Gave a speech saying girls that dressed a certain way are asking to be raped!

Outrageous! The sports teams would stay at hotel where I worked and the wait staff couldn't stand it when he would stare down the girls with his brown beady eyes.

Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.

Bobby Knight...predator.

What an awful man. I knew Knight treated his players like crap but somehow didn't know about him being so wretched towards women, not that I ever liked the guy.

Rape is about power and humiliation. Either a penis or an object can be the weapon.

It is largely men's problem. They're the ones who are going to have to take it seriously and change their culture.

I don't see it happening. It keeps women afraid and in line too well.

That little sundress is haunting.

proud and so happy to wear such a pretty dress. And then to have something so monstrous happen to her -- so evil. I hope it haunts everyone who sees it so they don't forget how many victims of this crime are children and elderly women (and of course men -- men suffer rape obviously especially in prison but out of it as well but it does not discussed) -- not the ridiculous fantasies of attractive women wearing miniskirts or whatever is "inappropriate."

wherein the penis is certainly NOT a weapon.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_of_males#Female-on-male_rape

However, welcome to our world.

Welcome to my world. All forms of sexual violence should be condemned.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/male-rape-survey-threats-blackmail-lies-lying-compelled-penetrate-rumours-sexual-violence-a7867121.html

https://thoughtcatalog.com/lorenzo-jensen-iii/2014/08/19-men-share-stories-of-being-raped-by-a-woman-nsfw/

By the way, one of the sets of clothing on display was a man's.

or the goal posts you just moved.

Front wall, center. Very tall. Unlikely to be female.

As a guy I'm offended by how that "justification" basically says in theory I could be so overcome based on what a woman was wearing I couldn't stop myself from sexually assaulting her.

into Gawd's Law.

Your post just caused that unfortunate item to pop into my head. Now it's suddenly time for a cocktail.

As a mother of sons, I cringe at a message that men are so powerless over their emotions that clothes could "make" them violently attack somebody. What ridiculous nonsense.

with the sometimes ridiculous dress codes that schools impose on girls but not boys. They are telling the girls "don't ask for it" and excusing the boys because they are supposedly powerless to control their own feelings. That's a terrible message for both boys and girls.

That makes me want to cringe, brer.

From women. "Well, what did she expect?"

Here too? Makes me want to weep.

I could not believe it. They claimed it was "just common sense."

Girls were taught in parochial school that they should not be a cause for an "occasion of sin".

No one I know drills this into their children. I would never do such a thing either.

Most parents of rapists are shocked and horrified.

Who described the "talk" he had to have with his son once that basically said, "When you get to a certain age, women will be afraid of you."

You're so right this myth portrays men as brutes.

I feel haunted when I look at that, mcar. Looking at the exhibit, the empty clothing feels like you are in the room with the victims ghosts, they are alive but the empty shell of what they lost remains....and I am not talking about their clothing.

Every time I go into a bank to get money, they show me money. They are begging to be robbed.

Criminals will go to any lengths to justify their crimes.

Just to be clear: When I was married, if my wife and I were seconds away from intercourse or even engaged in intercourse her (or me) saying no or stop meant NO or STOP.

No matter what the excuse, having sex without consent from both parties is RAPE. Men RAPE women. They are criminals and monsters. I suppose it would be possible for a woman to rape a man but then if my arms were really long and the moon was made of cheese I would be even more overweight than I am.

The idea that a woman deserves to be raped because of her attire is evil and stupid. I do not have the words to express what a load of Orange Shit that is.

Men are also committing suicide in enormous numbers (patriarchal myths definitely shame men into silence on these issues since they ar terrified of showing "weakness&quot . All forms of sexual violence need to be condemned, and I think it helps anyone who thinks that rape is about women who dress too provocatively or whatever to know how many victims -- children, elderly, men of all ages, plus of course women of all shapes and sizes and backgrounds and ethnicities, are the victims of this violence.

Men do get raped. Children also. Your post is correct in pointing out my error. Thank you.

Too many people dismiss the idea of men as victims of rape/sexual assault. It wasn't more than a year ago, at this site, I was told that I wasn't sexually assaulted because I am gay and my attacker was male; I was literally told "can't rape the willing!" See, my being gay and male meant that I am always in the mood for sex and the very notion I would ever refuse sex was preposterous. Needless to say, I was flabbergasted and pissed off like I haven't been in years. Thankfully, others rallied around me.

Again, I appreciate your speaking up on our behalf.

It really destroyed him, and he died of alcoholism at the age of 34. I'm glad you made it through.

One of the sets of clothing on display is a mans. Rape, male or female is flat out wrong.

They were a mans, raped by another man. Statistics...women are raped far more often, yet there are men as well.

Rape is wrong. Period and it has never been about clothes.

