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I hear Joel Osteen has been in prayer all day (Original Post) underpants Aug 2017 OP
If he's looking for an opportunity to do the Lord's work gratuitous Aug 2017 #1
You are so right! Lifelong Protester Aug 2017 #3
He's really worried about the collection plate this Sunday calguy Aug 2017 #2
He prays for more money to come pouring in. lpbk2713 Aug 2017 #4
I recently learned that my brother is a fan? follower? brain rotted sheep? of his. Solly Mack Aug 2017 #5
So I guess they're not Baptists. lpbk2713 Aug 2017 #7
Oh, no. He calls himself a southern baptist. Solly Mack Aug 2017 #9
If your brother wasn't born stupid, you can hope the fever breaks Warpy Aug 2017 #10
He wasn't born stupid but he seems to have an affinity for it nonetheless. Solly Mack Aug 2017 #11
In Scientology lingo, a similar voodoo faith, that would make you a Suppressive Person (SP). TheBlackAdder Aug 2017 #14
Yes. I thought of that first thing. Solly Mack Aug 2017 #15
Likely a meeting with his PR(ayer) staff Warpy Aug 2017 #6
You mean Joel O$teen? True Dough Aug 2017 #8
The 7 Keys ChubbyStar Aug 2017 #18
I like the use of "prey" as opposed to "pray" True Dough Aug 2017 #21
So what is there, a 61st Commandment? jmowreader Aug 2017 #24
Warren Zevon sang about him in Werewolves of London ChubbyStar Aug 2017 #26
Here's a verse for Joel to live by... True Dough Aug 2017 #27
Do people think that actually helps? FLPanhandle Aug 2017 #12
FUCK PRAYER! DO SOMETHING! Iggo Aug 2017 #13
praying to his God for deliverance rurallib Aug 2017 #16
Yes, those Benjamins will save Joel. nt Blue_true Aug 2017 #20
Thou shalt moveth the cash to higher ground. Sneederbunk Aug 2017 #17
Is he sweating blood? Bet he claims he was. nt Blue_true Aug 2017 #19
Too bad for prayer Loge23 Aug 2017 #22
praying for more $$ boston bean Aug 2017 #23
A friend claimed this so called church was flooded. Elwood P Dowd Aug 2017 #25
Oh, that's going to do the victims a fat lot of good. smirkymonkey Aug 2017 #28
I thought that was why the sun fin ally came out CanonRay Aug 2017 #29

gratuitous

(82,849 posts)
1. If he's looking for an opportunity to do the Lord's work
Tue Aug 29, 2017, 04:46 PM
Aug 2017

I suggest he get off his knees and fucking do something. There's enough of us praying across the country, and he's in a position to actually render some direct help.

lpbk2713

(42,757 posts)
4. He prays for more money to come pouring in.
Tue Aug 29, 2017, 04:49 PM
Aug 2017



He's been getting a lot of free publicity. His wish just might come true.

Solly Mack

(90,767 posts)
5. I recently learned that my brother is a fan? follower? brain rotted sheep? of his.
Tue Aug 29, 2017, 04:50 PM
Aug 2017

They stopped speaking to me - his entire family (wife, adult children) - and I finally found out why.

I'm an atheist and apparently that makes me a negative influence on their spirituality.

lpbk2713

(42,757 posts)
7. So I guess they're not Baptists.
Tue Aug 29, 2017, 04:55 PM
Aug 2017



If they were good Baptists they would try to convert your evil ways.




Warpy

(111,261 posts)
10. If your brother wasn't born stupid, you can hope the fever breaks
Tue Aug 29, 2017, 04:59 PM
Aug 2017

I have a cousin whose adult children got sucked into one of those megachurches with prosperity theology shouted to the rafters. Took them a while, but they eventually realized the only on prospering was the preacher as those greasy dollar bills from tithes no one could really afford kept rolling on in.

Until then, distance and silence are probably best, although it's hard on the kids not knowing their family.

Warpy

(111,261 posts)
6. Likely a meeting with his PR(ayer) staff
Tue Aug 29, 2017, 04:54 PM
Aug 2017

Osteen is one of the biggest frauds out there. He knows exactly how much good praying is going to do him in this situation. He's most likely screaming at his PR staff to come up with something.

ChubbyStar

(3,191 posts)
18. The 7 Keys
Tue Aug 29, 2017, 06:23 PM
Aug 2017

1. Learn to rip people off
2. Plenty of Botox
3. Whiten your teeth
4. Snag trophy wife
5. Hair plugs
6. Get on the TV with God as your pimp
7. PREY. ABOVE ALL ELSE PREY.

My review of his "book."

True Dough

(17,305 posts)
21. I like the use of "prey" as opposed to "pray"
Tue Aug 29, 2017, 06:38 PM
Aug 2017

It indicates how predatory these televangelist types really are.

jmowreader

(50,557 posts)
24. So what is there, a 61st Commandment?
Tue Aug 29, 2017, 07:40 PM
Aug 2017

"Thou shalt make sure your hair and makeup are always perfect. I am the Lord."

True Dough

(17,305 posts)
27. Here's a verse for Joel to live by...
Tue Aug 29, 2017, 07:50 PM
Aug 2017

Ecclesiastes 5:10: "He who loves money will not be satisfied with money, nor he who loves abundance with its income. This too is vanity."



Elwood P Dowd

(11,443 posts)
25. A friend claimed this so called church was flooded.
Tue Aug 29, 2017, 07:44 PM
Aug 2017

Then I read this afternoon where they were putting down air mattresses and were finally taking people. So which is it? Were those pics showing it flooded fake?

 

smirkymonkey

(63,221 posts)
28. Oh, that's going to do the victims a fat lot of good.
Tue Aug 29, 2017, 07:56 PM
Aug 2017

How about a nice big donation, Joel? Has that ever occurred to you?

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