young men -- happens to us old guys, too.

They really think they're home and it's all theirs. Self-centered little boys.

I am an old gym rat from back in the Glory days of the eighties. Have recorded five hundred pound bench press and eight hundred pound squats in competition.

I go to the gym and the young guys and young women try to do a CrossFit circuit and keep six pieces of equipment tied up. I politely work in when I want if they are doing this. When they complain I tell them they need to work out at 3am or join a CrossFit gym.

Just curious.

I know which machines don't hurt my shoulder and I use those when they're empty. Period.

I have seen men behave like this - generally driving but sometimes on other situations. It's wrong and very unfair. Do you think he had roid rage?

Is staying on the machine worth the risk of being attacked by a roided up asshole? And from the OP's description, it definitely sounds like he was in a rage.

is when they are just sitting there not using it and having a conversation with people or texting on their phones like idiots. And they are always men in their 20s. I'm in my 30s.

On the occasions when I do alternate between two exercises: first I only do this when it's empty on a weekend. But I would take dumbbells to the machine and switch off doing free weights and machine. Working different muscles in quick succession. Never bothering anyone.

This story sounds very odd. The man hating is what makes me question if there's more to the story.

Try Curves or Planet Fitness or any of the lady friendly local gyms out there. There are many options that have different types of clientele. Gyms often give free first time passes if you want to try them out and see which one you like. Gyms with mostly free weights and barbells will have mostly men. Gyms with mostly cardio machines and yoga/pilates/spinning/zumba classes will have mostly women. Anything in between is going to have a blend and hating someone for their gender is still hate.

Not trying to mansplain!

What man-hating? There is no man-hating in anything the OP wrote.

Or is it just that the moment a woman is not fawning all over a man and making sure all his needs are met, she is a man-hater and must be hated for daring to live her life for herself andherself alone?

Welcome to ignore.

women of course. minorities, LGBTQ, and other types of people.

Thanks for the ignore!

I'm pleased to say that I've been a DUer 14 years and have never ever put anyone on ignore. It's good feeling.

A lot of us have had while living in a very sexist society

in any statement about men, and see how it makes you feel.

Think how YOU would feel if you lived in a place where there had never been a single male President, the Senate only included 20 men, and there were only 5 male governors.

Men have a disproportionate share of power. I don't think you should be feeling sorry for yourself because a woman complained about the men bullying her at the gym.

It was pretty sweet to elect a non-white president. The following white-lash was less awesome and people still refuse to believe I could be a US citizen. I supported Hillary and hope we do have a female president soon.

But what does any of that have to do with people being victims in a gym? I don't go around saying "white women think they own the place". If I posted that a middle aged white woman was "following me, harassing me, and yelling at me," most DUers would think I did something to deserve it. I don't think of myself as a victim.

Some racist individuals do think they deserve certain jobs, lifestyles, neighborhoods, and benefits more than me. But not gym machines! They can wait their turn like everyone else. I just think there may be more to the story. And if this is a regular occurrence, there are more female friendly gyms out there that are more deserving of the OP's business and I mentioned a few.

I don't feel sorry for myself and don't feel that I'm oppressing anyone.

wasn't wrong to feel physically threatened by a young bodybuilder in her face at the gym.

It is simple: as a gender, men are bigger and physically stronger than women. And women are more likely to be threatened and harassed by men in gyms and wherever they go, than the reverse.

And for added fun, male bodybuilders are more likely to take steroids and that affects their aggressiveness, too.

Middle aged white women have shot and killed people like me for the perception that we are scary and dangerous threats. Republican women love guns because it's an equalizer for size and strength. I worked with one who had a concealed carry permit and kept a pistol in her purse just in case her delusional fantasies ever come to life.

Look, I don't want any woman to feel threatened or harassed by men anywhere. If I knew the people involved I would tell that guy to go F himself with a bar bell and lay off the steroids or whatever. I've shared a possible solution, go to lady friendly gyms and not have to deal with young bodybuilders.

I don't like being perceived as a dangerous threat when I'm not.

against women than women are against men.

In your example, you should be worried much more about Republican men with guns than Republican women with guns.

https://www.bjs.gov/content/pub/pdf/wo.pdf

About 1 out of 7 violent offenders described by victims was a female. Women accounted for 1 in 50 offend- ers committing a violent sex offense including rape and sexual assault, 1 in 14 robbers, 1 in 9 offenders committing aggravated assault, and more than
1 in 6 offenders described as having committed a simple assault.

Nearly 3 in 4 violent victimizations committed by female offenders were simple assaults; just over half the violence of male offenders is described as simple assault.

Overall, female-to-female violence accounted for 11% of all violent offend- ers described by victims. An additional 3% of violent offenders were women who attacked males.

