Maybe we're being too narrow in thinking that only mothers can nurture. And I think a life partner can take on many roles, especially as a relationship ages.

I remember my mother teaching me how to do laundry properly, iron a shirt and trousers, replace a button, and do basic cooking. That all started when I was 16. She also "let me" vacuum the floors and do other household chores. I didn't realize it at the time, but she was helping me for the future, when doing those things would be part of sharing in household responsibilities.

In my own household, I'm responsible for laundry and meal preparation and grocery shopping, along with outdoor and yard stuff. It just seems natural to me. My wife does other things. For big jobs, we work together.

From what I hear from others, it appears that such a division of labor isn't all that common.

In our household, I do most of the cooking, but I love it. I do zero yard work, because I hate it. We share bills. I do the bulk of the dishes, but I don't mind because as I said, I do zero yard work. I'd rather spend five hours washing dishes than pull one weed.

We're pretty equal overall, I think, which is lucky. We mostly do our own laundry at the moment, for whatever reason, though in our previous house, when we had dogs, I tended to do more of it. I do more of the actual cleaning, but he does the bulk of the driving.

And life partner. I learned after I got divorced the first time that I wanted a guy who had a good relationship with his mother. My ex hated his Mother.

Also a lot of these misogynist types have no women in their life’s and they are miserable so they turn to hate instead of love.

i have hammered it into my daughters' heads that you have to love his mother, and so does he.

2nd divorce from a mama's boy.

wish we had a post rec button.

It's not what I look for - I specifically told my wife when we started looking at having kids that I didn't want to lose us in having kids because they'll move on some day and we'll have our own lives to lead together without them.

But for others, what they want - which may look wrong from other relationships - is exactly what you're describing. Sadly, a lot of women don't realize that's what's happening at first and it's hard to push back against it because many of those types of guys are just fucking awful in how they react, from feeling attacked and being whiny about it to the other extreme of getting angry and violent over it.

It's just something that occurred to me - the idea that some men's expectations are a major source of friction. Most of the women I've known do not really want to be some grown man's mother. I can see where conflict would arise.

that does want that kind of dynamic. Even if it's 1% that's a lot of people.

I also believe it works the other way as well. Some women see the man in their life as a child needing to be monitored, guided, and disciplined.

When those two basic world-views are mismatched, trouble is guaranteed.

when she was married (?) to Mick she said that her "Mama told her that a man wants a cook in the kitchen, a maid in the living room and a whore in the bedroom". Since she is married to Murdoch (86) now, I think she is being a nurse and Mommy too. In the film The Women from the late 30s they said that a husband also wants a Mommy to comfort and take care of them when they have a cold and they act like they are at death's door, a best friend to tell them how wonderful and desirable they are and a spouse who will look the other way when their husband has affairs to boost the fragile male ego. That is asking an awful lot of any one person in a supposedly "equal" relationship. Now if you look at Pence, he gets a Mommy and spouse in one person...is that a healthy relationship or BS?

He's decidedly weird, I think.

I wonder if he will get conjugal visits with his "Mommy"?

Dated, yes, but it was exploring some of the inequalities in relationships, I think.

...where women are there to support the men in whatever they do. Moms do it for their sons and teach them to find wives who will do it for them as "adults". Barefoot and pregnant and in the kitchen is the woman's place while men have other things to do. I know I was taught in church and at home that the woman was subservient to the will of the man.

Thankfully I got over that.

I do wish my mom had outlived my stepfather - it galls me that he is still walking this earth while she is not. The last several years of her life she was starting to see what a mistake he was. We actually had many great christmases together (without him) towards the end.

That completely and totally shocked me, even back when I graduated from high school. (I also think there's a weird erotic element to it, but that's a different issue).

run by fundamentalist baptists. Our senior year they hauled us from Texas to South Carolina to visit Bob Jones University. Even having grown up in that environment some of the rules shocked me. (Mixed race dating was a no-no then. I'm actually surprised they let black people in but i guess they'll take anyone's money). I'm pretty sure I remember the guys in the dorm we visited said you weren't allowed to hold hands with a girl while on a date. They had social gatherings so you could talk to girls while they kept an eye out for inappropriate behavior.

The best part of that trip though was that a girl I liked was on the bus with us and we sat in the back and held hands from Greenville back to Dallas. We felt like such rebels lol!

I'm still friends with her on FB and this was almost 40 years ago. She's still pretty awesome and about as fed up with our particular brand of religion as I am.

I want to dote on a woman and do things for her. I don't want her doing things for me. If she wants to we can do things together.

That's why he's my Ex.. He took issue with the fact that I earned more than him, and pursued educational opportunities to further my career - Yes, that is actually on my Divorce paperwork...

I take out the trash, do the heavy lifting and home security. After 50 years, no complaints either way.

last week.
The man looking for a wife , dolly is a matchmaker, wants a women who will be cheerful while cleaning and cooking. Women willing to meet him like that he is a "half millionaire" and don't care about love. I thought about how times have changed and most in this country now have the luxury to choose partners for other reasons besides house maids and only rich men ( if they so choose)
Each to their own as long as they are both in agreement I guess. There are people in to all kinds of relationships I find odd but whatever.
Added : Barbara Streisand a jewel , loved seeing the movie again saw it a hundred years ago

My wife's family is similar.

Men are partners. If not they are rejected.

ie: cleaning, cooking, having/raising kids until they're old enough to be interesting to the father (ie: can talk and do things). When the woman asserts her humanity or own needs for career, independence, self-care, that's often when problems arise. It boils down to how much women are considered human rather than a utility or caretaker.

I think there's a lot to what you suggest.

The dude had already been married several times. He said he wanted somebody to
do his laundry, cook his meals, and "sex him up."

My Dad was like that. He - in his 80s and long divorced from my Mom - wanted to get back w/ her - so she could take care of him.

She saw that for what it was and told him "hell no". She got away from that once. That was enough!

subservient women. It's difficult to pull this travesty up but the roots.