Exclusive: Trump's official leak complaint has been leaked. Here it is:

Dear Sir,

On behalf of the president of the United States, I would like to file a leak complaint. These leaks have occurred while President Trump was on a recent overseas trip and at the Oval Office with Russian visitors. On several occasions, the president's Depends incontinence underwear have leaked, and as a result he has had to miss important engagements. You may remember that he had to suddenly return to his hotel in Israel, after arriving from the Middle East. Please make whatever adjustments are necessary to help make America Great Again and forward monies directly to Eric Trump's fund to help children in order to avoid bigly bad publicity.

Sincerely,

Marc Kasowitz