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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsTrumps Golden Rule of Governing
Link to tweet
https://crooked.com/article/trump-golden-rule-governing-pee-tape/
Its November 2013 and youre Donald Trump. By your standards its a normal weekend, which means youre sitting in the presidential suite of the Moscow Ritz Carlton fuming at Barack Obama. In part youre fuming because youre very racist, and in part youre fuming because Obama publicly humiliated you more than two years ago. If you were more self-aware than a mosquito, youd realize these were heavily intertwined sources of aggrievement.
In any case, neither the opulence all around you, nor the celebrity-welcome youve just received, can lighten your mood. When you learn that Russia hosted the Obamas in the same suite in 2009, your mood darkens further. You cant let go of your anger. You must do something.
After 45 minutes of rocking hypnotically in a gaudy piece of hotel furniture, inspiration strikes. Your plan requires the participation of young womenspecifically white womenbut discretion dictates that you cannot solicit professional escorts yourself, so you ask a younger man in your entourage to make the request for you.
Upon their arrival, you hand each a glass of champagne, and lead them graciously to the master bedroom, where you imagine the Obamas once slept. It is very hard to settle a score with the president of the United States, but you intend to try. At your direction, one after another, everyone in the room urinates on the bed. Maybe you top it all off with a dribbling of your own. You laugh maniacally. Victory is yours.
Except
In any case, neither the opulence all around you, nor the celebrity-welcome youve just received, can lighten your mood. When you learn that Russia hosted the Obamas in the same suite in 2009, your mood darkens further. You cant let go of your anger. You must do something.
After 45 minutes of rocking hypnotically in a gaudy piece of hotel furniture, inspiration strikes. Your plan requires the participation of young womenspecifically white womenbut discretion dictates that you cannot solicit professional escorts yourself, so you ask a younger man in your entourage to make the request for you.
Upon their arrival, you hand each a glass of champagne, and lead them graciously to the master bedroom, where you imagine the Obamas once slept. It is very hard to settle a score with the president of the United States, but you intend to try. At your direction, one after another, everyone in the room urinates on the bed. Maybe you top it all off with a dribbling of your own. You laugh maniacally. Victory is yours.
Except
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Trumps Golden Rule of Governing (Original Post)
L. Coyote
Oct 2017
OP
Wounded Bear
(58,693 posts)1. Trump's Golden Rule: Those with the gold make the rules...
BigmanPigman
(51,623 posts)2. How do you spell "oligarchy"?
Gothmog
(145,487 posts)3. The pee tape will come out if trump pisses off putin
COLGATE4
(14,732 posts)4. It's rumored that Trump once asked Pence if
he knew the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo. When Pence indicated that he didn't know, Trump replied "I never had a garbanzo on my bed".
L. Coyote
(51,129 posts)5. Trump only hires the best people. LOL.