Violent offenders most often victimized persons of the same gender. More than 3 out of 4 female offenders had a female victim; about 7 out of 10 males had a male victim. About 29% of vio- lent offenders had a victim of a different gender; 9 out of 10 of these offenders were males with female victims.

I just want less hate in this world.

depending on my employment status and what I was training for. I am stronger than most men my size. And yet I get cut constantly at the gym, even by men I know. On some level, they just think they are entitled to more access to the resources. I had a guy SHOULDER CHECK me the other day because I wouldn't move when I had right of way. And that time I heard a couple of guys chatting about how my body was too ripped and they wouldn't want to f@@@ me as a result. And that I was probably a lesbian anyway. WHERE I COULD HEAR THEM. This happen to you when you workout? The guy I was training with that day seemed gobsmacked. It was a notably rude event, but not all that out of the ordinary for me.

Not all men. But the thing the OP is talking about is real.

If you thought someone was harassing or disrespecting you because of your race, I would take that seriously.

it is shitty for them to do that. Entitled people are pretty shitty. If I saw it, I would be gobsmacked too because it's notably rude. I would hope that people are better than that.

For my race, I have been mistaken for cleaning staff a few times. I'm also not in very good shape compared to others at the gym and could stand to lose some belly fat.

I try to maintain good gym etiquette and normal human decency: wipe down sweaty machines, no more than 30min on cardio machines, let people work in between sets, put free weights back in their place, etc. I don't even bring a cell phone into the gym and we have a no calling/texting/photos rule at mine anyway so it would only be for music. And I try to go at less crowded times.

If you pay your dues and follow basic etiquette, there should be no problems. But sadly, it doesn't work that way

Calm . He chased me to the desk. He was the aggressor.

Men really don't want women my age there. They love the young pretty ones, that's for sure!

I'll look around for a new one and kill the credit card that pays the dues. I have lots of credit cards. That's easy.

and a few got really nasty when I firmly turned down their advances. A few were OK. I even married one of them.... Now that I'm solidly middle-aged, the 'old' guys chat me up. I get confused. Why is this old guy hitting on me? Oh wait! I'm old too

Although I get a some petty disrespect at my current gym, they would NEVER tolerate someone yelling at another customer. 'Roid rage? Who knows.

Be careful about cancelling the credit card if you signed a contract. Some will send it to a collections agency if you do that.

Unless the gym has some posted policy allowing this lunk to boot people off of the machines, then he's an asshole, and she shouldn't have to join another gym to accommodate him.

Calling out asshole behavior is not man-hate.

But when the gym's management won't do anything about the asshole behavior, there are competitors who would be happy to get new business.

That is absolutely unacceptable. Sick and tired of weak, pathetic jerks trying to intimidate and overcompensate. I have never encountered such a thing in the gym. Sorry you had to deal with that nonsense.

I can imagine one asshole acting like this (3 times in a row is a stretch), but for the rest of the gym to not intervene, when someone is screaming in the middle of the floor like you describe, is just about incomprehensible.

As opposed to a standalone machine not in a "cycle" round? Is it possible he was doing the cycle round on a group of machines for that purpose, and you were on one of them, not realizing it was there for those doing the quick runs from machine to machine? That happened to me once. He was pretty rude. But I didn't know it was a machine on one of those rounds.

If not, then there is no need to ask if someone owns the machine. They don't. Just tell him he'll have to wait his turn, like we all have to wait.

Of course, if the place is crowded and you're taking too long, expect to get some flack.

Some gyms oversell, so there are too many people there.

Politely tell him to go fuck himself.

Actually, impolitely tell him to go fuck himself. With a broom handle.

Or flip him the bird and turn on the music.

Why in the world should you actually get up and do what he says?

Gyms and fitness places are toolsheds filled with either bros who don't know what they're doing (but think they do) or sweathog monopolizer creeps who don't know what they're doing.

Since I'm mostly a body-weight person now with dumbbells and pull-up bars in my garage, and I have running trails and a small beach nearby, a gym is really like overkill now anyway, so it's all for the better. This is especially beneficial when it comes to locker rooms, which some creeps treat as a nudist colony

I mean, most don't do it, but once in a while.....You can't unsee that!

You had that awful experience. That has never happened to me but I've only joined women only gyms. I don't belong to one any more because it's cheaper & easier to exercise at home and I'm not exposed to germs etc. That behavior is not ok. I'd complain higher up. I'd also videotape it and post it somewhere. I think I would consider changing gyms, demand a full refund but still make a big complaint and post online reviews.

You have to give them the deathstare, but this is something management should handle. They are the ones responsible for making sure all their clientele feel welcome.

You have every right to be there and use the equipment as anyone. Do not be intimidated, do not feel bad for telling them go f themselves.

It's the management's job to do that. If they're not on the machine, it's okay for you to use it. These jerks need to not take 20 minutes between sets to socialize.