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madinmaryland

(64,933 posts) Tue Jul 3, 2012, 05:04 PM Jul 2012

Report of Plight Of Millions Of Unemployed Americans Results In Round Of High-Fives At Romney's HQ

BOSTON—Bleak unemployment numbers released Wednesday reportedly sent a wave of applause cascading through the headquarters of Mitt Romney's presidential campaign, with staffers rejoicing at news that millions of jobless Americans will continue to face crippling debt and emotional hardship as the election draws near.

Calling the Labor Department report a "major boost" for the campaign, sources confirmed the grim economic data and deeply troubling descent of unemployed Americans into utter financial ruin spurred a round of high-fives among Romney aides, followed by repeated hoots, hollers, and whistles.

"Yes!" said senior strategist Stuart Stevens, slamming his hand triumphantly on his desk while scanning recent household survey figures that confirm recovery of the labor markets remains discouragingly slow. "Are you guys seeing this? Someone go make copies. I want everyone to see this right now."

"Has anyone told Mitt yet?" he added as news spread from cubicle to cubicle along with fresh bursts of cheering. "Tell [senior adviser] Beth [Meyers] to put him on speakerphone. He's going to totally flip out."

Read more: http://www.theonion.com/articles/report-on-continuing-plight-of-millions-of-unemplo,28672/

11 replies

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Report of Plight Of Millions Of Unemployed Americans Results In Round Of High-Fives At Romney's HQ (Original Post) madinmaryland Jul 2012 OP

Our lives, just a game to them. They haven't suffered, period. freshwest Jul 2012 #1

You do realize that's from The Onion, right? Wounded Bear Jul 2012 #2

Yeah, but Mittens LOL before about closing town factories. freshwest Jul 2012 #6

This message was self-deleted by its author Control-Z Jul 2012 #3

LOL!!! Marrah_G Jul 2012 #4

Onion Control-Z Jul 2012 #5

Yeah. Read the following for an eerily correct prediction of the Bush Misadministration... madinmaryland Jul 2012 #8

Sometimes The Onion is just too darn close to reality. Avalux Jul 2012 #7

When did the onion start reporting the real news? SoutherDem Jul 2012 #9

Clearly, today etherealtruth Jul 2012 #10

I knew it was from the Onion just from the photo (the black Romney staffer was the giveaway) Tom Ripley Jul 2012 #11

freshwest

(53,661 posts)

1. Our lives, just a game to them. They haven't suffered, period.

Reply to madinmaryland (Original post)

Tue Jul 3, 2012, 05:10 PM

Jul 2012

Wounded Bear

(58,728 posts)

2. You do realize that's from The Onion, right?

Reply to freshwest (Reply #1)

Tue Jul 3, 2012, 05:19 PM

Jul 2012

Sure, it's believable, but it's a spoof.

freshwest

(53,661 posts)

6. Yeah, but Mittens LOL before about closing town factories.

Reply to Wounded Bear (Reply #2)

Tue Jul 3, 2012, 05:26 PM

Jul 2012

What the hell does he know about being without a job? Mr. Job Creator who ordered his employees to build a platform for him to stand on, in an ambush move to announce their jobs were gone, a parody of Gordon Gecko in Wall Street. It's a joke to them..