Idiotic Questions About the 2017 Great American Total Solar Eclipse

Cover your windows and hide your pets. The shadow is coming, and we are all going to die.

The “Great American Eclipse” of 2017 is just days away, and my family is traveling to Oregon to see it. Our trip is the culmination of years of planning. Meanwhile, I’m hearing some rather interesting questions from people who are just now tuning in.
I see experts answering these questions patiently, and I want do the same. But, some of these questions are just dopey. Still, they deserve answers.

Therefore, with malice toward none, here I answer the worst questions I’ve heard regarding the total solar eclipse. These are real questions that I’ve been asked personally or seen in places such as the Washington Post’s live chat.

Warning: There is swearing ahead.

Where Can I Buy Solar Eclipse Glasses?

This is actually not a dumb question, but did you look around at all before you asked? They are everywhere. Circle K, Kroger, 7-Eleven, Walmart, Lowe’s, Toys R Us, and, of course, at many online vendors. The Washington Post has compiled a list of vendors selling eclipse glasses as well as places you can get them for free.

If I walk around outside during the eclipse, should I always wear the eclipse glasses?

Yes, although a blindfold would work equally well. In fact, just to be safe, why not start wearing it all the time starting now?

What about while driving?

According to the North Carolina Motor Vehicles, eclipse glasses should not be worn while operating a motor vehicle. They also recommend removing them while shaving, using heavy machinery, nor performing surgery.

Do I need tickets for the eclipse?

Yes, but watch out for fakes. The Onion is on it.

More: https://medium.com/andrewjcohen/idiotic-questions-about-the-2017-great-american-total-solar-eclipse-4e309efe73bd