Mitch McConnell: It Would Really Help Me Out If You Guys Could Just Give Up Your Health Insurance

Hey there, it’s your ol’ pal, Mitch. How’ve you been? Great, great. Anyways, I got a small favor to ask. You see, I’ve got this problem that’s been bothering me for a while and I was kind of hoping you could give me a hand with it. Basically, it would really, really help me out right now if you could just give up your health insurance this one time.

I know, I know, you’ve got other things to deal with right now. I get it. But I’m kind of in a pinch at the moment and if you just want to go ahead and get rid of your health coverage, as well as any coverage for your spouse and children, I’d greatly appreciate it. Seriously, it would mean so much to me if you did that.

Honestly, it would be pretty quick and easy. All you have to do is take a minute or two and dump whatever insurance you’ve got: HMO, PPO, prescription drug coverage, opioid treatment, mental health services, hospice care, everything. Oh, and your maternity leave. I’m definitely gonna need that, too. If I’m being honest, the sooner you could eliminate those things, the better it would be for me.

And let me make it clear: this is all I’m asking. You drop your access to affordable healthcare just this once and I swear I won’t bother you again. That’s it. Promise.

http://www.theonion.com/blogpost/it-would-really-help-me-out-if-you-guys-could-just-57030