Oh, he'll start out seeming sort of calm. But they've had him bottled up for what seems an interminably long time to him. He'll begin by making a few comments about the new Afghanistan plan, "The BEST plan, EVER! Complete strategic, you know tactical genius. Everyone who's heard about it agrees it's the best..."
But as he continues, we'll see him almost imperceptibly jump now and then, and look off stage. That will be caused by the dog training shock collars that he's wearing around each ankle. And he'll begin drifting off subject.
As things continue, he'll jerk hard, General Kelly having turned up the settings on the shock collars. Kelly will be frantically mashing the button on the remote for the collars at this point, but to no avail. And that will make him defiant. He'll look off stage and someone will pan over with the camera. There we'll see Kelly giving him a hard stare and shaking his head. Then Trump will just lose it, veer completely off course, and start raving utter lunacy.
Kelly will rush onto the stage and try to grab him, but Trump will evade. Then they'll race around the podium thirty or forty times, Kelly lunging, and Trump screaming gibberish, until Kelly finally tackles him around the knees.
Trump will begin to bellow like an injured water buffalo, and Kelly will have no choice but to use the stun gun on him, at which point he'll piss his pants and curl up in a ball.
His entire staff will rush onto the stage, trying to block camera lenses with their hands as Trump begins screaming, "No! No! No! I'm the best! Everybody says so! Helllllppppp!"
Live news feeds will stop at that point, but later on we'll be treated to the Republican members of the House and Senate saying things like, "I feel that the President made a very salient point regarding our strategy in South Asia..."
At that point, I'll crack open two tubes of airplane glue and cram one up each nostril, breathing deeply...
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