Washington, any time you're ready
"Donald Trump startled the nation and the world today announcing, in the presence of the White House physician, that he is beyond the beginning stages of dementia associated with Alzheimer's disease. His Vice-President, Mike Pence announced he would be resigning at the same time 'out of solidarity,' although sources within the Justice Department said that an indictment of Pence for perjury, obstruction of justice and violations of the RICO Act were pending any day now, and that his resignation would put a hold on any indictments being handed down.
"Acting president Paul Ryan, next in line for succession, said he would take the oath of office 'any time now,' but did not specify when that might be. His office said he had arranged an emergency meeting with former Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton and former President and professor of Constitutional Law Barack Obama to see if there was any way he could hand the presidency to Mrs. Clinton instead. In other news, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell of Kentucky denied rumors he had met with paid killers linked to organized crime in Wisconsin. He said the two men, Giovanni Pagamorto and Arturo Corta-la-Testa, both of Milwaukee, were merely long-time family acquaintances."
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