I just read the article at The Hill I linked and the conversation was FAR more inane than what I had imagined in the OP. He tells the Governor that Guam is beautifully all over the media and congratulates him that his tourism will go up ten fold after reassuring him somewhat in the fashion I had imagined.

This joker it putting satire out of business!

I'd like to order a pizza, please- A terrific pizza, bigger than any pizza anyone's ever seen, with double everything on it, and I'd like Mexico to pay for it.

Listen, don't worry about nukes coming your way. Just relax. I'm a big, 100% behind...I'm behind you 100%, that is...This is going to bring you the biggest tourists. By the way, I've been meaning to call you about building a golf course there. Oh, and can you send me some kadon pika?"

"You bet, Eddie, if I knew a guy like me was in charge, I'd sure feel better knowing I was me, someone like I've always been, and who would know better than I would, since I know what I said when I said I meant it that I'd be fine with me in charge, someone who can think clear enough to know who is in change and feel good because it was someone I know as me. See? . . . So now you can relax."