Hey Joe

It was fifty years ago today that Jimi recorded this song. As much as I like his music, it's not exactly what I want to write about this evening.

Last night, while I was buying groceries, a gentleman with long hair and beard stopped in his chair in front of me. I'd seen him in the store once before, and thought he looked like a late friend, a Vietnam veteran, also in a chair. He had been coming in the other direction in the isle, so we were facing each other. He said he no longer likes people in general (except his family), and prefers being a hermit. By appearance, he noted, I was likely the same.

We ended up talking for about an hour, including his showing me pictures of his family. It turns out he lives on a dirt road outside a town where I lived about 40 years ago, although I was even more remote and isolated there than him. (After a year, I could see the driveway to a new house in the distance, so I moved.)

He had held a fairly high rank, and also taught at a military school. Both of his sons are currently stationed in war zones, one near or in Iraq, the other in Afghanistan. However, he told me, he never follows the “news” these days. It turns out that my younger son knows his younger boy. Also, he is acquainted with one of my friends, and had known the friend he reminded me of. Like them and I, he shares the feeling our nation is in trouble, but prefers not to think – much less talk – about it.

Since getting home, I've been thinking about that. I suspect his political and social points of view are distinct from my own, and respect his not wanting to discuss them. He did give me a card, with his e-mail on it, and I think that I'll be contacting him at some point. But not to discuss the topics I usually talk to people about. And that's fine.

In part, I think “current events” can be difficult to discuss, because of the 24 hour news cycle that focuses on an issue for 48 to 72 hours, then goes on to the next topic. Add that during the Trump era, so many issues are outrages. And, even among some relatively good, intelligent people, the threads between the issues and outrages aren't recognized or fully understood.

Over the years I've been on DU, I've noticed some topics often result in foolish arguments. Two that come to mind involve issues of sex and race. Quite often, it is due to people reacting emotionally to those topics. Obviously, passion and emotion can be part of rational discourse; yet, many irrational arguments involve passions and emotions.

With Trump's insulting phone call to the wife of one of the four men killed in military action in Niger, we see rational and passionate discussions on DU. This is, in part, because Trump is an offensive specimen, even when discussing minor issues such as a piece of cake. On important issues, he is a flaming asshole. Hence, on an issue that includes sex and race – and other important factors – there tends to be a general consensus on DU.

Yet, the discussions on the sexual predator from Hollywood included a few things I found to be less on point. Certainly, there are examples of men being harassed, but in my opinion, that is beside the important point that we should be concentrating. And I say that as a man who was twice subjected to unwanted advances while on the job.

The first time was when I was 17, and doing carpentry work in a diner. I was on a ladder, and the owner came and grabbed me in a place he had no business touching me. I assume he forgot I had a hammer in my hand, but I didn't.

The second time was in a human service job. I was in my office, working overtime, and assumed the building was otherwise empty. I was surprised when my new supervisor came in, and asked me, “Do you want to have some wild sex, or what?” I said, “Or what” on my way out the door.

Now, I've had good supervisors, as well as jackasses who liked to make life miserable for me. But none of these experiences come close to what I know my daughters have faced in the past. More, I realize that many, many other women have endured far worse than my daughters. Thus, when I talk to them, I could talk about my experiences, but not to suggest that I know how they felt. Just that I can try.

Somehow, we need to talk about these types of issues. Such discussions can often involve strong emotions and deeply rooted passions, but can still be rational. It's not a contest to see what group or individual has suffered the most. It is necessary, to move forward so that no one is subjected to harm.

Just my opinion.
H2O Man