Using myself as an example at 17 years of age. I was homeless, and I was raped. But there was truly a petrifying fear of reporting this for a number of reasons:
First and foremost, that many policemen especially in the 1970's (practically any I'd ever known to that point anyway) tended towards notorious homophobia. I knew someone had committed a brutal crime against me. I was physically injured, considerably from this. But I feared the notion of any attempt to report this would be laughed right out of the police station.
Secondly that any such reporting of what happened to me would result in questioning me, who I was, where I (ahem) "belonged": because I chose homelessness, starvation and staying off radar as the safer alternative to certain death that "home" would have been.
I've had to carry multiple PTSD scars all my life coming from a parent who actively sought my demise. It bothers me greatly that many of the "religious" sort would have had it exactly that way.
Yet frankly the most bothersome aspect of the whole shit pie I got served as a gay youth was that all I had to do to escape my circumstances was live a lie. Lie to myself and others. Keep track of that lie. Keep a false front and a feigned interest in "the norm".
I've paid a steep price for that bit of honesty all my adult life.

I can only hope your life is better now.

As a transgender woman after being assaulted and raped I had people including some of my female friends who said, well, you should wear pants and jeans instead of skirts.

Grrr.

... stop crying. This breaks my heart.

Sexy items of clothing too?

And everyone in between. Shattering the myth.

in nursing homes raped. So, is the person who got raped at fault for wearing depends and lying in a bed a good reason for claiming they were asking for it? They were lying in a bed waiting for it you know.

...especially heartbreaking.

Recommended.

but the child's dress is simply heartbreaking. Six years old! And her mother wondered why she wouldn't wear her dresses anymore.

I don't know how anyone could survive that.

Or maybe not. It's amazing how resilient the human spirit is. I lived through that nightmare as a child. 3 of my uncles. They say that a part of you dies going through it. I would agree but I would also add that you either dwell in the hell of it or you transform and move to another place. I dwelled in the hell for a while but I moved forward to another place. I didn't know my own strength and now I help others.

How was that baby asking for it? My god.

I plan to show this to my pre-teen son. After I take a deep breath and wipe my eyes.

Your posts are always news to me. Makes me think. It takes a village.

Thank you...

"Men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid men will kill them." I think I first saw it on the wall of a battered women's shelter where I was helping out.

And incredibly sad, grammy.

Unless you've honestly had to consider how to mitigate a bad situation too try and keep from being hurt, maimed, or even worse, killed. You can't understand the real horror behind it.

I quoted this to my husband many years ago. Stopped him cold. He looked directly at me and said, that is true and you should always remember it.
Army, work, life, he's been around more men than me, says he's heard men say things about women that made his blood run cold. Like the "grab em by the pussy" tape, only far worse. Definitely not "locker room banter." My husband's always hated trump, but that tape really got to him. complete disgust!

How many men also know what your husband knows, but remain unaffected?

How many join in?

How many say nothing but don't consider how they behave with women?

How many do anything other than speak out?

I know it affected him because he was very protective of our daughter and warned her often of the evils in the world. Be alert, he'd tell her, don't leave your drink unattended, keep your friends close. There's some bad guys out there. Did he speak up at the time? I didn't ask him, but doubtful.

But really, to your point. America's rape culture will continue to flourish as long as good men (and women) remain silent, just like everything else; Silence is consent. I remember when I was working in a mostly male environment, the guys always had a sexy calendar up in the break room that we all had to walk through, and I never cared. But then, a few put up some real raunchy posters and I objected. When they stayed up, I complained to my boss, who promptly took them down. He had seen them too and just ignored it. A couple of the men were pissed (assholes) but several thanked me. Said they were embarrassed everytime a woman walked through the room. I asked them why they didn't say something. They just shrugged. I concluded, men are afraid of each other too. At the time, I was a single mom with two young sons and I made this a lesson for them. Don't be afraid to speak out for women. When you know something's wrong or you know your mom would object, say something!

Hope all's well with you, Blanche.

Haunting. You can feel them there and sense their presence.

Of course I/he didn't rape her, just look at her!

As if the victim weren't good looking enough to qualify for their depravity.

I can't remember who, a reporter I think.

No I did not ask for it. No I did not deserve it or provoke it. I remember the police asking me these questions. I was 6 years old. You keep the secret. You carry the shame and guilt. And when you get the courage to speak, you get shit on. I'm supposed to trust the police? Trust that they will protect me and keep me safe? Hell no. And working with victims on becoming survivors, I still see this being played out when they are questioned by police. The predators are enabled and the victims still carry the shame and guilt. That becomes part of our survival. Finding a way to release that takes a victim to a survivor.

You sound like a strong woman and a survivor. Thank you for helping others on that path to survival.

I had to be. I didn't want my life destroyed before it had begun. And I certainly don't want young girls and women to face the same fate. I knew I had to do what I could. I have conducted multiple sensitivity trainings in several police departments. It is still appalling that some are ill-equipped to question victims. I have met some incredibly strong women along the way though.

Not that I saw...yet they are there as well.

Thanks for posting this. Visuals always have more impact than words .... that little girl's dress.

Sadly they are, sarge.

Yes...her sweet little dress.

Your posts are so important. I always fear that "Women's Issues" (cruddy phrase for our gender specific oppressions) will be shoved down to the bottom shelf as usual.

❤️

No matter how hard they try, there are more of us than them. We just keep fighting.

You're right!
More people are getting informed now than ever-since-the-rise-of-corporate-newsfotainment.

😚💝

and finally am connecting all the pieces....excellent exhibit....so much must be done for full equality, FOR ALL, in this crazy-assed country...now even crazier...YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!!!!